Chapter Twenty-Two - Surprise
"I'm giving up my feelings for you, Avery."
I was pretty sure that I heard him loud and clear.
Deep inside, I thought he was lying; that he was just saying this as a prank to hurt me---to get back for making him worry--but he was sincere and firm when he said those words. He looks as if he's finally came into terms and is going to move forward without...me.
I would be lying if my heart didn't feel like someone wrung it like a wrinkled cloth and it ached more than when I tripped myself or when I was shunned by people.
My breath became ragged like someone had taken the air away from my lungs; my throat stings like something's clogging it and my body feels numb as if the world came crushing on my shoulders.
So is this what a heart ache feels like?
It hurts so bad. So bad that I want someone to wrap a band aid on it and convince me that everything was fine when it wasn't.
It's kind of funny how I promised myself I wouldn't feel this way just for a guy...and yet I did. I like him way too much that it's turning me into this mess; that I want to hurl these emotions away and curl up like a ball.
I couldn't say anything. There was nothing left to say. In the first place, I didn't have the right to speak those magic words anymore.
It's too late. I'm always...late.
. . .
The walk to home was silent. Not a single person was in sight and only three or two cars passed by occasionally; the streetlights were flickering and the crickets were chirping in full mood. It didn't help that the weather was icy cold and it made my legs freeze--but I couldn't be bothered to feel the shiver since I was cold inside.
Our shoes were clacking once in a while and sometimes I'd stepped on a pebble--but that's about it. I stole a glance at the guy who walked beside me---only that he was farther from me--as if I was contagious to him.
It's kind of funny how things have turned for the worst. If anything, I usually hated how he was always near and touching me as he please, but now I wanted him to hold me and tell me that he was joking.
I've really become a sappy person.
Things were going to change again between us. He's going to distance himself from me until we part separate ways like we used to be so close and now, just mere strangers.
I've always embraced myself with that thought--that he'd leave when he got tired of me and now it scares me. He means so much to me that I don't want to lose him and yet there's nothing I can do.
With my pride reigning over me, I chose to seal my mouth and swallow in the tears that were burning on my the back of my eyes. I wasn't going to cry over a guy even if it rips me to pieces.
It took me a couple of blinks when I realize that I was finally in front of my own home. I am so emotionally tired and all I want now is to just sulk in my room and watch some horror movies to hide the numbing pain in my chest. If only for a second it could make me forget, I would do it.
Taking one sharp breath, I take the first shaky steps until I was inches far from him. Without muttering a word of farewell, I turned my back against him and fidget around my pockets for the keys.
I grabbed them with my cold stricken fingers and inserted in the door knob when I paused, then twisted the doorknob open and to my surprise it was unlocked all along.
I removed my keys and warily opened the door wide, the light from the living room seeping through the door and the blaring on tv was raucous.
A head pops out of nowhere and my eyes widened to my surprise as my heart takes a leap, then settles when my vision takes ahold to who it was. It was Raizer---or so what she likes to call herself since her real name was "boring."
"Hey cuz," she grinned, eyelids droopy whilst she ran a finger through her well pampered hair. "---nice to see you after all these months. Ugh, look at you. You missed me that much your face looked like you got ran over."
"Well," she shrugged, a smug smile reigns her lips. "---I'm the most favored cousin, so I could understand. Everyone misses me, even you."
I blinked, trying to process the information whilst trying to hold my emotions that felt like a moving train wreck. What is Raizer doing here? If she's here...then my cousins are..
"Avery!! Ang laki mo na. Dalagang dalaga na talaga," (You're so big now! You really look like a lady now.) auntie exclaimed, her face brightening up as she saw me and clasped her hands on my own face, squirming my cheeks as she looked at me like I was some statue.
"Ang liit mo pa noong huli tayong nagkita; ngayon ang dalaga mo na talaga na hindi na kita halos makikila!" (You were so little when I last saw you; now you're a lady that I almost didn't recognize you!) she cried, eyeing me from head to toe intently.
"You really inherited your father's genes," she smiled warmly.
"Please let go of me," I utter, feeling my cheeks start to ache from her squeezing my cheeks like some compressor machine.
"Whoops! Sorry, darling," she chuckles, taking a step back from me with her hands now wrung to her sides.
"What are you guys doing here?" I inquired, my eyes roaming from my aunt to Raizer and to my other cousins now seated comfortably on the couches. They were watching some action movies on the television while the smell of soup wafted my nose.
"Well we decided to come here earlier," my aunt explained with a giddy look to her face. It's been two years since I've last saw her and her only child RJ.
She stayed in the Philippines and was busy with her job that she didn't have any time to come and visit. I couldn't blame her and I would guess RJ has grown up so much in that timespan. Would he still remember me? He was such a brat so I hope he's more mature now.
"What about work?"
"Oh don't worry about that," she waved me off, leading me towards the living room.
My eyes roamed around to see their familiar faces. There was Kelly who laughed at something RJ said and Laura who sat beside them, typing her phone away with a frown etched to her lips. She isn't well liked among the family members, if I'm being honest.
