Special Chapter: Maki Regrets
Author's note:
The last succeeding chapters will be written in 1st person POV. I hope you won't be confused. Again, I apologize for wrong grammar, loopholes, and misinformation, most especially for my lame writing. Happy reading.
Maki's POV
I was five years old back then when my Dad and I traveled to the Philippines. It's my mom's hometown.
Besides the fact that we will be traveling by plane, of course, seeing my mom again gave me the most exciting feeling ever.
The Philippines is a nice country with lovely people but I was shocked when I saw their shanty houses. How could a family live there?
The dirty street children without clothes to put on their thin physiques, begging for a dime, it's pitiful.
Am I going to enjoy my vacation here in the Philippines? Am I going to play with children like them? That was really my concern.
So, when I first saw this cute little girl named, Cher, I smiled at her. Though she looks obviously poor, at least she's pretty. If I were to be asked, she's the prettiest girl I have ever seen thus far.
She has shiny golden brown hair that was tied up. Her eyes are not so round yet not so small, it's somewhere in between.
Amongst the children of my age that I have seen here, she's the fairest.
Her nose is not flat like others. Her lips are reddish, like Snow White. To sum it up, she looks like a rugged Victorian porcelain doll.
Across where she sat, sat a quiet boy with sad big eyes but they match his face. He's cute too. He's so quiet and behaved. His name is Caleb.
We went to the mall with my parents and since then, the three of us became the best of friends.
We play hide and seek but in my place, because our house is huge and their house is so small, there's nothing to hide on. 'Piko' is a Filipino version of hopscotch but a more complicated one. They taught me how to play text, which is a card game.
My three months of vacation in the Philippines is bliss because of them.
I left them with a friendship bracelet and till now when we were in our late 20s, I saw it in Caleb's treasure box.
There was a time that Caleb and I got into a fight.
Our enemy will punch me but Caleb got it for me. And then he smashed the face of that kid.
I admire Caleb for being kind and courageous.
When Dad and I went back to the UK, I thought that we will never get back to the Philippines again. Because it's been five years since we ever had a vacation.
Until finally, Dad decided to come back to the Philippines and settle down here because our properties in the UK were being sold and Dad use that for businesses in the Philippines. So that we could be with Mom.
I was in the sixth grade when I saw Cher and Caleb again because they were my classmates.
I was quite popular not just with girls but with everyone including the teachers because of my foreign facial features, my blue eyes, and strong British accent that they love to hear though they're having a hard time understanding it.
Only Paul, our not-so-cute classmate wasn't happy to see me. Because he likes Cher. He even confessed to her at our graduation. And I hate him for that.
Cher is only mine so, I told him that she is already my girlfriend, so back off. Good thing, Paul believed. And Caleb, his soulful eyes became even sadder.
Even Caleb whom I know secretly into her did not have the courage to confess though he has a lot of advantages became they were living in the same house. He really is a gentleman. No wonder why Cher loves her so much.
One time we had a fistfight because I'm jealous. I also caught my Dad having another woman. I divert my grudge toward Caleb.
I know that Cher likes him. She even wants to follow him in Quezon High because she wants to be
always by his side. I heard that when she thought that I wasn't listening.
So, when Caleb's father finally appeared to take them with him, I was secretly happy. Yes, there's sadness because the three of us have been best friends but I am more on the happy side.
But seeing Cher sad and lonely because of him brings me so much pain. I'm the one who's beside her but her heart is far from me.
She even wears Caleb's shirt, but she never wears mine.
We're in a relationship that only I know. She just go on with the flow but she never had feelings for me because I know in her heart, that it will always be her best friend Caleb.
Until she had this stepbrother named Owen. I can sense that he likes Cher too. Plus the fact that he resembles Caleb a lot in many ways most especially they both have soulful eyes that I hate to look upon, makes me feel sad. That's why it puzzles me why Cher loves looking at them. Mine eyes are blue much love to look at them but why Cher, Why did she choose those sad eyes over my blue eyes that are like a peaceful ocean?
