“I’m fine now.” I smiled as they returned their gaze to me, and then a sound of a door closed darted here. It seemed Harry slammed his door closed.

Mrs. Eliza still held me tight, the back of her palm on my neck, saying, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Had she rest after the incident?” Mr. William asked my mom.

“She hasn’t.” Mrs. Eliza took me to my room as those words slipped down my mom’s mouth. She wished me well, walked out, closing the door behind her.

Glancing about, I love what I saw. The purple bed glistened under white bulbs, standing fan air, darting window curtains back and forth. I laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and then smiled.

My smile hides a hole that needs to be filled, but not by a smile. Memories flashed: the flaring torches, the condom, and the beaming voice, and then the journalists. Unnamed emotions whirled within me, like a whirlwind whirling up and trees bent to let them pass.

The ceiling was blurred; I rubbed my eyes, and my fingers touch the water. No, it wasn’t water; it was a tear, crawling to my ears.

Am I that worthless girl who got slapped by someone she helped; didn’t I worth praise? I remembered how Harry dropped the empty glass cup and walked away. At that moment, I had faked a smile to the world, but deep down, a hole needs to be filled, but not by a smile.

Cleaning my tears now, I said to myself, “maybe love is not the answer. Maybe I should leave him alone before everything became chaos.”

I’m not sure if I felt genuine love for Harry, for I don’t believe in love at the first sight, but I knew my tears are not a coincidence and not a fake. Something strange about Harry drew my attention and infused me with love. Love without tears is a lie, but maybe I should leave him alone. Maybe love is not the answer.

How would I cope in school if the C2 group knew am living in Harry’s house, wouldn’t it become more chaos? Tears rolled down my cheeks much time, and I was fed up with cleaning them. I leave it alone to flow and dry until the night charms my eyes and erodes me into another town.

An alarm woke me in the morning. A scary one. I remain unmoved on my bed, wondering why they put an alarm in my room?

A hand pats my back saying, “wake up my darling, you will follow Eliza’s sons to school.”

I raised my eyebrows. Gosh, it scared me, but I remain on the bed, shutting my eyes back in total disappointment, for I didn’t expect it to happen. My mom pats my back again and touches my cheek. “Why did you cry, Annie?” This time, she beat me hard, and I yawned out. “Annie, why did you cry?”

I covered my face with a pillow; She pushed it away from my hands and I covered my face with my palms. “Tell me now before I blast your face.”

She scolded me, but she can’t do that, she can’t cope to see me cry the second time. I sighed and say, “I’m on my period.”

“Hey,” a voice came from the door. Harry was standing at the entrance of it, his face glistening on his school uniform. “We give you thirty minutes.” He wants to say something else, but he looked at my mom’s face and walked away.

My mom pulled me up and dragged me to my bathroom, then locked the door. “We give you thirty minutes, or should I come and bath you?”

I swiftly locked the bathroom door because mom can dart in and do what she says now. It doesn’t matter if I answer yes or no. I turn on the water and sat on the stool, head bent, thinking if he didn’t hear what I told my mom just now.

I heard the steps of my mom walking out of my room. Maybe she thought I was bathing already. Here, Harry’s lilt voice swirled in my memory again. “We give you thirty minutes.” And as if his voice commands me, I swiftly have my bath.

Here, in the limousine beside Harry, his brother was in the front seat. I looked out the window to wave to mummy and Mrs. Eliza, who were waving at us. The gateman opened the gate, and the car slowed out, jolting on.

Harry smelled of alluring perfume, his face was handsome with his long chin. He looked at me, eyes met, and I looked away. He exhaled, and then I focus on myself, thinking, if I am the reason he exhaled, am I smelling of menstrual blood?

I concluded that sitting beside one’s crush is a problem when I remembered I lied to my mom that am on my period.

I smiled as he exhaled again, and then I summoned courage within myself, look into his eyes, and said, “what are you smelling?”

He exhaled once more, brought his phone out. A smiling pretty girl was on his wallpaper. I widened my eyes. Did he get a girlfriend? I swiftly looked away as he looked at me. After some minutes, I turned my head to look at the phone. Maybe I might see the pictures of the girl clearly, but his eyes caught my eye again. Awkwardly, I turned my eyes asking myself, “didn’t he turn his head since?”

“Hey,” Harry’s soft voice called me, but I do as if I didn’t hear. “Hey.”

I turned my head. “Me?”

He looked at me for a while then said, “what is your name?”

I was surprised. Surprised. “Annie.”

I watched his finger typing my name on Instagram messages, and a girl reply with laughing emoji. I was enraged, and I feel like collecting his phone.

The girl send it again, and I grabbed the phone from his head. His eyes reddened, but I dare to stare at it for a long time, with fake frowning. Thank God, I hadn’t told him he was my crush. This relieved me.

“What?” I asked. “Why are you and your ugly girlfriend is making a jest of my name?”

His eyes reddened more. I ignore his eyes and stare at the new message. The girl sent, “bestie, is she too annoying to stay with? Can’t you just chase her out?”

I looked at Harry. His anger had risen now. And to save me from another hot slap, I said, “what? Do you want to slap me? Slap me and I will tell your mom.”