"I'm sorry." I mumbled as I removed his both hands to my cheeks, his eyes sadden.
"I guess my instincts was right." He uttered as he smiled bitterly "You like him aren't you?" He asked as he raised his both brows and shakes his head from the both sides
"I'm so-..."
"You don't need to explain yourself because I already know. I'm not a newly born person that was born yesterday." He said as he combed his blonde hair using his hands, while he's oceanic blue eyes still looking at me, his eyes watering.
He's crying.
Cody was totally crying in front of me. And I really felt bad.
My heart sank, I can't see him crying because of me. I'm really stupid, yeah I know that.
I'm hurting the person who really cares for me and loved me.
Why in every relationship makes the one person loves the other person more? Did you get what I mean?
Like Cody he loves me with all of his heart while me? I guess I take it for granted. I don't know. I really fucking don't know.
I sobbed as I try to call his name and hold his hand but he dodged it "Cody.." I said as I cried
It sucks to know that I'm breaking somebody's heart...
Which supposedly to be Cody. I really hate the fact that I'm hurting, breaking his heart of pure of gold.
He done nothing but love me, takes care of me and treat me like a princess, but all I can do is this!
I hate the fact that love fucks everything.
You don't just get what you want immediately, you will need to break some people and even break yourself. That's the thing about love, you love the other selflessly but you may hurt other people selfishly.
He bent down his two knees his eyes was a little red now, and I can't look straight to his blue eyes knowing that I was hurting him very deeply.
"I.. I.. I think its time to let you go..." He said he wets his lips as he start to speak again, he's not looking anywhere but in just my feet. "I'm finally letting you go, I think its about time I move on for someone who was only there to lead me on and use me as temporary happiness." He said as he stared back to my eyes.
"Isn't my intention to hurt you Cody its not really was!!" I said as I sniffs
"You court me in front of your family, and my mind spacing out that time, I don't know what to do! I just don't want to embarrassed you in front of them."
"I love you Cody... But just as a friend, I know I hurt you really fucking bad but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry!!!" I added as I bent my knees too
His face was really hurt when I just said those, I'm so fucking bad at this! I wish I didn't say it.
He laughs with bitterness as he cried. "You really hurt me so bad, Khryzel. But still glad that you're really honest." He scoff
"You really did." He added as he nod slightly at me, I began to open my mouth but I can't find the perfect words to say.
"Don't." He warned me
"Khryzel I'm letting you go but promise me one thing..." I frowned at him
"Promise me that you'll be happy with your life and... You're going to be with s-someone you love." He wiped my tears as he tried his hardest to smile why he's so kind?!!
I really don't deserved this dude in front of me.
"Cody!!" All I manage to say, I'm still crying and I bet its already red and puffy one like his.
"Promise me that." He widen his eyes at me as he start to cupped my cheeks
"I never knew that letting go could hurt this much.." he muttered
"But... Sometimes some of us think holding on make us strong but you know sometimes its letting go..." he added as he kiss softly my forehead.
"I love you Khryzel, I really do. But if I'm not the one who can makes you happy then, I guess... I will let you go. I'll be more happier if you find your happiness because, your happiness was really important to me." He sniffs and wiped his tears too
"Thank you for coming to my life, Khryzel you destroyed me but don't worry I've never been so beautifully destroyed in my life." He half smiled he took my both hands as he stood up so did I too.
Cody was really a good guy. Like REALLY!
His girlfriend to be was so damn lucky to have him.
"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine so hope you are too."
"I'm setting you free so, live your life to the fullest." He added
"I.. I don't know what would I say to you, I'm so really totally embarrassed, you're too kind and.. An-"
"Ssshh. Cut this drama now, I think everyone was going to watch our breakup scene look we are in front of gasoline station." He shrug, his eyes, nose, lips are really red and I bet mine was too. And there's a few people here who passing by and looking at us, and its quite embarrassing.
"I know you're not even mine, but can I have my last request?" He asked
"What was it?"
"Can I kiss you?" He asked shyly, we've been together for almost 5 months and yet we didn't kiss before, he's always kissed me in my forehead and my cheeks.
He's boring? No. He's just a gentleman. He takes it really slow. He doesn't rush those things, because he have tons of respect to the girls.
I just nod at him as an answer as he start to lean in and kiss me. The kiss was slow and passionate it was nothing but a friendly kiss or let me say a farewell kiss to be exact I don't know what is it, we pulled away then he smiled and I did the same.
Even if we broke up tonight, he still managed/insist to drop me home because all he cares about was my safety.
And like we used to, we just talk while walking, until we reached Casey's apartment.
We exchanged goodbyes but before he walks away I hugged him very tight and said thank you. Because I know somehow its hard for him, its hard from his part to let someone go that means a lot to him.
All he can do is smile even if it really kills him inside. When I start to went inside I reached Valerie's room and talk to her.
I really need to talk to someone right now before I get really crazy.
She really feel sad 'bout Cody, because she's the one who referred me to date Cody at the first place so she blame herself, then she also wishes that someday she find someone like Cody.
Because Cody was really a man of her dreams. But she doesn't like a blonde haired man dude just an attitude/personalities he has.