Chapter Forty-nine: I'm Forever Be With Thee
[Quezon City, Philippines, Aug. 2015]
It was already 10:30 a.m. when Caleb woke up, very unusual of him to wake up at a very late hour. He's an early riser.
Maybe he's too tired of what you both did yesternight. He's hot and wild.
Yes, he must be very tired.
He woke up having to severe youe headache. Maybe he's not used to a hot climate anymore then suddenly the rain will pour heavily. It is very unpredictable weather.
You massage his temples down to his back.
"I love you, Cher," he said.
"I love you too, Caleb," you replied.
"Are you pregnant now?" He asked.
You tap his back and laughed, "why the rush? We just had sex last night, and last night. It's too early."
"I want to have a baby now."
You stopped massaging him. " Why in a hurry? We all have the time in the world."
'Keep on massaging, Cher, please."
"We can travel the world for a year even without working. Don't you want to enjoy our hot and wild nights?"
"Of course, I want. Not just on nights. If you want, we will do it three times a day."
"You silly! You're having a headache, can't you see."
"It will fade later. I think I got too wild on the last two nights."
"Haha. You should take our moments slowly. As I said, we all have the time in the world. It's our honeymoon. No one will disturb us."
Your cellphone suddenly rings, and Claudia is calling.
"Yeah, right. No one will disturb us." Caleb said sarcastically.
You took Claudia's call.
[Yes, Mom. Is there something wrong?]
You can hear Leily's crying so that's probably the 'something wrong'.
[I'm sorry, sweet munchkin. I know you're in the middle of your hickey-making moment but Leily is crying.]
[What happened, Mom?]
[Her cat, Caliy died. She can't get over with her. She keeps on calling Caleb's name.]
[Alright, Mom. I'll give the line to Caleb.]
Caleb spoke to Leily and hush her.
[Stop crying Leily. She's in a better place now. I'll get you another
Caliy when we come back.]
[No, Daddy. Caliy is irreplaceable. She's my only Caliy. No one can take her place. I want her. I want only her. Please, ask God to bring her to life. I miss her so much. ]
[Leily, many things don't go as planned. Like loved ones passing. But part of them will always be in our hearts. Caliy is now in your heart, so don't be sad, ok?]
Leily stopped crying. She probably understands. She knows that there's nothing she can do anymore.
[Daddy, give me another Caliy, huh, I want now a black not so fluffy cat when you come back home.]
[Yes, sunshine. I will. I love you.]
[I love you too, Daddy. I love you too, Momma. Come back safe and fast.]
Claudia cut off the line after you talk.
"Are you alright now, Caleb?" You asked.
"Yes, I told you it will fade."
"Maybe you're hungry now, that's why."
"Let's take a bath together before we eat." He said casually.
"Then?" You asked shyly.
"Then dress up, go to a buffet, and eat. What, there's something you want to do?"
You want to squish his tricep, he's really teasing you.
"Alright, you said, dress up, go to a buffet, and eat. Those.are the only things you say, huh. Nothing more--"
"Of course, we will cuddle, we'll kiss, and you know--"
"We will cuddle, kiss, and I know? "
You want to annoy him too and get even with his banter.
"Yeah, c''mon, I'll show you what you know." He carries you.
He's so strong, he can carry you with so much ease. "Caleb!" You shouted. "Put me down."
Then he threw you to the bed and he went on your top. You can't move, he's compressing your arms for you not to move.
He tickles you on the side, in the ears, and neck. Little do you know that Caleb has this playful side.
You wish you'll be this happy for the rest of your lives.
~~~~~~~~
Since you were back here in the Philippines, you visited Maki in his house.
You keep on knocking on the door but no one is opening it. Maybe Maki is working.
But you have a spare key since you have lived here for many years.
You went to your room, it's a mess. Maki can't maintain the entire house since he's living alone.
You saw your old laptop on the top of your study table.
"Caleb, look at this. I remember the first time you message me on FB. That really was life-saving."
"So, this is where you talk to me every night." He said while switching on the device.
He browses the history of what you were searching on the web. He smiled as he read the list. Mostly Caleb Malik and Caleb Coronel until he browse deeper and found what you were telling him 'painless suicide'.
