Special Chapter: Caleb Loves
[Sendai, Japan, Jan. 1, 2018]
I love, Cher.
Ever since I could remember, I love her.
She's the second most beautiful woman that my eyes had seen. First was my mother.
When we were young, I find her so cute. I thought she was my sister because we live in the same house, we sleep in the same room, and we take a bath together. We were so innocent back then. Never knew what love is.
When I am three years old, that was the farthest memory I could remember of.
We were raised in Corner Lights Cabaret where I thought it was a mad place, a mad world.
Because of that place, Cher and I became an outcast. Neighbors don't let their children play with us, we 'children of whores'. I knew then, that something was not right.
Cher and I were different children. We don't have fathers like our neighbors.
Are we still considered a family? As I know, a family is consist of a father, mother, and children.
I see their fathers leaving their houses early in the morning, they dressed up respectively according to the nature of their work. Then returning home in the afternoon or night.
Every 15th and 30th of the month some of them carry plastic bags loaded with food; fruits, roasted chicken, or sweets. Sometimes what they bring home are toys.
I asked my Mama why Papa was never out for work? Never return home with food or toys. Where is Papa by the way?
She just said that Papa Raj's work is in India. He cannot go home because India is quite a far place. He needs an airplane just to go home but he will come back home someday, she always assures me.
I asked her why he works in India if it's a far place? There is a lot of work here.
She said that before I was born, he is already working there because he is an Indian.
I hate to say it but I hate India. Because of India, I don't have a father.
The kids in my neighborhood tease me with 'Bumbay'. I don't know why they are making fun of me. Being an Indian, was it bad?
I looked in the mirror, I immediately noticed my big eyes. I hate to look at them.
Mama said I looked like my Dad, so he's responsible for my looks. He's the reason why I am different.
"You're handsome! Look at your nose it's perfect. Your height, you're the tallest of them all. Your complexions embodied a manly feature. I tell you, someday you'll thank your Papa for your looks."
That's what she said and I have faith in her. Yeah, she was right. Someday I will thank my father because he gave me fine genes.
"Yes, buddy, you have the most beautiful eyes. Look at mine, it's small and round. It's confusing."
Cher said to me while making her eyes big. Since she's half Japanese and one-fourth German and Filipino, her eyes are a mixture of those races.
Cher is so lovely, her eyes were always smiling. I don't know why she's always happy and cheery unlike me.
She has no father too. Like Papa Raj, her oto-san Taro is working in Japan.
She always mentions to me that Japan is beautiful, it is clean, and the woman dresses so fine. They have cute wooden slippers and cute umbrellas. They also have pink trees.
She giggles as she is describing to me what Japan looks like as if she has already been there.
"Trees with pink leaves, maybe that's what you meant."
"It's the same, buddy. It's still trees. It's called cherry blossom trees. And I have one in Japan, I'll show it to you someday."
"Ok, and I will take you to India to the Taj Mahal and will meet Aladdin," I said because that was all I know about India and I wasn't even sure about Aladdin.
One day, I heard Aunt Dina and Mama talking angrily. They were raising their voices. This is the first time I have seen my Mama acting like that.
I knew then that my Papa Raj is wealthy and he already left us. Also, Cher's father is a Japanese rich old man.
Then they had a physical fight. I never thought Mama would act like that, she's always gentle, so calm, and so quiet. She's a fine lady, far way good-looking than your neighbors' mothers.
Maybe that means, there are times that you have to fight because there are things and someone worth fighting for.
So, when Maki arrived, he was not spared from judgmental society though he is rich, came from the UK, and was a handsome boy. But because his parents' business is a cabaret, he's also ridiculed along with me and Cher.
I'm fed up with these mean kids, I punch them on their faces when one of them tried to punch Maki.
For the first time in Cher's and my life, we found a true friend, who knew our struggles and sympathizes because we three, somehow shared the same plight.
When Maki left for the UK, Cher and I left. We established this strong bond. We are together, 24/7 even as we sleep.
We were in the fourth grade then, I wasn't sure though, Cher looked at me thoroughly. She's looking at my eyes, my nose, my hair, my jaw. I don't know what's running in her mind at that moment. I became conscious of my looks since then.
I told her earlier that she should wear baggy shirts and pajamas as sleepwear. Her clothes are too small for her, she's starting to get curves and they were lovely to look upon.
Then I started to think about the future, Cher eventually and gradually will become a lady, her chest, hips, and waist will be curvier, will you still sleep together?
I shook off the perverted thoughts in my mind. I'm so young but not so innocent.
I just live nearby the cabaret. Sometimes, I accidentally see partners kissing and making out. I wonder why are they doing that, it's disgusting. But they seem so satisfied and ecstatic, maybe someday I'll understand.