"Look who finally arrived! My beautiful daughter!" my mother peers from the pantry, a ladle on her right hand was well clutched with the pot boiling. "--surprise! The whole family is here!"
Kelly stops and turns to look at me. She grins. "Heyyyy Avery. Miss ya gurl."
I lightly smile since I wasn't too enthusiastic and I was rather exhausted. Then the two little kids appeared in front of me and clutched on my knees, hugging me in a tight hold.
"You're here Avery!" Trixy cooed, burrowing her face in my legs. "---I missed you."
"Me too," Tommy piped, clutching on my other leg. "---we haven't seen you and it's really boring just playing with Trixy here."
Trixy and Tommy are twins, aged 6 and are too special for the world to come and hurt them. I don't particularly like kids but if it's these two, then I could tolerate it. They're family after all.
"I'm inviting the Martins and Becketts tonight so hurry up and change your clothes so you can call them," my mother ordered while still occupied with stirring her corn soup.
My lips pursed into a frown. Me? Why do I have to ask them? Especially the Becketts. I mean things just ended up sour between us and now I'm going there.
I don't feel up to it and it's going to be awkward---but I know my mother at the back of my mind that she wouldn't take my groans of protest as an excuse to skip it.
I could feel a migraine start to consume my head by the surprises that just came like a slap to the face. All I wanted tonight was some calm, me time, not some chaotic and lively gathering where I'd have to socialize with them.
"Why do you look sad, Avery?" Trixy murmured, looking up at me with her large, adorable brown eyes. "---did someone hurt you?"
"Yeah! Me and Trixy and..and...everyone will beat up whoever hurt you," Tommy answered back with determination in his eyes and with his tiny hands curled up into fists.
"I'm just tired," I sighed, trying to let them go gently. "---now let me go so I can change clothes."
"Are you going somewhere Avery?" Kelly perked up from her seat, eyeing me intently and with curiosity. "---I wanna come too!"
"Ugh Kelly. Can you lower your voice? You sound as if you want the entire world to hear your voice," Laura snarled, flickering back a gaze of distaste.
Laura and Kelly are siblings with Laura being slightly older by two years and would go to college next year. Kelly was more of the flimsy and average sibling with Laura being more sardonic, laid back and snarky.
RJ chuckled at the retort, then turned his attention back to the television.
"Yeah. I'm going to invite the others to dinner," I calmly replied.
"Are there any cute boys here?" she gushed, her eyes lighting up in ignition.
I nonchalantly shrugged. "I guess you can say that."
And that was all it took for her to come along with me.
....
I ended up tagging not only one, but three people to invite the others for dinner.
Kelly, who's a hopeless romantic, was gushing about meeting new charming boys like some summer fling, even though I'm certain she would just forget about them when she'd go back to her home; Trixy and Tommy, on the other hand, were tagging along since they wanted to walk around.
"Geez. It's like only a few steps away," I utter under my breath. "—why did you have to come along anyway?"
"Does that really matter? So anyway, do you have a crush on someone, Avery?" Kelly interrogated while holding Trixy's hand and Tommy's with the other. "I'm pretty sure you would have one by now, right?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does!" she fussed, mouth rambling like some crazed enthusiast. If there's one thing I dislike about her, it's this. "---high school is where love blossoms! The start of a sweet, everlasting love!" she dramatically expressed with a complex look on her face. "---you're missing out on the fun, Avery!"
I looked away. "I think you should stop reading those fanfictions. It's getting in your brain."
She pouted, huffing. "That was mean."
I ignored her, then shoved my hands under my pockets as we finally arrived in front of the Martin's porch. Kelly insisted that she'd knock on the door for whatever reasons and the door flings open, a few seconds after she knocked.
Lance stood on the other side, wearing his usual get-up that consists of his signature grey t-shirt and jersey shorts with his hair disheveled from the edges.
His face hardened as he gazes at me, then his eyes shifted towards Kelly, Tommy and Trixy, the three of them grinning. His stern brows and pursed lip softens, the discreet wrinkles on his temple smoothing.
He then turns to look at me.
"Cousins."
"We're inviting you to dinner, mister," Trixy said in her high-pitched tone. "---there will be a lot of food and it will fill your tummy so much you'd explode! Then sprinkles and candies would come out of your stomach."
"You heard her."
"Alright. Noted," he replied. "---we'll be there."
"I forgot," I chimed in before he could turn his back at us and close to the door.
"--these are my cousins : Kelly."
"Sup."
"Trixy."
"Hello! I can read the ABC's now!"
"Tommy."
"You look like a very cool dude. Do you play games?"
"Well I'm Lance," he says aloud after a brief introduction. "---nice to meet you all."
"See you later then," he curtly replies, waving a hand up before closing the door shut, leaving us standing on his front porch.
"So where are we going now?" Kelly inquired. "---where are the cute guys? I mean that Lance guy is cute, but he's a bit young for me."
"The Beckett's," I murmured with a strain on my tone. If anything, it's making my stomach churn—like that nagging feeling you get when you're nervous.
Choosing to act fine, I brushed off the weird thoughts in my head and collected myself, crossing the street across to the house where that guy resides in.