Chapter Twenty-Three - Awkward
"Cute guy, here we go!" Kelly screeched on top of her lungs with enthusiasm, her eyes twinkling like a detecting radar. If anything, she's disrupting the neighborhood with her megaphone like voice.
I scoffed, ignoring her as we crossed the street with Trixy and Tommy following while not murmuring a single word.
Kelly could learn a thing or two about being quiet from them.
"I'll knock!" Kelly offered before I could even utter anything, a wide Cheshire grin was plastered on her lips like she's going to devour someone. Then with her fingers curled into a fist, she knocked on the cold wooden door.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit anxious. It's kind of awkward when we just sat together a while ago and now I'm here, probably going to be stuck with him in an enclosed space for a good two hours.
With a deep, shaky breath I composed myself again, trying to mask my emotions with a blank outlook. It's what I'm good at anyway—pretending.
Not even a second later, the door opens---revealing Tom who stood on the other side of the door with his eyes wandering and temples slightly scrunched up.
I looked away, diverting my attention to the overgrown lawn.
"Hi!"
"Uhm, hello," Tom murmured, unsure as he glanced at Kelly who was a stranger to him, standing in front of his own home at night with a malicious grin.
"Hey Avery, are you okay?" I felt someone tug at my jogging pants, then I looked down to find Trixy glancing back at me with curiosity in those eyes of hers. "---is this the person who hurt you?"
"No," I hushed her in a harsh silence, my eyes slightly widened. "—no one hurt me okay?"
"But you seem afraid of him."
"No, no. I'm just cold."
"Hmmm. I guess."
Then she finally gave in, diverting her attention to Tommy who was fiddling with the loose thread of his t-shirt.
"Uhm, hi Avery," he piped up, unsure what to say next.
I was forced up to look at him, then gave him a tight smile. "Hi."
"Okayyyy," Kelly trailed off, looking back and forth with an observant look. "—well just catch up okay, Tom?"
"I will. Thanks."
Then we walked back home. Kelly nudged me, obviously curious what that tense atmosphere was all about. She leant forward in front of my face as she eyed me like a hawk with its prey. "Hey Avery, did something happen between you and that guy?"
"No."
"Don't tell me-----!!" she let out an audible gasp. "—did you guys used to date then broke up?!"
"No!" I screamed at her.
She clearly didn't listen, letting my word pass through her ears like a bee buzzing. "So you got pregnant by him and then had a miscarria----"
"OWWWWWIEEEEEE!"
"Tch. Drama queen," I rolled my eyes.
I didn't even hit her that hard. It was just a light smack.
Tommy giggled, obviously amused by our conversation.
Trixy tilted her head. "What's a misccaria?"
"You're too young to learn that word, Trixy," Kelly smiled, patting down Trixy's ruffled hair.
"Ehhh! So unfair."
"Yeah! I want to learn it too!"
Tommy argued, stomping his feet like a spoiled child whose mother said no to buy his favourite toy at the mall—which he most likely would break the next day. "---it's unfair how you guys always exclude us kids! We can be like adults too!"
Trixy protested like a rebellious teen. "Yeah!"
"It's nothing important," I assured them, opening the door of my own home. "---come on. Let's go in. Everybody is waiting."
Trixy and Tommy wasn't comforted at all by our response, but couldn't fight back since the smell of food—which they love, wafted their nostrils and with that scent, they immediately forgot about it, running off to the kitchen without even taking off their shoes.
I shake my head, darting Kelly a glare before taking a step.
Then I stop.
"Is that you Avery?"
I froze, my body turning rigid like a figure turned into stone. Then my eyes widened to the size of saucers that I might have thought I was dreaming about it.
-the end-
Just kidding.
"Dad."
"Avery."
He looks much older than when I last saw him; it's as if he was a complete stranger to me, so foreign and yet familiar.
I remember the last time we talked, it was Christmas from a few years ago and he promised me that he'd be back once he was done with his contract. But three years had passed and he never went home to visit, not even once. I didn't even receive a letter, let alone a call from him.
I thought that my mother at some point might've lied to me...but he's here.. standing in front of me with those raven eyes that had wrinkles on the corner of his eyes, grey streaks of hair and a small stubble on his chin.
Then my father took me in his arms, wrapping me tight like I was still a small child, regarding me as his own princess. I missed my own father and as much as I didn't want to admit, I was happy for once.
Even his choice of perfume hasn't changed at all. It smells too nostalgic that I might tear from the memories it brings.
"Oh, you're finally back, Avery."
My mother warmly smiled, eyeing our moment with pride. "Surprise!"
I pulled away from the hug then glanced at my own mother. "Geez. You're so sly as always."
I reluctantly divert my attention to my own father. Things have surely changed and he felt like someone who was estranged to me. It feels awkward and queasy, then again, he is still my father and that wouldn't change.
"You've grown up so much Avery," my father remarked, eyeing me intently. "---you resemble your mother, especially when she was your age."
"Oh darling! I think she resembles you more. Just like your piercing gaze and pouty lips," mom chuckled, putting a hand up her mouth.
"I'm right here you know?" I eyed them. "—if you forgot."
Mom chuckles at my comment, squeezing the blade of my shoulder with her palm. "Come and take a seat. Aunt Lorelei baked some mocha cake and I know you love that flavor."
. . .
Dinner had ended a few minutes ago and everyone decided to hang out by the living room with their own interests. The adults resided by the dining table, discussing about a variety of things—most likely about their youth and children over a glass of wine while Lance, RJ and Tommy bonded over some console games that Tommy had brought and now they are raucously making comments as Lance seems to be losing against Tommy.
