Nathan
It had been a busy week, getting back to the business world, meeting all employees and hiring new managers and CEO’s. Our friends are also getting a lot of calls from people who want to but the houses we gifted them. Luckily, none of them are dumb to actually do that. It would be a disaster if I suddenly had all these women hunting me at home. 
The journalists and media houses are issuing apologies to my wife, but it’s too late for them. I am dragging them to kingdom come. My wife is untouchable is the law they will never forget. 
The following church service is packed. The west and east wings are opened. I had never seen that before because we had never filled the church like this. Even with those wings opened, there are people standing. The Jezebel’s, as my bestie calls them, are here in their numbers. There is also media this time. 
“This is madness,” Amari mumbles next to me as we manoeuvre our way to the benches reserved for choir. 
I notice many eyes looking at us as we make our way. 
“Where is he?” I hear the not so quiet whispers. They really don’t care about making noise in church. 
“His wife is here, he must be around somewhere.”
The whispers continue until the service begins. 
Pastor Samson welcomes everyone before making an announcement. 
“We have a special guest amongst us today. Brother Frank from Palmville is sister Lord’s grandfather, her late grandmother’s brother. Brother Frank will be staying with the Lord’s and will be worshipping with us. I hope we will make him feel at home.”
I wave my hand and get a loud Amen. 
“Brother Lord sent his greetings.  Last service’s events have, unfortunately, led to him making a decision to worship at home from now on. He will be added to the list of members who will receive home holy communion as we do with our sickly members,” he adds and our members shake their heads at that while our guests begin leaving one after another. 
“They are not even pretending that they came for a service,” my wife complains. 
“No one attends a service looking like that,” I whisper back at her and suppress my laughter when Mrs Gail shouts for them never to return. 
“You cannot chase people out of the Lord’s house, Mrs Gail,” Amari tells her. 
“The Lord himself chased away people who were selling and doing evil stuff in his house, Dear. I am following his footsteps. I shall be like him,” my bestie responds while my wife shakes her head, defeated. 
I am really relieved when the service becomes as quiet as usual, but I can’t join the choir when it sings or my cover would be blown. The voice box I have can only change my speech but I can’t strain it. 
It is after the service when everyone comes to greet and welcome me. It is not easy to pretend not to know them. It dawns on me that this is not going to be as smooth of a process as I imagined when the old single ladies start hitting on me.
It is still funny how my wife protectively pulls me away when they start getting weird. I really love this community. 
We are heading to the car when Sister Lana stops us. 
“Now, who might be this handsome man be?” she asks with a honeyed voice while shaking my hand and holding on to it. 
“This is my grandfather Pastor Samson was referring to, and he is married,” Amari tells her before protectively untangling her grip on my hand. 
I suppress a laugh when she opens the car door for me and signals me to get in. 
“What a shame. Where is his wife, because…” Sister Lana asks. 
“Good afternoon, Sister Lana,” Amari cuts her off and leaves the old lady standing there. 
I can’t help but burst out into laughter as we drive out. 
“It’s not funny. It was those women, now it’s the old ones,” she laments, but this is funny. 
“You are so jealous, you even gave me a wife,” I point out and laugh when she pouts. “Don’t worry, my love. This handsome old man is all yours,” I tease and get a sharp stare. 
I grab her hand and plant a kiss on it while she rolls her beautiful eyes on me. 
Two weeks later, I return home to find my wife waiting for me. 
“Brother Frank must go,” she says the moment I walk in. 
“No, why?”
I know why, but I still ask. Brother Frank is proving to be more popular than the real me. I still think it’s all because of my wife. The people here really adore her. Anyone she is related to gets extra attention, but it drives her crazy. 
“Seriously? Do you know how many old women came by to visit today alone?” she asks while I maintain my straight face. 
“Eleven, Nathan. I am getting tired of telling them that, “No, he went to see his wife at the hospital.” That does not even work. 
“Oh, Dear. Maybe, I should go with him. Tell him I came by.” Oh, and, “I brought him these scones. Don’t eat them.”
My wife rants and all I hear is scones. We get so many, you would swear that we have a bakery. 
“Where are my scones?” I ask to tease her, but my mouth is already watering with anticipation too. 
“Nathan!” she cries. 
“Oh, come on, Babe. They do make delicious scones,” I say defensively and she sulks. 
“Maybe you should go and marry those women.”
That is enough to end my jokes. I pull her in my arms. She avoids my kiss. 
“Don’t try to bribe me with your charms. I can’t do anything around here.”
“Okay, but how do I go to church?” I ask and she lets out a defeated sigh. 
“Remind me to marry an ugly poor man in my next life,” she says while I chuckle. 
“But, that’s exactly what you did in this lifetime, my love,” I remind her before signalling at our wedding portrait. 
She laughs, but I know that I need to handle this. My bestie has the same impression when we chat later. 
“Amari loves people but she values her privacy. She currently has none,” Mrs Gail tells me what I already know. 
Amari is shocked the following morning when she walks into our lounge and finds all Frank’s admirers having coffee. She shoots me a sharp stare before greeting them. 
I stand behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. “Babe, these ladies have something to tell you.”
“We are sorry, Dear.”
“We did not mean to stress you and the baby out.”
“We had no idea that it was Nathan.”
Amari turns her head to look at me. “You told them?”
“Well, you threatened not to marry me in our next lifetime.”
She looks at me in disbelief. 
“Seriously? There is no such a thing as the next lifetime.”
“I know, but I still can’t risk it if it happens to be there,” I say and plant a kiss on her neck. 
“Nathan,” she calls to me softly. 
“And I get to continue coming to church as Frank,” I continue. 
“We won’t say a word,” Sister Lana says and they all nod in agreement. 
“You can still visit, but call first and scones are still welcomed,”Amari tells them while I shake my head.