“YOU HAVE RIPPED THE WRONG CHORD.”
AT WHAT COST? (interlude)
Do you see my price?                                                                                                                                          Have I not won?                                                                                                                                                      Have I not seen from the lenses I so dearly wanted to see from?                                                                    Have I not achieved the experience I have so wished for?                                                                      Though I used my fellow dreamers as a stepping stone.                                                                                It is only natural; I am human, aren’t I?                                                                                                                Then why?                                                                                                                                                                Why do I feel like I had hurt the dreamers to get a glimpse of my dream?
~By TOBI
Getting to school, everyone in the boss acted a little cold, I knew not why but they all acted that way and it was kind of suspicious, did they notice me? Have I been noticed? I mean I wasn’t really obvious; did I really do anything bad? I mean now I look at it, I was just trying to get something done, it’s been two days and I have been trying to talk to them but they are all either ignoring me or giving straight replies, after the thing that happened with amil that day, I was not really moved, instead I was kind of more pissed or something. Yes, I know, I know what you are all saying but I will just clear myself before you clear me, I was not thinking straight I was high on my selfishness so I guess I saw what I was doing as nothing, in my eyes it felt like I was asking for help without asking for help.
After we talked Konna noticed him and then approached him, at the end Konna came to me and then said.
I only told him to excuse my shot so what exactly happened, I mean I sounded kind of rude but… sigh, its his misunderstanding then.
“hey are you both okay or something ?”, he talked to me normally but when I mentioned your name, he became all quiet and hissed, he said nothing was wrong but that doesn’t sound like it.” Konna said. I said I was going to talk to him myself but I was lying, I didn’t know how I was going to handle that heat and it pissed me off that he would react like that, I was kind of irritated, I know I did my part of borrowing his laptop and I have been ignoring him and just taking the laptop after a simple permission, I did ask him so I didn’t rally do anything wrong, he gave me his permission and that was it, he always wanted small chats after  I return his laptop but I was not really willing to indulge in such with him. In my head at that moment Konna told me about it I said to myself. 
“is it because I refuse to talk to him or something, I have not been going to get his laptop so why exactly Is he angry?” I asked as the irritation of senseless anger boiled in me. I was okay but I wasn’t, I wanted to approach him but instead I approached the one whom I needed something from, the one that I had already impressed yesterday with my polaroid picture.
Now I have her attention and I was willing to make it worthwhile, I wanted a camera and I had to meet her.
“Hey, are you alright, how are you doing.” I said after walking to her desk, trying to start a conversation with her.
“I am good and you.” She replied as she paid attention to the book she was reading.
“So, uh.” I was trying to ask.
“Look, I know I understand, I will be giving you the camera by this afternoon, in the next 13 minute we will be going to class so after class I will give you the camera and see how you handle it.” She said with a less authoritative but more dismissive gesture.
Later we went to class and after that we headed back to our little hub and now it was time, I leeched to her as we entered our own building and followed her to her table. 
“Okay, Aella, lets see what you got.” Monna said bringing out the camera, it was a canon Eos 70D, it was black and had complicated but curved edges, I had not seen a camera before and this was my first time so I was at first mesmerized by the presence of what was in her hands. 
“here you go.” She said as she handed the camera over to me.
“I was first excited then confused, what am I supposed to do, I mean obviously we all know there are buttons on any gadget or device but this one had more buttons than a phone so, I turned it on myself, at least. She then thought me how to use all of the buttons, I ended up taking pictures of a lot, each space and everything, for now I was living my life, in the best way possible, I was happy, I was seeing everything come to flourish on and it was beautiful, I showed her my shots after everything and she gave me a compliment I never expected.
“wow, you have a knack for art indeed, this is nice.” She said to me.
“thankyou.” I said to her.
“okay, so how do I share it to you.” She asked me.
I was going to say my phone but I wanted the end products there only not the unedited picture, I would at that time go to amil but right at that moment he was annoying me and he hated my guts for now. 
I told her to hold on to the pictures for me that I would collect them later but its been two days and I have only been taking pictures, she has been borrowing me the camera but today she decided not to give me, she said to me to go and edit the one I already have, I went to one person I had not gone to before and that was Xavier and this was where all my trouble started, Xavier is not Konna, he is simple to talk to but his words carry only truth undiluted in any form of pity.
“Hey, Xavier.” I said, approaching him.
“Uh, what sup Aella.” He said with his calm voice.
