Shahrukh sat at the dining table alone. His hands twirled his coffee cup which was no longer warm. His gaze blankly stared at the chair next to him in disbelief. Kajol used to sit there every morning. Sometimes she bothers him, sometimes busy with her work, sometimes busy nagging because of the house business.
"Why are you looking at me like that? Come on, finish your breakfast!”
Shahrukh blinked a few times. He look at his left and right, looking for the source of the voice. No one's there.
He took a deep breath as he shook his head. He took another sip of his coffee, trying to calm his mind.
"By the way, what's on your agenda for today? Are you busy tonight?”
“I just ordered some new flowerpots. You know how much it costs? 500 rupees! The initial price is 1700 rupees. I got a huge discount. I'm smart, na?"
Shahrukh groaned in frustration. He covered his ears and hid his head on the table. Kajol's voices began to haunt him. They kept ringing in his head, like constantly reminding him of their separation.
"Papa?"
Shahrukh was shocked and turned around. Aryan was looking at him in surprise.
"What's wrong with you?" Aryan asked.
Shahrukh immediately straightened his seat and cleared his throat. "No, nothing."
Aryan frowned but didn't ask again. He sat in his chair, still looking at his father.
“Pooja is waiting for you downstairs.” he said.
Shahrukh just nodded. He finished his breakfast quickly.
"Are you going to work today?" Aryan asked again. His father looked back at him with a frown.
"You ask like you don't know me." Shahrukh replied as he rose from his chair.
Aryan clicked his tongue. "I thought you were going to leave your work and started looking for Maa."
Shahrukh froze for a moment in the place where he stood. He really hasn't done anything since he found out that Kajol left the house. He didn't know if he should look for her or accept her decision. He knew their last fight must have had a big impact on her. With her bold decision to leave home, he knew it would be very difficult to bring her back.
“Your mother is not my only concern, son. I also have another thing to take care of.”
Aryan raised his head, staring at his father in disbelief. "You don't care about her anymore? She's your wife, papa. My Maa. She left us. How can you be so indifferent?"
Shahrukh didn't react anything. He approached his son and kissed the top of his head. "I'll take care of that later. Don't worry."
Aryan just watched his father start walking away from him. He couldn't stay still. He had to do something. He quickly took out his phone and called Ayan.
**
Kajol arranged her clothes one by one into the closet. She had decided to stay for a few days at her mother's house before finding a new place to live. She didn't want Shahrukh to find her there. She still couldn't stand to see him. She didn't know when but she was sure Shahrukh would catch up with her and ask her to come home. He didn't want that to happen. At least in the near future. She wasn't ready for that.
She also took a few days off from work, not wanting to see anyone and say anything. News of their de-facto divorce had spread quickly. It made all the media start targeting her and trying to catch up on her latest news. She doesn't want her private life to become public consumption. She didn't want to think about that either. So she avoided it as much as possible.
"Want me to help?" Tanuja said from her room door.
Kajol smiled and shook her head slowly. She was still busy making up her clothes when her mother stepped in and sat down next to her.
"I will never forgive Shahrukh." Tanuja looks at Kajol for quite a while. She could see the sadness on her daughter's face no matter how much she hid it. She already knew everything, the secret the couple had been hiding for so long. Her blood boils when Kajol tells her everything. She thought Shahrukh was different from other men. She thought Shahrukh could be a strength for her daughter. But it turns out she was wrong. All men became the same in her eyes.
"Don't say that, Maa." Kajol got up from her seat and put down her last clothes. "We don't know what will happen in the future."
"You're still looking forward to a future with him? I won't approve of it." Tanuja said straightforwardly.
Kajol turned to look inside her suitcase. A navy scarf was left. She remembered it was Shahrukh's scarf which he gave her when they were on vacation in Switzerland. She grabbed it and inhaled its scent. His scent was still there. She could still feel his presence beside her.
"Your story is over. After you give birth, you need to get your divorce sorted out as soon as possible. I couldn't stand to see you sad." Tanuja said again.
Kajol put the scarf back in her suitcase and put it away. She chose not to respond anything. She hasn't decided on that yet. Divorce is a big deal for her. Moreover it's about Shahrukh, her soulmate. She needed to think clearly about it.
"Kajol? Are you listening to me?"
Kajol sat back down next to her mother. She nodded slowly. "I don't want to think about that now, Maa. Riya asked me not to be too stressed. But I will consider it."
