A whole week has passed already after we resumed school again from our suspension. I have been avoiding Rose recently, despite we keep get to see each other, but I was put in that effort to hide myself, through out yesterday we never spoke to each other, I am yearning to see her today, yet I want to still remain in hiding. Of this emotions going on inside me, the outside emotion was just blank, something I learned from my mentor and role model, Mr Peter. Deborah too seemed distant after my mum passed, we haven't spoken a lot or can I say we haven't spoken either, but this time I no longer feel her the way I was used to, she feels long gone as of recently, Steve tells me that they're still speaking as usual, I know his usual though, Deborah approaching him to continue pleading. I don't like seeing her in that position though, pleading to Steve to accept her back, something I was doing in the past, begging for recognition, begging for attention, begging to be cared for, but now who is begging?, And for the fact Steve doesn't even care makes me feel bad for her, but no, I am no umbrella of hers, gone are the days I would sacrifice myself to protect her from everything the world throws at her, gone are the days I always simp just to make her see me as more than a friend, this time, she will feel what it felt like being her armor all this years.
     Prom is fast approaching, and this time, I am participating in it, I have always stayed single whenever there is prom, always trying to make Deborah see that if it wasn't her, that I am going with no one else, but this time, I guess she's going to stay in my shoes unless Steve still have a soft spot for her in there, or maybe she can definitely find someone to take her to prom, she's actually a beautiful young lady.
     Its been a new experience joining the school basketball team, I am fairing good with them though, they are beginning to see me as a new guy, one whom you definitely want to be friends with, don't know whether it's because of my new sibling ship with Steve or because of the sudden change they are experiencing from me, either way, theirs change.
     Rose keep on changing every single day, getting more beautiful as days pass, I am beginning to feel this sudden fear inside of me that Rose might wake up one day and stop loving me, that would be the worst thing that should happen to me, to maintain her presence, I guess it's best I continue to hide from her, making her to feel that hunger of always searching and yearning for my presence. It's a lie if I say that her absence yesterday isn't bothering me, what if my fear has already happened?, What if she actually woke up yesterday and said I am no longer the one she wants?. I have to go look for her right now, I am not feeling comfortable about her sudden absence, someone who always follow me like flys chasing a mango fruit.
     I can see her distance from here, she was sitting on a bench with few friends of hers whom I usually see mostly in the music class, I stood in hiding, far from her, staring at her laughter and happiness with those around her, did she even miss me?, What if they are talking about boys?, Someone to replace me or something.
     I feel a hand touch my shoulder, I turned immediately quite shocked because I never expected it. “ Hey Deborah...... What.....are.....you..... doing here?”. I couldn't get to speak clearly because she was definitely the last person my mind would tell would come to me, I didn't even felt her presence or the smell of her fragrance, I can always tell when Deborah was around because of her fragrance, but now, it never passed by nose.
“ What do you mean by that?, Can't I come to see you again?”.
She asked with a slight frown on her face. What is she doing?, Does she think her expression would move me or what?. “ I don't know, at least you are here for something I guess.....”. I turned away, looking back at Rose's direction.
“ I thought boys have this bro code or something?, Never you date your best friend's sister......”.
Where is she going to with this?, Is she here to play a mind game with me or something?, Because if she's here for that, she has definitely reached rock bottom. She was still looking at me, as if she was expecting answers or something.
“ Steve might be already at the school field, go there if he's the one you came to ask me about”.