Cher had a lot going on in her life, Aunt Mikee got a terminal sickness. Her stepfather ran away with his legit wife and left a big amount of debt.
She barely notices me. I'm trying my best to understand and support her but her heart is far from me. That's why I intentionally made her jealous by finding another girl whom I can flirt with. I thought she will be extremely jealous and we will have this lovers' quarrel but she couldn't care less.
But Instead of making things right, it worsens our relationship. I even break up with her. Because there's no point in being in a one-sided relationship. I'm just fooling myself.
I told her that she could come back to me when she finally realized that it is me. She loves.
But she never came back. Even if I told her that I'm still waiting for her but she said that she was waiting too.
Waiting for Caleb.
I know she can't move on with Caleb. Though she doesn't say it, I know that she blames me for not saying goodbye to Caleb when they flew to Japan. I know, for her, there's nothing to celebrate about my birthday because that's the time Caleb left.
I can feel how she is longing for Caleb. How she misses him. How she wish that I was Caleb. She even called me Caleb. I know that it's hard to get rid of things you used to but calling me Caleb is hurtful.
When she became a singer for the Corner Lights, she sang his favorite songs of him. She even cried in the middle of her performance. Why can't she love me like she loves Caleb?
Finally, she needed me and there's one thing that I made her fall for me.
It was then that she tried to be a stripper. She was so hot and sexy in her lingerie. Though I was tempted by her wild presence, I want to watch her tease me but no, she's just mine. I won't allow anyone especially perverts to feast their eyes on her body.
Her body is precious to me. I am the only man who has the right to lust on her.
Yeah, I was extremely mad as hell when she went to that stage and sell herself. She doesn't have to, because I can finance her, only if she asked from me. But she never does. She rather sells her dignity than asking help from me.
If Caleb were only here, she definitely would ask for help from him. But why not from me? She put her full trust in Caleb but never in me.
What made me so mad is the fact that I'd banged a lot of women, make-out, one-night stands, and hookups. Damn, It was the worst of me. I even learned to drink alcohol. I become a drunkard. I surpassed Dad.
I become like that because I'm longing for her love, her affection, her attention, and care. But she treats me as nothing but a rebound. Rebound because the love of her life wasn't by her side and I'm the only available.
I become a womanizer but my girlfriend, I've never touched because I purely love her and genuinely respect her. I did everything I could just to control my lust so she will remain chaste.
That's why I was mad as hell, I didn't touch her but she let other men lust her so before any man could lay a finger on her, I was the first. And no one will come after me.
Yes, I intentionally impregnated her, maybe by that she will forget Caleb and will be focused on me.
Yes, I could feel that since she gave herself to me and became pregnant, I finally felt her whole love. There was no other man but me.
She loves me now with all her heart.
But one day, I accidentally overheard her conversation with her stepbro.
Cher mentioned Caleb. And everything that reminds me of Caleb gives pain within me.
That's why I never appreciate Cher's letters and poetry given to me because I know it's all for Caleb. I never bother reading her sweet-nothings for Caleb.
I felt that myself has changed. So are my feelings for Cher. Especially our baby, Mikael has died and I really blamed her for that.
If she wasn't been too sweet and caring to her stepbrother, I will not get jealous and that incident will never happen.
How I missed my baby Mikael. I've changed for the better because of him. I want to be the greatest father contrary to my Dad. I told myself that I will never be like him.
I even promised Cher that I will be the greatest Dad. I will not hurt her and never make her cry. They will be my top priority.
But all my efforts had come to naught when Mikael died. It felt like that I was building a house but a strong earthquake shook my house and it was brought down. What a waste!
I've done everything I can to be a responsible man. To be loved genuinely by Cher. But all my best wasn't good enough. In Cher's eyes, I am not good enough as Caleb is. I will never be like Caleb.