Tanuja looks at her daughter then holds her hand. Their eyes met, giving each other strength. "I'm sorry I couldn't take care of you, beti. I think he's the best for you."
"Nobody wants any of this. It's my destiny, Maa. It's not your fault. Trust me, I'll be fine." Kajol smiled faintly. They stared at each other before their attention was drawn to a knock on the door.
"Didi, someone wants to see you." Tanisha waved her hand, asking her sister to come over to her.
Kajol approached her sister with a questioning look. Her face looked panicked.
"Aryan's up ahead." Tanisha said half whispered.
Kajol rolled her eyes. She looked at her mother for a moment before turning back to Tanisha. "Is he with Shahrukh?"
Tanisha shook her head. "He's with Ayan."
"You sent them in?"
Tanisha shook her head again.
"If it's Shahrukh don't you ever dare to meet him, Kajol." Tanuja's voice behind her makes Kajol even more nervous. Her heart was beating wildly.
"I'll meet them. You take care of Maa. I don't want her to see Aryan here." Kajol said to her sister. Tanisha just nodded as she hurriedly went to the front room.
Tanuja gets up from her seat. "Who is that?"
"Didi's friends. I don't know them."
Tanuja squints her eyes suspiciously. "I'll see them."
Tanisha hastily hold her mother and pulled her away. "Let's just leave them alone, shall we? How about you help me make the biscuits? I'm a little tired of doing it myself."
"Eh, wait wait. Why can't I see that guests? I'm—"
"Come on, Maa. You've been with Didi since ever. Now spend your time with me, okay?" Tanisha interrupted quickly.
Tanuja takes a shaky breath but doesn’t dodge. She just followed her daughter into the kitchen without asking much more.
**
Aryan stands nervously behind Ayan. He poked his head in a few times while fiddling with his fingers. He waited patiently, hoping that his efforts would pay off.
"Don't worry. Your mother isn't that bad." Ayan who understands Aryan's feelings tries to calm him down.
"But what if she doesn't want to see me? I'm so scared." Aryan replied shakily.
"She's coming. Trust me– well, there she is."
Both of them set their sights on the same object. Kajol walked up to them from inside the house. Aryan noticed something was different about his mother's body but he didn't know how to ask.
"Why did you come here?"
Aryan shocked to hear that. No warm greeting for him. Ayan understands what Aryan is thinking so he takes over the conversation.
"Sorry if we bothered you. Aryan just wanted to see you. He said he couldn't reach you for a few days."
Kajol looked at Aryan and Ayan alternately. She swallowed her bitter saliva with difficulty. "I can't see you now, Aryan. You'd better go home."
Aryan looked at his mother in disbelief. Had he just been evicted subtly?
"Can I hug you first, Maa? I miss you so much." he said in a trembling voice.
Kajol walked over to Aryan and stood right in front of him. She put her hands on the boy's cheeks. Aryan had grown up so much and more like his father. "I'm sorry for hurting you, son. But I can't. I can't talk to you right now. I beg you to just go home."
Ayan took a few steps back, giving them time to talk.
"What's wrong, Maa? What did I do wrong? Why did you leave? Why did you stop talking to me?" Aryan asked again. His eyes could see clearly that his mother also had the same longing as him. But he doesn't know what's holding her back this time.
Kajol shook her head and bit her lip. Aryan's face became blurry in her view because of her tears. "It's a long story, son. I can't tell you now. Please, just go home, okay?"
Aryan shook his head. "Do you hate me too? You may have problems with papa but please don't hate me too. I came back only for you, Maa."
Kajol kissed her son's forehead for a long time. Tears welled up in her eyes right then and there. But after that she let him go.
"Ayan, please take him home. I really can't talk to him. My mom wouldn't like to see him here."
Ayan took a deep breath. He couldn't see his nephew coming home with a disappointed face. But he also knows that it will be a big problem if Tanuja sees Aryan there. From their conversation he knew that there was a big problem between their family.
"Let's go home, boy." Ayan said while embracing Aryan's shoulder gently.
Aryan looked at Kajol in disappointment. He didn't get the answer yet but he chose to comply with her request. "I love you, Maa. Come home soon. I really miss you."
After saying that, Ayan takes Aryan away from the house. Kajol could only stare at her son while wiping her tears. Her gaze followed him until their car pulled out of the gate of her house. It hurt her heart to have to say that to him. But what can she do? She didn't want any new problems. Nor was she ready to tell Aryan the truth of her silence.
~ TO BE CONTINUED ~