He suddenly hugged you. " Don't you ever think of suicide again. Life is beautiful."
"Hey, are you Nihilist?" You asked with sarcasm.
When you first exchanged messages, him, as Nihilist, was so pessimistic about life.
"Promise me, you will live longer. For Leily and Miles." He said in a sad tone.
"Yes. And of course, for you."
It's so unusual of him. He's suddenly becoming emotional lately.
He's taking his emotions to the extreme. Sometimes, he's too dramatic, sometimes too playful.
Nonetheless, you love him either way he exudes his emotions.
You noticed your notebook. "Hey, Caleb look at this."
"What's that?"
"My notebook!" You exclaimed.
"Yeah, I can see."
"This is where I write my first novel. Yeah, I almost forgot about it. Thank goodness, I found it."
"May I read it?"
"Ah not yet. Because it's still incomplete. You know, I thought I could never find an inspiration to continue this."
"Oh, very nice. What is it all about? Was it about a cheating partner that you're talking about?"
"Yeah, you still remember that?"
"Of course... Then, it's about Maki?"
"Kind of "
"Kind of?" He's so confused.
"It's about a beautiful, hot, lovely girl, who has an unfaithful partner then instead of taking revenge, she just made herself successful. Until a handsome, hottie guy came to the rescue. Well, a cliche. the plot, I admit. It was passionately crafted. So, I must be proud of it."
"Oh, I see. Isn't it too obvious that that handsome, hottie guy who came to the rescue was no other than me? It's me right? You described me well."
"Well, if you will say that that beautiful, hot, lovely girl is me."
"Where's the hot part? I cannot see." He looked at you as if searching for something that wasn't there.
He's so good at bantering, that sometimes you want to choke his neck.
He noticed that you're now annoyed so he cuddles you. He knows that cuddle makes you weak.
His cuddle turned deeper. It's getting rough. His hands starting to roam your body.
He's getting hot again. He wore off his shirt and yours too.
The door opened and the three of you were startled at that scene.
"Cher, Caleb. Why are you here? Besides that, you are celebrating your honeymoon on my bed."
Caleb immediately wears his shirt and you wear yours.
"I'm sorry, if you find us in this situation --"
"It's alright, but why are you here? You didn't notify me so I could have prepared you food."
"Ah, we're good. Don't bother to prepare us any. We just want to visit you. Since our hotel is nearby." Caleb explained.
You get up from bed and grab Caleb's hand.
"Let's go downstairs. There, we talk. "
You put your notebook inside your bag.
You had a good talk with Maki. You learned that he is living alone. Because Candice ran off with his boyfriend.
"Why don't you go with us to Japan, and settle down there?" Offered Caleb sincerely.
"No, thanks. I don't think I can stand seeing you being happy together. You will just slap me in my face every day my regrets."
Fine, you understand. It would be so awkward.
~~~~~~~~~
Before you go to sleep, Caleb said that he read a poem before.
It was beautifully written and a very sad poem. It was the poem of a famous poetess named, Christina Rossetti.
And the poem goes something like this; when she dies, do not sing a sad song for her. Do not give her flowers because she will not hear and see all of them.
And Caleb talks a lot about the sadness of life, the book he read, the enchanting Victorian painting he saw. A lot of stuff.
"Because of those, I was inspired to write a poem. And there is a special poem that I made. For me, it was a masterpiece."
"What was that? That Bitterness to Forgiveness? Yeah, it's a bit sad and inspiring."
"No, it's not. It was something else. Don't worry, I'll write it down and someday you will read it."
~~~~~~~~~~
After reminiscing around Quezon City, the next destination is Coron, Palawan. It's enlisted on your wishlist along with Batanes, and Baguio because you've never been into these places nor Caleb, except for Palawan.
Your honeymoon lasted for a month. Since touring in the Philippines is less expensive than other tourist destinations, you traveled around the world. This time, with Leily.
A year-round honeymoon around the world is a dream come true.
[Sendai, Japan, 2017-2018]
When you returned to Japan, you always see Caleb massaging his temples and his nape.
Sometimes he's complaining of a headache. Maybe it's because of his eyes.
His eyesight is getting blurry and he needs to change his eyeglasses.
But months had passed his headache is getting intense and he was complaining of severe headaches.