When I was in the fifth grade, I had this seatmate, Kara. She's the third most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
She acts like my Mama, so sweet, so finesse, and so kind. It's a pleasure to speak with her.
I noticed since Kara came, that Cher is always mad at me. We don't know what this crush thingy is, but maybe that's what we are feeling back then.
We were infatuated with each other and before we could admit it to each other, Maki returned to the Philippines and he stole my Cher since then.
There's nothing I could do, I'm no match to him. That's why I studied harder and harder each day just to excel and will be successful in life so when I confess to Cher, I already am one proud man.
But really, things don't go as planned. Papa Raj returned when I had almost forgotten about him when I was almost on the brink of letting go of my hope that someday he will return.
I've been silently waiting for him all my life and when he returns, I forgot what will happen then... What kind of life lies ahead of us?
I have to leave Cher behind. Indeed, a mad world.
I still can remember, my last days with Cher, we were looking through the vast starry sky.
The singing of the cicadas was different than usual, they sounded like misery in the middle of the serene midnight.
Cher and I talked. Even without asking me, I know that she's dying to know what will happen next.
The midnight breeze signals a romantic way to confess but what for? She already has a forced boyfriend.
After I promised to find her missing piece, I've become myself her missing piece.
For now, I'll be leaving her in Maki's care. Not knowing that this will make our lives most complicated.
I didn't know that we'll be fighting over Cher to this great extent. That he will choose his love for her over our friendship.
One day, he texted me that they are now happy and serious about their relationship so, I should not bother to text him anymore or in the future.
That's the only contact we have. Neither Mama doesn't want to have any connections with them until we haven't settled our problems regarding our relatives.
Fine, though it hurts like hell, not to have any connections with Cher. But I'm still determined to find her father because that is my promise, my vow, my pledge.
I had a hard time finding Mr. Takumi. Juggling my studies, hiding from the Maliks of India, and traveling around the world because of my father's company.
After graduating from college, I decided to be an instructor, and because of hard work, and credentials, I got promoted.
My time for finding Mr. Takumi has been harder for me.
Especially, when Sakura, my student got me depressed.
Sometimes I regret being kind, people of the greedy heart take advantage of you.
Like Sakura, she misunderstood my kindness. She thought that I am into her.
"You don't know how many girls I rid off who get in my way, and that Cher, she's next," she told me after setting me up to ruin my reputation so I will be forced to leave my work and locked me up on her house. Yeah, she's a psychopath.
"Sometimes being handsome is a curse," Mama told me after Papa fixed my problems regarding Sakura.
I told her that I'm chatting with Cher but I can't find the courage to reveal that the Nihilist she was chatting with is none other than her childhood best friend because I wasn't able to find Mr. Takumi.
Mama told me to introduce myself to Cher. "You're friends anyway. So, what if you can't find Taro? There is a limit to human powers."
"Mama, by the way, Aunt Mikee died because of lung cancer."
She wept bitterly for the passing of her best friend. She wants me now to reveal my real identity to Cher.
"Why not? Cher would be pleased to see you--"
She paused and think deeply. "Is she already married?"
"She has a daughter with Maki. Their relationship is on the rocks. I don't want to creep in, Mama, please understand."
"I can't. Unless you tell me everything. I'm your Mama Caleb, don't keep secrets from me. Though I already know some of..."
"She's the only woman I want."
"I knew that already, even when you were young. Mikee, Claudia, and I knew what was going on with the three of you. Since we arrived here in Japan, you never set eyes on women. Besides that, you're still young, and I don't want to meddle with your love life. I don't want you to experience what your Papa and I went through because of the meddling of your grannies."
If there's one good thing that happened because of that incident with Sakura, I was able to meet. Attorney Nobi, Mr. Takumi's lawyer.
Maybe a divine intervention has happened that I wasn't able to comprehend and explain the miracle of how we met for me to finally find Cher's missing piece at the right time.
Cher's FB post becoming sadder each day. It's frustrating that I could not cheer her up, and love her silently. What a coward man I am.
But when I knew, through Owen how Maki treats Cher. I can no longer hold my peace.
Especially, when she sent me a poem of confession.
I told her, who she truly loves is Caleb and not Nihilist.
Of course, I want her to confirm it. It's always been my earnest desire to know that she never stops loving me all through the years of my absence.
[Will you go away and stop chatting with me if I say, yes I'm in love with Caleb? I wish you were him.]
My heart is filled with happiness when she said she was in love with me.
That's it...
I decided to meet her in Sendai on April 18.
I got even more determined when I learned from Owen that Maki and Cher got physical over the issue of Cher flying to Japan.
Owen even sent me a copy of the restraining order and pictures of Cher with a bleeding head.
I'm so furious with Maki, how could he do that? I regret that I left Cher in his care.
He's abusing her emotionally and mentally, and striking her with his hand is too much.
