Nothing is truly a blessing in life. Even the sun could make the whole globe dry. Rain could make storms. Breath became restless as the air turned pitch dark. Happiness becomes sorrow when God gives pleasure to feel pain and bitterness. Love becomes a thorn when it blooms on a dry field. Smiles turn to tears. Hugs into a shadow. Wind becomes a hurricane.
Shahrukh stood in front of the big window while Karan and Aryan prepare their plan. In a few moments Karan's terrace will witnessing the biggest decision that will be made by two people who are now as far as the coast and the ocean. Their fate depends on it, whether the sea breeze will be willing to bring the ocean waves crashing on the shoreline.
Shahrukh remained silent even though Aryan spoke to him. His gaze remained vacantly directed out through the window. Something was bothering him. Something he hoped didn't backfire on him. He didn't know if what he had been feeling was enough to make up for his karma of his action. He became even more morries when he thought of that.
This will be the first time for him to meet Kajol again after struggling with regret for months. He had no one to share his pain with. Their separation made him realize that things wouldnt't be easy if he did it alone. He wouldn't be okay when Kajol wasn't with him. He was used to sharing everything that happened in his life with her. And after that everything became easier.
But he couldn't do that anymore. He has lost that right. Today he will try, no matter what, to regain that right. He didn't want to lose his life again.
Aryan notices his father who hasn't spoken a word since they arrived. He became worried that this meeting wouldn't go the way it should.
"Your mother will be here in a moment." Karan said while still staring at his phone screen.
Aryan turned to Karan. “Do you think this will work, uncle? Look at Papa. He may be here but I don't know where the soul is."
Karan turned his gaze to Shahrukh. He took a deep breath and patted his friend's shoulder. “Oy, king, wake up! Your mistress is coming.”
Shahrukh glanced at Karan then looked back outside. "You hid her from me. Why do you care so much now?”
"Oh come on, bhai!" Karan rolled his eyes. "I was disappointed in you back then. You are so very annoying you know? The way you treat Kajol past few years has been intolerable for me. But I also know that you two can't breathe without each other."
"After everything got messed up you just thought like that?" Shahrukh asked coldly.
“Well, I– alright, alright, I admit I was wrong. I apologize. However, I don't want another marriage failed, especially the marriage of two of my best friends. ”
Shahrukh shook his head. "Had you told me then where she was, I probably wouldn't have been this late."
“I'm not the only one hiding her from you. I–"
“Gentlemen, I don't think this is the time for a fight. We can talk about this later, okay? Now let's just focus on this meeting." Aryan said, interceding the two men in front of him. Karan and Shahrukh looked away at each other while Aryan couldn't help but chuckle.
They were distracted when they heard a knock on the door. Karan's staff poked his head through the door. “Sir, Kajol ma'am has arrived."
The three guys looked at each other. Aryan nods at Karan, signaling their mission has started.
"Good luck, uncle." Aryan gives a thumbs up to Karan.
Karan turned to Shahrukh then smiles. "This is his day. I should have told your father that."
After Karan comes out of the room, Shahrukh looked out the window again. "I don't know if I can talk to her."
"You can, Papa. Take it easy." Aryan said with a smile. His smile was so calm, in contrast to his heart that was already beating wildly. Just like his father.
**
Kajol played on her phone while waiting for Karan. Tanisha sent her several messages since morning but she just ignored them. Some incoming calls are even rejected. She prefers to talk to her friends in their group chat. They texted each other, threw jokes, and exchanged funny stickers that made her laugh out loud.
"Hey, hey, gorgeous pregnant lady. You're finally here."
Karan's voice made her divert her attention. She immediately put her phone away and rushed to hug her best friend.
"Sorry I'm a little late. You know why." Kajol said.
"You should've accepted my offer to pick you up. Are they all right?"
Kajol rubbed her big belly and smiled. "They're strong kids. Just torturing me a bit as they gain weight."
"Strong kids from a great mother." Karan smiles. His eyes glanced towards the threshold of the terrace where Shahrukh and Aryan were watching them.
Shahrukh hides behind the wall closing his eyes. She looked very different from the last time he remembered. Cold sweat started to trickle down his temples, his legs were shaking, and his heart was beating uncontrollably. His feelings seemed hazy. Happy? Afraid? Enthusiastic? Worried? Everything seems to have melted into one. He was increasingly convinced that he wouldn't be able to say anything. Never mind apologizing, just a simple greeting doesn't seem to be able to come out of his mouth.
A soft tap on his shoulder woke him up. Karan had stood before him. He had been waiting for this moment but why was his feet so reluctant to move now? What's stopping him?
"She doesn't know I'm here?" he asked. Karan answered with a shook.
"Please talk to her nicely. The pregnancy makes her very sensitive."
Shahrukh nodded then took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then exhaled slowly. He did it several times to reduce the tightness in his chest. Aryan gave him his best smile, trying to calm him down.
"Good luck, Papa. You are the best father in the world." Aryan said.
"I pray that God will be kind to you this time." Karan chimed in.
With slow steps, Shahrukh dragged his feet to Kajol who was sitting with her back to him. He didn't stop praying that God would lighten their mood. He knew they desperately needed to talk to each other. He wished they didn't have to go this way. But what can he do? Everything has to be done that way.
He stopped a few steps behind her. His nervousness was increasing. Now what should he do? Hug her? Or say hello?