For her, I am a womanizer, and Caleb is the faithful. Caleb is the smartest, I am the dumb. No matter what I do I will always be the
good-for-nothing douchebag. Because only Caleb is the kindest, only Caleb is the smartest.
I detest my Dad too, because of him, our happy family fell apart. If only he controlled himself from all the temptations, we would never be like this. I hate my Dad but little I do know that I'm becoming like him without me noticing it.
I loved women, I've become addicted to them. I don't settle for one. I want different kinds. But even though I've tasted a lot of them, I still go back to Cher.
She is my obsession that is already mine but I felt that still not enough. I want all of her. And all of her should be all about me.
Mom was not being herself when Dad cheated on her. I don't know her anymore.
I'm glad, that despite that I cheated on Cher, she remains faithful. I mean, she never took revenge on me. She did not follow the example of my mom who become a cougar and thought that her young men were really in love but the truth is they are all after her money and just want to try wild and rough sex with an older woman. I should know.
Cher did not revenge on me by cheating on me too.
That's why I kept on coming back to her because I know, she will forgive me over and over because she doesn't want me to leave her. Because she loves and needs me.
So I guess she can't live without me anymore. Especially when Leily was born. Leily was made out of love. We were in love with each other when we made Leily.
I don't know why but it gives me a satisfying feeling whenever she's crying because of jealousy. Yes, cruel as it seems but I love seeing her crying over me.
I don't care about how I've greatly hurt her feelings. I just want her in my possession regardless of what her state is.
I want her to beg me to stay with her. To beg me to stay away from women.
I'm so thrilled whenever she's investigating me and we fight. It gives me the feeling of dominance. I feel so manly than the Caleb that she loved.
But I think I went overboard. My cheating is getting worst that I can't escape from the woman I'm cheating with.
After Cher gave birth, she changed a lot from physical to emotional and mental aspects. I see her now as the worst woman I've ever seen and met.
She can't even take a bath nor comb her hair. Even though I bought her an expensive perfume like what Candice is wearing, Cher stinks.
Candice smells so good, I love sucking her neck. I wish Cher could be as elegant and sophisticated as Candice is so that I could be proud of her.
How could I be proud of her if she looks and smells like a witch?
Branded clothes and shoes don't suit her, it suits Candice more.
She's too fat, her belly fats are disgusting to look upon.
She's no longer the Cher that I'm obsessed with and lusted after.
If I let her show Candice, maybe she will change herself. She will groom herself, and make herself presentable.
But she didn't. She becomes more negligent, dysfunctional, and emotional. Our relationship is heading nowhere. What we have that connects us together is Leily.
I've never thought that the only woman I loved in my entire life was this weak and her beauty has faded so quickly.
She's far way different from Candice.
Candice is not just beautiful and sophisticated but also a strong and empowered woman.
She can get what she wants and she can throw it whenever she doesn't want it anymore. In a snap.
She's a manipulative woman. She's strong-willed, and a liar.
She's a cheater, an evil, a monster. Witchest of all witches.
Yes, her true ugly character has been revealed every day little by little, by and by.
Cher is right, Candice and I deserved each other. We are both monsters.
Who in the right mind will hurt his love just to satisfy him? Only monsters would.
I know that Cher was so numb to me and my presence doesn't matter to her anymore. Even if I hurt her feelings to the great extent, or love her wholeheartedly, or even propose to her, I know she will just pass through me.
She abhors me. She hates me with all hate there is.
That's why I took Leily from her. Besides that I miss my sweet daughter so much, I want Cher to notice me again.
I know Leily is her world, she is her everything. She continues living just because of Leily.
So I thought, when I took Leily, she will be on her knees begging for me. But I was wrong.
She searched for Caleb Coronel then Caleb Malik then Caleb Coronel Malik, instead. Every possible combination you could come up with just to find Caleb.
Then she's not yet satisfied with my fake account Caleb, she entertained this sweet gay-looking named Paul, our former classmate.
