"Can we do it once again?"
Kajol said that again after the director cut her scene filming for the umpteenth time. Kajol, actress who never asked for retake, is now asking for it multiple times because she couldn't finish her scenes well.
"I think you need some rest, ma'am. You look unwell. No problem, you can come back here after you're feeling quite well."
Kajol sighed deeply and then left the set with unsteady steps. With thoughts racing in her mind, she sat down in her chair.
Time flies so fast for her. Her pregnancy began to make changes to her body. People started asking about that. She couldn't keep this secret forever. She had to make a decision soon. But she still wasn't ready for the consequences.
Shahrukh still behaved like the old days, indifferent and unconcerned about whatever she does. He's still a stranger to her. These past few days he even avoided her and refused to talk to her. How will he react when he knows the news?
Her phone rang loudly. She quickly reached into her bag and took out her phone. Aryan calls her. She smiled widely as she look at her phone screen. She press the green button and wait for the caller to speak.
"Hi, Maa! Your lovely beta is here." Aryan greeted from across the phone.
Kajol giggled hearing Aryan's voice that beginning to sound like his father. He is now in US for college. "Hello, son. I miss you so much, you know! How are you? And how's USC?
"I'm fine. USC is always fun. I have some new friends here. How about you? I heard you have a lot of new film projects. Is one of them with dad?"
Aryan is almost 19 now. He has grown up but for Kajol he is still the little Aryan who likes to tease her. They are far apart but they still keep in touch. He often calls her and talked to her about many random things.
"None. Your dad is busy with another project. No time for that." Kajol laughed again. She couldn't hide her happiness everytime she talked to Aryan. "What's the story this time?"
Aryan chuckled. "I have a lot of stories. But I think I'll just tell you at home."
"Oh, is it? Are you coming home soon?"
"Of course. My exams are almost over and I'll be home in one or two weeks."
Aryan will be back soon. He will asked many question and Kajol knew she couldn't lie to him anymore. She really had to make a decision.
"Wow, good news! Come home soon, okay? I'll prepare a welcome party if it necessary."
"That would be fun but I think I miss your Pakoda more, Maa."
Kajol just smiled.
"All right, Maa. I have to go. I'll call you again later. See you at home very soon! Love you." Aryan ended the call after giving many kisses to his mom.
Kajol looked at her phone with a heavy sigh. She needed her best friend and his advice.
She looks for Karan's WhatsApp contact and send him a message.
"Meet me tonight. Urgent."
**
In the evening, Shahrukh met Salman at his residence in Bandra. The two met after completing the filming schedule for Salman's next film.
Shahrukh told him his anxiety. He told him everything that he had been keeping to himself all this time, his marriage problems. He told Salman about his secrets, removing the mask that had been covering the fragility of his marriage.
"Bhai, if you're joking right now then it's not funny at all." Salman shook his head, not believing any single words from Shahrukh.
Shahrukh rolled his eyes. "Come on! I'm talking seriously."
"Every time I meet you, I can still see the same love in your eyes. You can't really hate her."
"What people see is only one small part of the breadth of our marriage drama."
The two men fell silent again, busy with their own thoughts.
"Then why don't you divorce her?" Salman asked.
Shahrukh shook his head. He rose from his seat, took a cigarette, and then lit it.
"Not that easy. She doesn't want a divorce." he said, puffing the white smoke from his mouth. He leaned against the wall and then smoked his cigarette again.
Salman stroked his own hair in confusion. "Uh ... Then it gets too complicated, Bhai."
"Actually I didn't really want to divorce her. I'm just angry. I'm tired of this game and want to end it all. I want her to sit down with me, talk about this matter, but ..." Shahrukh paused. He took a deep breath before continuing again. "I don't know. Every time I see her, I see that betrayal too. And I can't accept it."
"It's been almost five years since that night. That's not hate, man. That's your ego." Salman took a sip of his coffee, ignoring Shahrukh who is staring at him.
