Sunny
"How are you feeling now?" Shiela asked me.
She visited me instead of going to their practice for cheer dancing today.
"Unlike yesterday, I am feeling better now," I answered. "That rain... I will make sure not to get caught by it again. I hate feeling sick. I kept on vomiting. It does not taste good either." I complained.
Shiela chuckled, "Are you crazy? Why would you even taste your own vomit? You are not supposed to taste it, idiot." She replied.
"Whether you like it or not, when you are vomiting you will taste what it is like." I refuted.
"Let's not talk about it now. We are getting nastier as we keep on talking about that." Shiela said. "Anyway, how about Steven?" She suddenly changed the topic.
"Steven? Oh, he went here last night after your class," I shared. "He brought me these." I continued and pointed at the cooling gel sheet and some apples on the table.
Shiela mouthed an "o" before wriggling her eyebrows at me. "I am really loving this air." She said excitedly. "Can I know what your stand is on this? I absolutely like him for you. He is good at nature, and he is taking care of you. Last night, I told him I could go home alone, but he insisted on sending me home. He said he did not want to be complacent and wanted to make sure that I got home safe," she shared.
"I swear! He is good, and he is better for you!" Shiela said, giggling in her seat.
I know he is good.
We can all say that.
Only blind people can say that he is not good.
"But I am not sure." I admit it. "Don't you think I am taking this fast? I just―"
"No. You deserve it. Why would you think it is not the right time? IT IS THE RIGHT TIME," she interrupted. "Is it still about that damn ex-boyfriend of yours and his ugly girlfriend?" She asked.
I can't answer her back.
Because I know myself that she just pointed out the reason, I am hesitating.
"Oh my gosh, Sunny. We have talked about this already." She said it and sighed disappointedly. "Why would you care about them? Take care of yourself. They are not you and you are not them. It is your own life. Do what you want to do. Decide for yourself." She added, scolding me with her angry tone.
I pouted. "I know, but I am worried if I decide for myself and make Steven suffer, too. Maybe they are right that it is too early for this. That it is not the right time to do it." I reasoned out.
Shiela sighed for the second time. "Let me scare you a little, Sunny." She stated.
I gulped after hearing her.
"Okay, let's say that you will follow them, or yourself, that you will not grab this opportunity because you are worried. We both know that Steven has feelings for you. I am sure you are very aware of that, right?" She asked.
I nodded.
I won't be lying about it.
I can feel Steven's feelings for me, and that is something I can't ignore. We had both held our hands already, and I will not deny that I did not like it.
I feel safe in his hands, and his warmth makes me feel okay and he does not worry about things.
"Then, what if you paused it? Are you sure that Steven will wait a long time? You said already that he just wants to graduate and get his diploma. There is a big possibility that after this year, he will go back home." Shiela said, that got me shocked.
She is right, though.
Steven is here because he wants to graduate and get his diploma. He will almost certainly return to his parents' home.
"Would you be able to be okay with him living away from you and just talking through the phone? Are you sure he can wait for you? There is a possibility that he will meet a lot of girls in their hometown." She added.
"Don't you think it's better to just go for it and have the assurance? I do not know about you. This is just my opinion. " She commented. "Whatever I am spouting here is just for you, and yes, I am forcing this idea on you, because we need to face the reality here." She added.
What Shiela had said was right, too. I can't avoid that. I am still not sure about my feelings about Steven, and I do not want to make a decision that will hurt the both of us, especially him. He already did a lot of things for me. I really appreciated that. Hurting him is the very last thing I intend to do to him.
"Saying that he does not matter to me would sound like I am lying." I started. "I like him. Yes, I do. But I do not think I am over with Jake already. I do not want to use him just because I want to move from Jake."
"Although it's been months since Jake and I ended our relationship, I still think of him and compare him to Steven from time to time. If I ever love again, I want it to be real. I want it because I am free from the past relationship I had." I explained.
If he can wait for me, then I can wait for him too. Even if he went back to their hometown.
"I get what you mean. Steven is a good guy. Let God make a way for both of you. If you guys are each other's destiny, then that's it." Shiela said, defeated. "Whatever your decision is, I will support you and help you as long as I can. As long as it is good, if it's not, count me out." She added.
"As if I would do something bad." I complained.
"Are you guys done talking already? The lunch is ready." I heard Grandma say.
We looked at the door and saw Grandma.
"We will follow you soon, Grandma." Shiela replied excitedly.
Grandma nodded before walking away.
"Come on, you can walk, right?" She asked.
I tapped her hands. "Did you just say I am paralyzed or what? I can still walk, you know?" I defended.
She walked over, and I followed behind her.
"I can smell the wonderful dish already. I missed this!" Shiela exclaimed. "It's been a while since the last time I ate here." She added.
Mom patted Shiela's bum. "You can just crash here to eat. Our door is always open for you." She told Shiela.
Shiela hugged mom and said, "You are the best mom, after my mom." She said. "Did you know, Auntie? Sunny and Steven like each other?" She added something that made me stop smiling.
I nervously turned my head to Grandma and Mom.
"We already expected that." Grandma said as she sat in the chair, which made me gape.
Mom nodded, as she guided Shiela to sit down as well. "Fei already predicted that. Their closeness is different. Steven is a good guy. I think I will let Sunny be with him." Mom added.
"Right, Grandma and Auntie. That's why I let them be close. I know they will look good together! Steven is much better than Jake." Shiela commented.
"C-can we talk about something different? It's making me uncomfortable." I told them. "I am still sick, guys. Hope you are not forgetting about it." I added.