They betrayed me, so what I did was play their games too. That fake Caleb texted her that he wants to see her.
If it's about Caleb, she never doubts. What a fool! That's how desperate she is to meet Caleb once again.
Caleb, Caleb again, I'm so fed up with his name.
She cheated on me too for the second time. She had this Nihilist chatmate with whom she always loves to chat. She confided about her personal problems, what she feels, and how terrible I am as a partner.
And they plan to meet in Sendai, Japan? Delusional.
Was she thinking about Caleb again? Hoping that this 'no-face' chatmate of hers was him.
Good thing that I was able to read their exchange of messages. So, I could prevent it from happening.
But she's too eager to meet this chatmate of hers.
I just grabbed her arm then she slap me real hard.
I just said that she is not going anywhere.
But she threw the lampshade on my face so I got mad. And who wouldn't be?
She attacked me first. So, I pushed her away from me because she was getting aggressive.
She accidentally bumped her head into the corner of the table and her head bleeds.
Mom and Dad immediately went upstairs to see what was happening.
They all look at me as if I'm a criminal. They did not believe in me that it was just an accident.
They accused me of something that I did not do. I may be a cheater, a deceiver but I will never kill Cher or anyone.
Cher keeps on crying to gain their sympathy. Yeah, woman.
Cher used that bump on her head against me to issue a restraining order.
She did that so I could not prevent her from coming to Japan. To freely see this Nihilist that she was dying to meet.
And damnit! She brought Leily with her to Japan.
Where the heck did she get that large amount of money to go to Japan?
Was this Nihilist something to do with it?
Or maybe, finally, her oto-san Taro found her, Mom said Cher's daddy is a Japanese multi-millionaire.
That's a possible reason, that's why she had the heart to leave me
It's been so many months that I have had no news from Leily and Cher, not even from my parents.
Damnit! Really dammit! I think Cher having a great time in Japan. While I was buried in Candice's condominium. She lock me up there with her beloved dog.
She imprisoned me because I was going to leave her and she doesn't want me to go at that moment. She's still enjoying playing with me. So, I should enjoy her also because sooner she will get rid of me
Yeah, she's just seeing and treating me like a toy. At first, playing in the fire is thrilling until that fire is burning you gradually and little by little.
Alarming that it will consume you one day.
Candice doesn't love me. She said that she just wants me because I'm not just good in bed, I'm good looking too and I got a cool swag that can be bragged to her social climber friends who have old fat sugar daddies.
She's a sex maniac, a controlling witch. Yeah, she's scary as hell. She is scarier than your momma.
I rather have Cher than this Candice controlling me, using me. Cher is kind and faithful, her lousy old-maid look can be transformed and improved.
But Candice's character and evil nature will never change.
Candice told me that she was pregnant. I'm happy and very hopeful.
Hope that our baby will change her and will pave the way for her new straight life.
I told her that we should go and tell to her parents that she is pregnant. I will take her and our baby as my responsibility.
But she said, don't bother.
And I asked her why?
She just said, her Dad will be disappointed with her because she got impregnated by a lowly employee such as me. Her Daddy cannot accept a man who has a lower position than his daughter, has no big house of his own, and no millions in the bank.
Oh wow. Never have I been insulted like that in my whole life. If Cher said something bad to me, I know that I deserve it.
But the words she told me slapped the senses out of me.
I told her that our play is over.
She was surprised, she covered her mouth with her hands. "I'm gonna cry! I'm gonna cry!"
Then she just shrugged, and opened the door wide, she couldn't care less. It was a fake cry.
She threw outside all my luggage. "Thank you for being competitive. I enjoy the game."
She was about to close the door but she forgot to say something, "by the way, this is not yours. You're not the only man in the world who got the swag. Merry Christmas, baby." Then she slammed the door in front of my face.
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forgive my writing, naghahabol po ako ng oras para matapos ito kaya no time mag edit at proofread. Thank you.