Maybe I should give him a lesson. He cannot see what monster he has become. He will never realize how much pain felt until he feels it by himself.
I instructed Owen what to do; he must hire a con artist to pretend and seduce Candice so she will dump Maki.
Easy-peasy for Owen especially, Caleb has all the resources.
Since Candice doesn't know what commitment is, and how obnoxious she is, it's easy to take the bait.
I don't know what happened to them since then, I could not care less.
I sent Cher a birthday present for Leily; a dress and coat.
If only I could send it to her personally, I couldn't imagine Cher's face because of happiness. I've prepared her all the documents she needed and Leily's with the assistance of Owen and Kara.

Finally, she's going to Sendai to see her roots, pursue her dreams, and meet me.
I'm excited too.
Especially, when I indirectly told her that I am Caleb, the man who fulfilled his promise.
I found her missing piece.
So, when she got to Sendai. A tremendous amount of nervousness and excitement I felt when finally I could show her her own cherry blossom tree she was talking about when we were young but it's the other way around, I am the one who showed her her cherry blossom tree.
It's now dark but the fireflies lit the atmosphere, she's looking into my eyes when the cold wind blew and the leaves have fallen, the timing is right, I kiss her.
She will never get mad if I kissed her, right?
So, this is the feeling of the first kiss. It's unexplainably wonderful.
Another wonderful feeling is when I heard Leily calling me 'Dada'.
I lifted her in my arms, she was so tiny. He held onto my nape and slept.
How could Maki tear this beautiful family apart?
Don't worry Cher, every single pain that Maki inflicted on you, I will replace it with joy.
And every sad childhood memory we had, I will replace it with tears...tears of joy.
But I couldn't just do it right away, she's still mourning the passing of her father.
At least she was able to see and hug his father before he left the earth.
All I can do to appease her lamenting heart is simply stayed by her side.
So when the season of mourning has passed, Cher needs to lighten up her heart, it's not forever of mourning and sadness.
Life is still beautiful to live in.
So, as long as we're living, I'll make the best out of it.
I started with Tokyo Tower. Touring Tokyo is incomplete without going to this famous tower.
After that, it a supposed to be a wild hot night with her but how could we?
We're both virgins. Well, I'm literally while she,
I've waited for her my entire life, what's a year or two of waiting for the right time?
For now, we'll enjoy Japan. It's been a while since the last time I went to the mall, I'm avoiding this place. It's so sad for me because it's a constant reminder of how poor we were back then.
How a simple token for a child's play we couldn't afford. Cher has to skip a meal just to play claw machine. She badly wants a big Teddy Bear.
Our eyes were full of envy when we walk down the path of restaurants side by side that we cannot walk in.
But now, we're both able to eat not just in McDonald's, but in McDonald's all over the world, and we can buy our own if we want.
Now that Cher is a legal Takumi and has inherited from his father a lot of fortune that is sufficient for her entire life.
Yeah, we can't imagine how far we've come.
It's not only me who's trying to replace sad memories, Cher also does the same for me.
'The rubber shoe memory'. For me, it was the saddest. Playing with a broken shoe, blisters on my feet, a Cher who will marry Leonardo DiCaprio just to buy me a pair of shoes, and a brand new father. That's so sad. Nobody will marry her... But me.
But of course, before I could marry her, I should confess my love for her.
I know, it's one of her dreams that was written on her wishlist.
I was nervous as hell as I was confessing to her.
Our first exchange of 'I love you's. It has never been long overdue, never too late, and forever on the date.
I thank Cher for appreciating me, when, I, myself hate the way I look. You know, being bullied because of your looks is one of the childhood traumas.
I'm glad that I was able to read Cher's diary. Well, it's just an accident. Our house is so small, we don't have a storage room or cabinets to put on our things.
I didn't know that I'm as handsome as they always say that I am until I read it in her diary.
It states there that the kids of our age bully me because they are just envious. I'm the tallest among the 3-feet-kids of my age. My nose is pointed while them, disappointed. Well, I don't know if she's joking or that's what she really knows the antonym of pointed.
Then about my eyes, I'm sure she's serious about them. I always see her looking into my eyes. I don't know what she's seeing on it or why she loves them so much. Another is my haircut, that's why I seldom cut my hair. I love them just like Cher loves them.
I enjoy reading her diary, I don't have to read a pocketbook if I want a feel-good story because what she had written there was enough to make me feel good and it boost my self-esteem.
She often writes positives about me, how she admires my talents, she wishes that I'll make a portrait of her.
She also wrote how Kara irritates her because she's talking to me at the same time, she's guilty because Kara is a nice girl.
She also wrote how she envied her because she's rich and has a kind father.
I don't care if people don't like my physical appearance as long as Cher appreciates me, the hell do I care with people who have no business in my life.
She also wrote about Maki--
(To be continued)