I pushed my feelings for Giorgio aside for the time being and focused on recovering from the miscarriage. I didn’t want to think of him or anything to do with our relationship at that point.
I just wanted to feel better and move on. I was staying at Noah’s and he was being as supportive and patient as he possibly could.
He hadn’t pushed me to talk about how I was feeling. He was just letting me be and giving me the space that I needed. He was taking care of me and making sure that I was okay. He was doing everything he possibly could to help me.
“What would I do without you?” I asked him as I sat on the bed.
“You would be lost,” he told me and smiled at me. He really was such a good man. I didn’t deserve him and yet he was with me and taking care of me. He made me feel better about everything.
“I love you, Noah,” I told him and he smiled at me.
“I love you too, Allie,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me.
I leaned into his touch and he kissed the top of my head.
“Do you want to go out and do something today?” he asked me and I nodded.
“Yes,” I told him.
“Okay, let’s go then,” he said and stood up.
I smiled at him and took his hand as I stood up. He wrapped an arm around my waist and I leaned my head on his shoulder. We walked out of the room and down the stairs.
“Where do you want to go?” he asked me as we went into the kitchen.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Wherever you want,” I told him.
“I’ll figure something out,” he said.
I smiled at him as he kissed me on the forehead. He went to the coffee machine and turned it on. We both sat down at the table while the coffee was brewing.
“Do you think I could talk to my mom on the phone today?” I asked.
“Of course you can,” he said. “Do you want me to leave you alone while you talk to her?”
“No, it’s fine if you stay,” I told him. I knew that I was going to be talking to her about Giorgio. She had been the one who had talked to me and convinced me to give him a chance, to let him back into my life. I had been listening to her and she had been wrong. I wasn’t upset with her or anything, I was just going to be talking about it and I was okay with Noah knowing.
“I will,” he said. He stood up and brought us two mugs of coffee. I took the mug he offered me and wrapped my hands around it. I brought it to my lips and took a sip. I watched Noah as he took a sip of his own coffee.
“Allie, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he said and I looked at him.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I know that we have been going at a steady pace but I’ve been wondering…” He paused and looked at me. “If you would consider moving in with me.”
I blinked. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me that.
“Umm…” I started. “I guess… I don’t know. I just… I can’t. Not right now.” I was surprised by his question. I thought that he understood the pace we had been going at. He had been very understanding of everything and he had been so patient with me. I hadn’t expected him to bring this up. It took me by surprise.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I felt bad that I couldn’t say yes to him. He had been so good to me. He had rescued me and had been taking care of me since he had found me. I owed him everything. He had been patient with me, he had waited for me to be ready and to let him in. He deserved so much better than me. “It’s just that…”
“I know,” he said and smiled at me. “I just thought I would ask. Don’t worry about it.”
I nodded but I couldn’t help but feel like I had let him down. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to leave me now that I had said no. I looked up at him and his smile was genuine. I relaxed a little bit and took a sip of my coffee.
I heard a knock on the door and I looked at Noah. He stood up from the table and I followed him. We walked to the door and Noah opened it. I froze when I saw Giorgio. I had hoped that I wouldn’t see him anytime soon. I hadn’t been ready to see him. I still wasn’t ready.
“Noah, can we talk?” he asked. He looked at me and gave me a small smile but I didn’t return it. I looked away from him.
“Come in,” Noah said and let him in.
I stood next to Noah and waited for what was about to come.
“Allie,” Giorgio said and looked at me. He smiled at me again. “How are you feeling? I wanted to check up on you.”
“I’m fine,” I said and looked down. I felt his eyes on me. I wished that he wasn’t looking at me like that. I wished that I wasn’t feeling what I was feeling.
“I’ve been worried about you,” he said and looked at Noah. “I was hoping that Noah would let me talk to you.”
“Why would I do that?” Noah asked him. “You have no right to be around her.”