Meanwhile, Laura went upstairs to with her boyfriend over the phone since she wanted some privacy and it was too loud below; Raizer had a phone up her face, taking some videos like a montage while she talked over the noise.
Kelly was heavily invested in watching the three boys play on the console whilst cheering for whoever won and Tom and Trixy, surprisingly—maybe not, were playing teacups with the latter's toy silverware and some roleplay, I guess.
I seriously, with all my heart, don't even want to be with him right now. If anything, I'd rather just sneakily go outside and watch the stars with nothing in mind so I can have some privacy----
"Avery!"
"Dammit," I cursed under my breath.
"Come play house with me and Tom!" Trixy encouraged, looking at me with a wide grin.
Tom sat across from Trixy; his back facing me and I stared at his silky blonde like a creepy—but I swear I'm not one.
In the back of my mind, it made me wonder what he's thinking about right now or what expression is he pulling right now. Is he uncomfortable with this situation just like me?
It was in best interest that I wouldn't be acquainted with him for a while. He just rejected me—even though I've never said a single word about my feelings.
'Please don't be mad if I distance myself from you for a while, Avery.'
'It's not that I hate you, no not at all.'
'I...I don't think I'll move on from you if I keep lingering by your side.'
'Also, this might be a great opportunity. Hannah said she likes me...and maybe, I could this chance to get to know her better. I won't inconvenience you anymore.'
'This is what you wanted, right?'
Damn it. Remembering what he said makes my heart ache like someone pinched it from the inside. I feel so pathetic. Like I stooped even lower than where I was, like I was even worse than an ant.
"I can't Trixy. I'm tired," I mumbled, lying under my breath as I eyed her with the most apologetic gaze so she'll take pity.
She pouted, then crossed her arms. "I knew it! He's the person who hu—"
"Okay! Okay! I'll join!" I flailed my arms frantically like a lunatic, wanting to shush her up any way possible.
It would even be more awkward if Trixy continued what she said. It wasn't of any importance. He doesn't have to know. That I felt the same way and all.
Begrudgingly, I made my way towards the two squatting on the floor with three teacups sprawled, some plate with plastic food toys and a large toy house with a child, mother and father. I chose to sit in the middle, still keeping a distance while I squatted tensed.
"You can be the mother for now Avery!" Trixy beamed, handing me her Barbie doll that had its hair tied up in a neat bun and it wore an apron beneath her casual clothing. She then handed Tom the male counterpart of the doll.
Then she held the small kid, beaming ear to ear. "Now we're a happy family!"
"Mommy and Daddy welcome home!" Trixy moved her toy, opening the door of her large toy house. Then she eyed me. "Come on, Mommy. Give daddy a kiss!"
I couldn't move my own figure. This is so wrong. So much that I want to be taken over by a mannequin and pretend that these embarrassing things didn't happen.
With a deep sigh, I shakily made my toy walk closer to where his was then pressed its lips to his. I would be lying if my heart wasn't going crazy right now. I could die right at this spot.
"Yay! What's for dinner, mommy?"
"Uh...stew?"
"Ehhhhh I like pork cutlet more!"
"Okay."
It continued for what felt like forever and it felt like torture. We were still playing house and Trixy seemed to be getting bored, yawning in the middle of her sentences. We were just repeating the same thing over and over for almost an hour and the toys weren't cutting it. I wasn't a best actress nor was he and add some tension to that was a disaster.
Trixy then asked a question that changed everything.
"Tom, do you like Avery?"
My eyes widened as I stiffened like a frozen statue with the inquiry she just blurted all of a sudden. She was looking at him with innocence and pure curiosity. She probably doesn't even know what she's saying. I discreetly glanced to Tom who only stared at her with a blank look.
Then he murmurs, not even hesitating. "I don't."
I quickly looked away, hoping that he didn't notice. I glanced at the toy resting on my palm with my heart becoming erratic. You're so sly Tom. I say inwardly with a tinge pain in my chest as I shift in my seat.
"How about you Avery---"
"I'm gonna....go to the toilet," I brusquely replied, cutting her off before she could even finish asking. I stood up from my seat, placing the toy on the floor and without haste I scurry off upstairs, far from where he could be. Far from where anyone would see me in this state.
Because even if she asked me.. I wouldn't even know what to say.
And with that I burry my feelings even deeper, clutching to my sleeves while a thought bugged me.
I really like him. And I can't say it.
[Extras] : This was the first draft of the chapter.
Why? Was what I first asked myself. Maybe I knew the answer, maybe I didn't. In the end, I'm too late again.
With what he said, it felt like someone slapped me right across the face; my body stiffened and my lips were tightly sealed that I couldn't mutter a single word. My heart stings and it's palpitating too fast that I could lose my breath.
"I've always bothered you with my feelings," he continues, shifting his gaze to the far corner with his fingers tightly clenched. "---I've been forcing myself on you and that's wrong. So I'm sorry for being clingy on you and even..."
"---kissing you."
"That's why I'm giving up on it, Avery," he reasons out, his voice strained. "---I want to be your friend who completely supports you—without ever stopping you because of my selfish tendencies."
"I'm okay with you being with Oskar," he smiles faintly. "----if anything, he'd be better than anyone else. He's a good guy and I'm sure he'd take care of you."
Then he takes a deep breath.
"Hannah said she likes me," he sheepishly brushed a lock off his face with his finger. "---she's an okay girl. Maybe I should give her a chance you know?"
"But it might take a while," he muttered under his breath. "---so don't be angry, Avery. I'm not leaving you; I just want some distance for now."
"I promise I'll be back," he reassured me. "---and we'd be friends like always; I can't do that when I'm always close to you."
"I'll just like you all over again," he whispers. "—and it's just going to hurt."