“Uh, so what are you doing.” I asked. He looks at me and raises his book, looking me in the face with confused but lost eyes. He is so bland.
“So uh, you got a laptop too.” I asked, I noticed he brought this to school yesterday and no one looked surprised so this means he has always had it.
“Oh yeah, I have one, its here with me right now even.” He said as he paid no attention to me and he continued to read his book.
“Oh, well can I ask a favor.” I said to hm, he really is hard to deal with because he will a=wait for your answer only to tackle it.
“Alright then.” He said.
“Can I borrow your device; I want to save some files on it and all.” I said to him. After hearing what I had to say he closed his book and then unlocked his bag and brought out his laptop.
“This is it.” he said looking at me and holding the laptop. Me seeing the laptop, it was indeed a bigger laptop than amils and I was kind of excited.
“This is it but I won’t give it to you.” He said, looking me in the eye. I already at this moment i thought he was saying I can have it, like, take it so I was already showing my appreciation.
“Thank you so m….” I was trying to say till my brain did a replay and I heard “but I won’t give it to you.” I opened my eyes and I looked him in the eyes with confusion but then to the same time I was too scared to ask him why, till I summoned courage to ask why. 
“Uh, why? Did I do somth….” I tried to say then I was cut short by sir Xavier.
“I won’t give you because you already have a laptop of use.” He replied me, looking me dead in the eye.
“Oh, you mean amil’s laptop, well he has decided not to talk to me anymore.” I answered him.
“So, don’t you think you should be finding out why he is not even giving you hearing? Instead of latching to another person that so happens to have something of use to you, how do you think? I am very sure, you have noticed no one has been giving you any hearing today? How do you think I had my laptop but still used amils from time to time, am I stupid? Do I not have a mac book, but truth be told my laptop had a fault and I had to get this one, and the one I used the last time, oh, I shared and especially with amil, no one even knows this one is new but that concerns me alone. 
All I know is once upon a time I use to rely on amils laptop for typing some things and when you came into the picture the boy always gives you the laptop and he never says “hey give me back or anything.” He was so good to you, I didn’t even mind that, I liked the fact he made a friend in you but then after all he did, you threw him away, he was like your toy, right? You started ignoring him because you were having less to do with him and more with his gadget till the gadget had no use again and then you had nothing to do with him in total, Monna was now the target, she had a camera, lets use her then go back to the last one, oh wait the las one can’t work so we need to find a new one, we have been seeing all you’ve been doing, saying in our heart, you will probably make peace with the lad but no, you kept on going. Now tell me miss Aella, would I want to share my gadget with such a person?” he asked me as I stood there, my eyes wide open, my face numb from shock, my body refusing to respond from shock, I was more or less broken.
He wasn’t lying, I did a lot of rubbish and I am so wrong for that, it all came back to me and I was so ashamed and sacred at the same time. Now this next part broke everyone because they already gathered me as sir Xander raised his voice to discipline me with his harsh words.
“I, I……I am sorry for disturbing you.” I said to him as tears fell from my eyes, I was more or less crying and did not know it.
“I shouldn’t have done all I did, I really did not see it like that, I was just trying to pursue, yeah, I guess it’s too late for me to explain, I really am sorry for this and I promise not to disturb you guys or better still step on you guys just to glance at what I truly wanted to be.” I replied him and then let out a smile and cleaned my tears, I turned back and gathered everyone around and formally apologized. 
Well it was about time, I knew what I had done and it was really eating me up, I wasn’t supposed to be carrying out actions like this but here I am.
“Uh, now I have everyone’s attention, want to start by saying I am sorry for not being what you expected and I am sorry for causing you guys pain and bringing confusion to this mix. I am most especially sorry to you amil, you all have been kind and I am a bad person for making use of that kindness to feed my selfishness, I am truly sorry for this, please accept my apologies.” I said with a calm smile as guilt riddled my face. After that I walked out carrying my bags, the room was silent and I could see the eyes of those I could have called friends look away from me except amil, he looked at me first and then let out a half frown and looked away. I was more or less broken anyways so why not shoot me in the same spot and destroy my ability to heal.
Its funny I thought I was so smart but it turned out that everyone else here was smarter than me and I was just fooling myself.
 I didn’t know I hurt amil like that and now all i can feel is shame for what I had done to someone who was so nice he wanted to be of help, I had done it, I had finally done it, I know amil would have said this if I had approached him but I wish I heard it from him because indeed I deserve it, I had done it, I had ripped the wrong chord and now my game is over and all I feel is stupid pain.