"Ego?" Shahrukh laughed sarcastically. "You wouldn't say that if you were me."
Salman lift his body to sit up straight. His hands were across his chest, looking at Shahrukh who is still grinning. "Listen. Do you remember some time ago, you canceled our meeting with Kabir because of what?" he waited for Shahrukh to answer his question. But instead of answering he just shrugged his shoulders.
"You told me on the phone, I asked Kabir to reschedule our meeting. I have to take my wife to the hospital. You know what that means? You always put her first. Always. Be it then or now, you always make her your number one. It's just your ego that keeps you hating her."
Shahrukh chuckled. "I was forced doing it."
"Are you sure?"
Shahrukh fell silent. He smoked his cigarette and stared blankly at the row of street lamps down there.
Salman smiled. "In fact, you still love her like you used to. Nothing changed. Your ego is too big to see that."
Ego? Is it really just my ego?
Shahrukh wondered to himself. He replayed the memories of his happy days with Kajol long before that night happen. He is used to her presence. He is used to loving her. He is always weak without her. All this time they live in the same place but their souls were separated.
Did he enjoy this separation? No. He always spent sleepless nights thinking about her. Five years have passed. He thinks they've had enough playing around with their marriage. It is time for him to return to her. Back to his home.
"So I have to forgive her, na?" Shahrukh said after a long silence. Salman nodded his head firmly then held up his two thumbs. Shahrukh smiled at him, ready for the next step.
**
"Karan, come on! I didn't meet you for this!" Kajol grumbled when she sees Karan just staring at her with his jaw dropped. She just finished her story about her and Shahrukh. But instead of giving a response, Karan just froze in his seat.
"The script is good. Accept it. It would be a very good film for both of you." Karan said, not have any idea about what he's talking about.
Kajol threw a small tissue ball at Karan and grunted in annoyance. "Idiot! You think I made it up? I'm being serious, Karan, please!"
Karan sipped his coffee quitely, trying to process her story. "Why are you just telling me now?"
"I am tired. I don't know how else to deal with him."
Karan is silent for a moment. He placed his index finger on his chin, squinting at Kajol. "Why not just get a divorce?"
"That's not the only way out." Kajol sighed. "No one knows about this matter, not even my mom. I thought of her. Imagine when she found out about this and after that the news of our divorce?"
"But you can't go on living with a man like him." Karan said. "He has done it with Gauri. I didn't expect him to do it to you too."
Kajol shook her head. "It is my second marriage. I can't fail anymore. Now it's too late. I'm pregnant with his child, Karan."
"You what?!" Karan exclaimed while rounding his eyes in shock.
"I know this is insane, but–"
"It's more than insane! You know your marriage is on the verge of breaking up and you choose to have children?" Karan rubbed his forehead. He started to feel stress too. "Does he know about it?"
Kajol just shook her head.
Karan wiped his face in frustration. "You ... Ah, I don't know what to say."
Kajol looked down to her coffee cup. Her finger circled the cup slowly. "I don't know how to tell him. He has been a different man. After all, I don't think he will change just because he finds out about this baby."
Karan dropped himself backwards, leaned back on his chair. "You both are so complicated."
They fell silent. Karan put his hand over Kajol's and holds it gently.
"I just want the best for you. Whatever your decision, I will always support you. But one thing you need to know, you've made it this far. I hope you think about it carefully."
Kajol bite her lip. " I don't want him to know. I won't let him know and hurt the baby. No."
Karan nodded, understanding that his best friend have had enough of that son of a bitch. "If your heart feels it's the best then do it."
Kajol closed her eyes. A little of sharp pain stabbed her heart. The ruin of her marriage is in sight. The marriage that she had built for nearly fourteen years had come to an end. It's difficult to leave Shahrukh who is like a half of her life. But it would become more difficult is she had to sacrifice her baby as a new outlet for his anger.
"I should leave him, na?"
~ TO BE CONTINUED ~