He sighed again, closed his eyes, and said the names of his parents. He hopes things will get easier in the next few minutes.
Their telepathy got to work. Kajol looked back when she felt someone was watching her. She was surprised. The person she had been avoiding for so long was now standing right in front of her!
Shahrukh was just as surprised when Kajol turned and looked at him with big eyes. He froze in his place. His lips were tightly shut. His whole body went limp as he realized his chest was starting to feel tight. He really wanted to hug her tightly, releasing the longing that had tormented him all this time. But his guilt held him back. And he hated it so much.
The two most beautiful pairs of eyes in the world stared at each other for a long time. Now they can't lie to their own feelings. They miss each other. That feeling radiated clearly through their gazes, which pushed out their tears to gather in their eyelids.
"I think I should go." Kajol slung her bag over her arm and was about to leave. But Shahrukh quickly grabbed her arm, forcing her to stay seated.
Kajol bit her lip and then looked away. She didn't want him to see her fragile. She had to find a way to get out of that situation.
Shahrukh knelt in front of her and held her hands. His grip was still as warm as ever. Always managed to make her heart melt and feel at peace. She could feel his piercing gaze without even looking at him directly.
"We have to talk."
Finally he heard the voice again. The usual voice that made her sleep peacefully every night. But this time the voice sounded shaky, slightly hoarse, and full of despair.
"There's nothing to talk about."
"I apologize."
Kajol shook her head. She couldn't hold back her tears anymore. "Why, Shahrukh? Why did you just come when things were already like this? Why?"
Shahrukh couldn't stand seeing Kajol sobbing. It hurt him more because he knew the reason behind it was him.
His defenses were on the verge of collapsing but he didn't want to lose this opportunity again.
"We can work this out. We don't have to be like–"
"It's all over. Please don't disturb my life anymore. I just want to live in peace."
"We've come this far, Kajol. You can't go any further without me. Please give me one more chance."
"I've been living alone without you for months. This pregnancy has been a bit of a hassle but I can do it all. Alone. Without you."
"You might be able to live on your own. I know you're a strong woman. But they are not. They need me. We can't be unfair to them."
Kajol, with teary eyes, glared at Shahrukh. "What do you mean unfair? They'll be fine with me. You can see them whenever you want but they'll stay with me."
"Don't be stubborn. I've done that to Aryan and until now I haven't been able to atone for that sin. I don't want to repeat the same mistake. I can't do it again, especially to our children. I beg you, for their sake."
"That's your business. Now you can no longer involve me in all your troubles." Kajol just wanted to get her hand out of his grip and get out of there as soon as possible. But Shahrukh won't give up so easily. Instead, he cupped her face, forcing her to look at him.
"You never looked for us. That explains it all." she said again.
"I was looking for you! Everywhere. I went to your mother, your uncles, your cousins, your friends but no one would tell me where you were. Not even Karan. You have no idea how hard I looked for you. You have no idea how broken I am when you left me." Shahrukh replied angrily.
Kajol sighed then held Shahrukh's cheeks. "It's all over, Shah. All about us. Let's just settle this and go our separate ways, shall we? It'll be better for both of us."
The sentence stabbed Shahrukh sharply. His heart ached so much. Is it true that their story is already finished?
He shook his head vigorously. He can't accept it. His feelings finally spilled out too. His defenses collapsed. "You don't love me anymore?"
Kajol clicked her tongue. "It's not about love or not. What we're dealing with is more than that."
"Then give me one reason why I should sign the paper."
Kajol was silent. Her face turned pale. She had to say that and it would all be over. But her heart held it. No matter how much she fought that feeling, her heart was still stronger.
"Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me. Convince me that you really want to leave me." Shahrukh said.
They looked at each other again. Nobody spoke. Only the swish of the wind slowly filled the void between them.
"Come say that." Shahrukh said once again.
Kajol let go of her hand and looked the other way. "I don't love you."
The smile suddenly disappeared from Shahrukh's face. He felt like he had just been struck by lightning.
"I don't love you anymore, Shahrukh. I do not love you."
"Kajol?"
Without saying any more, Kajol got up from her seat and left him alone. She didn't even give him a chance to speak again. She actually left without looking back.
Everything is done. Shahrukh fell down and burst into tears. His hands clenched and hitted the ground hardly. He failed. Again. He had lost his life forever.
Kajol immediately left Karan's house with tears streaming down her cheeks. No matter how much she wiped them, they still couldn't stop. She couldn't believe she would say that. The pain and longing blended into one, making it impossible for her to clearly see which one she really felt. But she couldn't come back anymore. Everything is done.
She entered her apartment hastily and leaned against the door. She spilled everything there. She screamed at the top of her lungs as she pulled her hair in frustration.
Shahrukh, her husband, was nothing to her now. They were just two strangers having children together. There was no longer Shahrukh who would hug her whenever she was scared while watching a horror movie. No more Shahrukh who will bother her every morning. There is no longer Shahrukh who will give her a solution to her problem.
Shahrukh is no longer her husband. No longer her friend. No longer her brother. No longer her co-star. All the status they had broke on that day. Along with the end of their relationship.
She hastily wiped her tears when she heard several knocks on the door. As soon as the door opened she was surprised to see someone there. Aryan, standing before her, looking at her with teary and hopeful eyes.