Eighteen

Days, weeks and it even turned to another month, and still we've never talk.
These past few days we're really committed in our studies, and its kinda really exhausted!
Its my fault. I know it is my fault why he distancing himself to me, and I know it was me to blame. I don't know what just happened to me that night and I'm so crazy, and now here I am like 'I want to talk to him and say sorry.' Like duuh, he just asked if I have eaten, then asked if I'm with Cody then.. He just even asked if I do love Cody?
But that night I was really totally upset and crazy in my unknown reason. So it is really my fault.
But in my other half of my brain; I think it's a good thing too, I guess? Because I think, I'm starting to have feelings for him but who wouldn't? He's almost kind of perfect yet his gay.
I ordered my favorite ice cream flavor and sat on the bench beside a tree, and I was so surprised when Chloe sat beside me I wipe my mouth using may left hand, I don't want her to see that I ate an ice cream like kid, I want to be more presentable whenever she's around me. I don't know but I kinda felt want to, do I sound like an insecure low-key bitch? Well I don't know? And I don't care?
"Hey.." She said then she smiled so sweetly, I look around if she is with Greyson but its only her appeared in my front.
"Hi." I said, she tucked her long blonde hair in her left ear
"Do you want an ice cream? I'm sorry I just have one but if you want I can buy you there." I said but she just chuckle, she look totally a nice girl honestly and seriously, no mix some bitterness.
"No its fine, I'm alright." She said and I nod
"Uhmm, why are you all alone? Where's Greyson?" I asked without looking at her but just in my ice cream.
"You guys really hang a lot don't you?" I don't know it just come out, in my mouth all of a sudden, do I sound jealous if I said that?
"He's on the library, well he just texted me that his on the way now here." She chuckle as she looked through her phone and received a text from Greyson, I don't know but I kinda feel envy at her, I don't know but I did.
"Yeah we'll hang out a lot, and he is really amazing!" She said while her eyes is sparkling as she talks, wait do she know he was gay? I know she know he is. But by the words she spoke it seems like she was enchanted by him.
He is gay, so he is not dating any girl right?
Oh shit! Why do I bother?
Its not even my damn business.
I bit my lower lip in my deep thoughts of him, when suddenly he came in front of us.
Chloe smiles as she stood up and they hugged each other, okay really?! In front of me??
My heart just cracked a little bit, now knowing why.
Are they really friends or what???
They look so in love like a newly couple, I tried to look away and ignored their presence as I throw my ice cream in the bin, I didn't finished it. Its already liquefied and I don't feel that I want it anymore, I start to walk away from them, but damn Chloe called me by my name so their eyes was on me now.
When our eyes finally met, my knees began to shake with unknown reason, but I automatically look away. It seems like its been a years we've never seen each other therefore we're living in the same roof. My eyes look around, until I catches his left hand holding a cigarette.
When the fucking hell he know to smoke?
But I shrugged it off my thoughts.
"Wait! Are you going?" Chloe says and I literally nod at her
"Thank you for accompanying me." Did I? She's the one who sat beside me, but oh well. I smile and just nod at her truthfully
"No problem. I'll gotta go." I said and began to walk away, my feet is so heavy like I can't even walk away to them but gladly I did.
When I went home I automatically just dragged myself in my bedroom a minute then take a long shower and back to locking myself again in my bedroom browsing through my laptop until I've fallen asleep.
I packed my things up and bought my plane ticket online last night. Our break vacation just started yesterday so I decided to go home in my hometown.
"You leaving?" Casey and Valerie both asked
"Yeah, I'm going back home, I miss home." I said, and they both come beside me and hugged me
"I'm going to miss you." Valerie said
"Have a great vacation to your hometown." Casey said and I nod at her
"I will." I said
"What time is your flight?" Casey ask
"2:30 PM." I said
"We're going to drop you there." Casey said but I refused it but they still insist until I finally gave up, my eyes catches Greyson when he jogged downstairs
"Wanna come with us Greyson? We will drop Khryzel on the airport later." Casey asked Greyson while Valerie whistling an annoying sound.
His eyes look at me and back to Casey as he combed his hair using his fingers. "I can't. I'm going to meet Chloe later and I have a promise." He said as he wetted his lower lip using his damn tongue he's so attractive when he really does that, and yeah! I knew it. But I feel kinda disappointed that he cannot make it.
"Are you guys really dating for REAL?! Or you guys literally a THING now?" Casey asked as she emphasized the word real and thing, Casey keep teasing him. While Valerie is checking my reaction like she's observing me what do I will react, but totally I know I'm crashing deep down in me.
"We are not." He stated as he chuckle but Casey didn't bought that, Valerie just smirked at me as I tried to calm myself and act normal and unaffected by their conversation.
"Come on Greyson don't be ashamed to tell us if you're dating a girl, we don't judge you." Casey asked him and he just chuckle as he shakes his head his cheeks are fully red now
"They really are, they are sweet like a newly couple so guys you should celebrate, that Greyson finally changed of his heart." I said dropping in their conversation and I can feel his eyes were on me now, his jaw clenched up and I just smile at him insincerely.
I know, I'm falling for him or let me just say I've already fallen.
But here I am being in denial, because I don't want to.
The worst thing about falling in love with your close friend or let me say best friend was having to pretend that you're not.
But don't worry...
I'll be over with him soon...

Book Comment (448)

  • avatar
    Ken Dalabajan

    As I start reading this novel, I said to myslef that I can relate to this novel, it was a very good stories/novel, I really love how the author convey the emotions that she put on the story to turn out beautiful.

    31/07/2022

      0
  • avatar
    Mymuse

    very good story . and i like how the story keep growing from one chapter to another chapter. but yeah poor cody in this situation

    08/07/2022

      0
  • avatar
    DungThùy

    This novel is really interesting

    3d

      0
  • View All

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