For hours, Mom, Miki and I chatted about the things that happened in the past 4 years. I made sure that there’s nothing to worry about me and that I met new friends who accepted what I am.
“Are you dating someone right now, Misao?” Miki asked so innocently, it almost caught me off guard. Mom smiled as if she was about to ask the same thing.
I can’t help but smile too. “I’m not dating anyone yet but… I have someone I really like.”
I caught them throwing glances with one another.
“Does he know that you like him?”
I nodded. “But I’m still trying to win him over.”
“What’s he like?” This time it’s mom.
“He’s someone who smiles a lot. He’s always the center of the crowd. He’s friendly and kind enough to ask me to join their group. He faces every problem head on. He’s like a ray of sunshine. At first, I was scared of his brightness but as time went by I thought to myself, I want to be beside that light and protect his smiles. Always.” I paused when I realized I said too much. “He’s an idiot who likes drinking but he has super low alcohol tolerance.”
“What’s his name, Misao?” Mom and Miki chuckled when they realized they spoke at the same time, with the same question.
“Toshiro.”
Mom’s face softened, “I wish I could meet him soon…”
“Me too, brother. I’ll visit your place next time.”
“Sure, just tell me when.” I patted Miki’s head. My little sister is so adorable, I’m happy she’s doing well.
***
Time flew fast and it’s now time to go. Mom and Miki’s faces were filled with sadness but I assured them I’ll visit them again whenever it’s safe to go back. That means, when dad’s not around. I even told them it's fine if they want to visit me and gave my address to Miki. She promised that dad would never know about this.
I was on my way out of the hospital when Miki chased after me.
“What is it, Miki?”
“Misao, I figured you have to know about this… Saki returned not long ago. I met him once and he asked about you. He asked if you returned back home or if you visited? And he asked if I knew a way to contact you. I told him the truth, that you haven’t returned since you left and we haven’t talked to you since then.”
Suddenly, my heart started beating so fast my chest ached.
“I just thought he desperately wanted to tell you something. I think… you should meet him.” Miki’s brows were drawn down as she focused her eyes on the floor, her hands unconsciously squeezing each other.
I leaned forward to ruffle her hair. She looked up at me. “Thank you for telling me, Miki.”
***
I was about to go back home when I suddenly found myself near Saki’s house. Maybe I was lost in thought or maybe I want to hear what Saki has to say. I also wanted to know how he’s doing. We both left this town without a word with each other, that’s why I want to talk to him and apologize for all the hurt I caused him and for those painful memories.
He was my only friend back then. He will always be special to me. And I really want him to be happy, I sincerely hope that he’s happy right now.
I was about to go back when a black Mercedes Benz S Class sedan pulled up in front of their house. Then a guy wearing casual business attire got out of the car with his phone over his right ear.
“Yeah. I just got back home. I’ll grab the package then I’ll hurry back there.” He chuckled and then, as if by instinct, he glanced at my direction and our eyes met. “… Hello, Reo… I think, I will be late.”
He ended the call without breaking eye contact with me.
“Hi… Saki.”
“Misao?”
---
We were sitting inside his car with uncomfortable silence for about 10 minutes now, no one’s trying to break the silence or maybe we just don’t know how. I could sense Saki’s nervousness from beside me. He even tried to say something but every time, his voice wouldn't come out. He was fidgety and he kept clearing his throat.
I took a deep breath.
“How are you, Saki?” He almost jumped from where he’s sitting when I suddenly spoke. “I heard from Miki that you’re back.”
“Y-Yeah. Just last month. I didn’t expect that I’ll meet you today, Misao. That's why I wasn’t able to prepare myself and my mind is literally blank right now…”
That made me a bit confused yet amused at the same time. “Right. It’s been a long time… Miki also told me that you want to tell me something?” I took a quick glance at him.
Saki’s face suddenly turned beet red as our eyes met. I wasn’t expecting that reaction from him but he didn’t change at all. He has always been this cute innocent boy who blushes so instantly and randomly whenever he’s with me. I can’t help but smile.
“Eh… Actually, there’s a lot I want to tell you. I want to say everything but I’m afraid my mind is all over the place right now, I don’t know where to start.”
“Hmmm…”
“Misao?”
“You don’t have to worry about that Saki. Just tell me whatever is in your mind right now, if you forget something, you can tell me next time when you remember it.”
He stared at me for God knows how long then suddenly his shoulders fell down, disappointment clearly showing on his face.
“I wonder when that ‘next time’ is? I feel like this is just a dream. And that,I thought about meeting you again every single day that I dreamt you into existence. Meeting you today, sitting beside you and talking to you right now, feels like a sweet delusion for me. And anytime soon, you’ll just disappear again without a trace and I won’t even have an idea when I will see you again.”
I thought for a few minutes then I finally heaved a deep sigh of surrender. “Please don’t worry about that, Saki.”
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