Had been staring at him without blinking since Mr. Alistair, the mathematics teacher, was in the class teaching us how to plot a graph. I mean am gazing at my crush, not at the ugly teacher I first encountered in this school. I don’t know his name yet, but he was among the A4 group who had caught me staring at them yesterday. All I heard since Mr. Alistair entered the class was, “did you understand?” And I don’t reply, because he won’t know if I don’t speak, for many students were in the class answering him together.
My crush flipped a pen in his hand and jot something down on his notebook, and I wish I should be his notebook which he would touch all days; all nights.
I imagined my mom telling me, “instead of you focusing on your education, you are loving. That’s bad.” Her voice scolded me in my mind as if it was real, but I ignored it because I can’t help but love this Prince of Angels. I knew my mom’s behavior, and I knew what she can say in this situation, but she wasn’t with me calmed me to continue staring at his pen dancing over his notebook.
Jean concentrated without noticing my head had drifted away to another side. She’s nice. I would ask her to teach me about plotting a graph later.
I remember Jean warned me not to mess with the A4 and C2 group, but I can’t help but stare at his face, and I don’t think staring at someone was a sin.
I raised my eyebrows as he turned his head as if he noticed someone staring at him, but as a perfect girl, I disguised and look straight at the teacher drawing a vertical line on the board. I stared at him again when my crush focused on his notebook; the pencil was dancing in his fingers now.
But this time, I was gone, imagining his face. Everything went silent as his face appeared in the theater of my mind. His face sang heaven to my waiting ears. I envisioned myself holding his hands amid the snow; he smiled and as if it was contagious, I smiled, too. Jean pulled me out of the dream as she tapped my shoulder saying, “are you feeling ill today?”
“No,” I said
“You don’t sleep last night?”
I shrugged my shoulder, covering my mouth as I yawned. “No.”
“Why are you sleeping?”
Her questions irritate me, for she was disturbing and delaying me from being inside my dreamland. I once heard from someone that if you fall in love, you are in trouble, but I don’t think so. Loving him had freed me to another town; another world different from my own. How sweet would it be if he just stay there with me?
After the mathematics teacher was gone, Jean tapped my shoulder and asked me what am I thinking as she was surprised opening blank pages in my notebook. Should I tell her the truth after her several warnings? I’m loving him, Jean, I thought. “I don’t feel like, you know, write today,” I finally told her.
Swiftly, I noticed my crush book fell on the floor and I hurried to pick it up. Looking at his notebook cover, I read his name was Harry Torres.
“Annie, what are you doing?” Jean shouted, but I ignored her.
Harry looked at me, and I swiftly wore the countenance of a smile. I don’t expect what he did next, and I know you won’t too.
Harry slapped me five times, booming, “how dare you to touch my book?”
Now I believe the quotes, “if you fall in love you are in trouble.”
A guy hurried here, pounced Harry down on the floor. Everyone was scared; everyone gets up. Harry wiped the blood off her pink lips and gave his men a sign not to fight. He got up, pounced on the man’s stomach, and the guy did the same.
“Why should you abuse a girl like that?” The guy asked,
“How many times did I tell you to always mind your business?” Harry rose, pounced on his face.
Amid the fight, Jean held my hands and told me to follow her out.
“Didn’t I warn you?” Jean was saying now under the trees swirling cool breeze to seethe the pain on my cheeks. “God, why did you start what you can’t finish?”
“I want to help him.” My voices quivered as my heart race miles.
“Must you help him?”
I shrugged my shoulder. “You can’t understand.”
“Whatever,” Jean said, “do you know the guy that defends you?”
“Who was him?”
“Charles, one of the C2 group?”
I widened my mouth.
“You see.” Jean sighed, sat on the long bench.
“Why did he help me?”
“They don’t love each other, and he didn’t help you for your good. He found this a great opportunity to attack Harry. Charles and Brian hate the A4 group. Oh God, but I warn you, Annie,” she said.
“I’m in trouble,” I said
“Yes, in big trouble, but don’t panic too much. You don’t ask for Charles’s bits of help, but -“ She broke off, bent her head. “I don’t know what to say again. This is big trouble.”
At home today, my mother and younger brother were puzzled because of my behavior. They expected me to tell them everything, but after I ate little, I go into my room and locked the door, thinking about everything.
The school board gave Harry and Charles to trim the flowers in the school compound for their punishment. Jean told me she saw blood was on Harry’s clothes, and it seemed Charles wasn’t wound at all because she saw him laughing with Brian, his partner. But Harry doesn’t smile. I remember the way he gazed at me in the limousine. His face was still handsome but scary, which makes me blame myself for touching his notebook.
If I had obeyed Jean’s warning, this might not have happened. I felt like quitting school, but I can’t because I had promised my mom to succeed now and in the future after my dad divorced her.
Mom knocked at the door. “Honey, why did you lock the door? Open the door.”
I rushed to scatter books on my bed and hurried to open the door. “I’m reading.”
She waited for some moment to pass as she glanced at my bed, and then look into my eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I said, “why did you ask?”
“Nothing.” I thought she wants to step in, but she turned to go and then look back at me. “Why don’t you eat?”
“I eat mom.”
“You don’t eat, daughter. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said, “We had a test tomorrow, I need to read.”
“Really?” She hugged me, rubbing my hair. “Please be fine.” She kissed my cheek and left.
I closed the door and lean my back on the door, sat on the floor and tears were dripping down.