You told him that you will accompany him to his doctor to check him up.
But he keeps on insisting that it's just due to stress and overfatigued because his work is exhausting.
You told him to quit his work, he doesn't have to work that hard. And you have a stable business income that could suffice everyday needs.
But he doesn't want to quit his job because this is the least thing that he could do for his father's company.
And another thing, he is saving for your grand church wedding that will be on the 18th of April next year.
"Fine, if you want to continue your job then you should go to the doctor. I'll go with you."
Good thing, he agreed.
A lot of tests were done; physical, cognitive, diagnostic test, and whatever test there is.
Every result is normal. The doctor advised him to take it easy. Have a healthy lifestyle, things alike.
He had to give him vitamins and sleeping pills if he must intake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hubby, your birthday is drawing near, what do you want for your birthday?" You asked.
He can buy anything he wants, you have no idea what does he lacking?
"A longer life."
"Caleb, you're giving me goosebumps. Except for longer life. Of course, I mean material things."
"I can't think of any. You know I'm a simple guy. I'm not flashy. That's all I could think of, the longevity of life so that I can still see Leily and Miles grow up."
"Well, I'm sure you can see Leily grow up bit Miles... What if there are no Miles I could give you?"
"Have faith. Miles is on the way. We're making him almost every day."
"That's it, it's been two years, hubby yet there's still no baby."
"Just wait, Cher. Miles is worth waiting for."
~~~~~~~~~
[Sendai, Japan, Dec. 31, 2017 - Jan. 1, 2018]
After the booms and baams of the fireworks for the New Year's celebration, it's time to sleep.
The atmosphere suddenly filled with unusual tranquility. Everything seems so serene.
"Wife," Caleb said while holding your hand when you were lying on the bed.
"I wrote a poem just for you."
You listen to him carefully and silently.
After he recited his poem and tears suddenly flow from your eyes.
It's beautiful and sad.
Early in the morning, you woke up but Caleb is still asleep.
He never woke up.
You called his doctor and when he checked on Caleb, he was declared dead.
You called Raj and Marga to tell them the bad news and they immediately arrived.
The doctor said he died of an aneurysm.
He spoke about medical terminologies and again, all he said could not penetrate your mind.
~~~~~~~~~
[Sendai, Japan, April 17, 2018]
Caleb's remains were cremated and put in an urn just like your father's.
You were keeping in the storage the things of Caleb when you noticed your notebook where you wrote your supposed to be the first novel. it is a 'forever -working -in-progress novel. And you don't know if you have the strength to finish it.
You flip through each page and at the end of your unfinished story, it is a poem. But it wasn't your handwriting, it was Caleb's.
[I'm Forever Be With Thee
In your life comes so many uncertainties,
You don't know what tomorrow may be.
Whether a day to live in or night to die in.
You're unsure if there's laughter or a cryin'.
But one thing is for sure, I love you so.
And my heart wants you to know,
That I'm here, forever be with you,
To comfort you and to love you through.
Though the night is dark and it seems
Light didn't shine when it should have been.
I'm your Caleb and forever I will be.
I love you throughout eternity.
But if the time comes that my life on earth ceased,
Don't worry my beloved, be at peace.
For my heart's love is not just for a fleeting breath.
It will go with you though I've no heartbeat left.
My Wife, I love you, so, I'm holding your hand.
I'll hold it till we come to the Land Beyond.
And before we reach the prize of eternity,
Please, stay loving me
-Caleb.]
This is the poem Caleb recited on the day of his birthday. The day he died.
You can't accept the reality that Caleb is now gone. You hardly sleep and eat. You hardly move.
You've felt a lot of irregularities in your bodies. You're being paranoid. A lot of overthinking going on in your mind.
What if, this feeling is a symptom of cancer? Your mother died of cancer.
You remember Caleb's birthday wish, 'live longer' for Leily and Miles. So, you decided to go to the doctor.
"Miles. I'm sorry, Caleb. There would never have Miles anymore."
~~~~~~~~~
a/n thank you po for reading. i love you. tips po sana. wag mo po zana ako bigyan ng 1,2,3,4, na star kung di na natuwa sa story ko. 4 na araw ako wala tulog nito derecho. thank you