Fear? That is what I felt, how I am feeling and will continue to feel. There were several reasons for me to be scared, but only three feared me the most; the first was loosing my mom, the second was loosing Damon and last was giving up little Liliana to her real mother. All of which one was to be materialised today.
I wished for it not to be true but the preparation for the wedding was in plain sight, tears fell from my eyes as I stared at Damon's beautiful face, never once did I think I was soon to let go of it.
I had been relaxed with my feelings for him so much that I didn't know it was going to hurt this much. Thoughts were going through my head on her to disrupt the wedding, malicious thoughts!
Like a zombie or a woman who has just been told a dreadful ever, I entered into my room to cry my eyes out, Damon had tried to console me but I refused to let him in.
I would be damned to believe a thing or two about how I was feelings.
Here I am crying my eyes out about getting involved with a man filled with his own marital and life problems, even worse falling in love with him and he was at my door begging to be let in so he could be with me. I should've asked for assurance on his love for me and demanded that he tell Alicia off but that alone would make me less a woman for causing pain to my fellow gender.
To think of the hell Alicia went through when Damon married Elizabeth must've been how I was feeling right now.
I am such a fool! Hours from now I will be branded as the mistress, a title Rachel once held dearly and which will never be enough for me.
"Liliana open the door!" Damon shouted, hitting the door with his might.
Amidst all of this little Liliana was my comfort, I pushed the cradle back and forth, watching her sleeping was bliss only that she could be disturbed by Damon. I left her in the cradle and went ahead to attend to Damon before he create anymore drama for the both of us.
I was ready to sound angry at him so as to scare him away but when I opened the door my whole body melted and I could barely use my words, the worried look on his face got me mushy inside.
How can I get angry at him for something he has no control over? He already made a promise to Alicia that he would marry her and a promise is far greater than anything in this world.
"You were fine minutes ago, what happened?" He asked taking my hand in his, warming my cold hands with his warmth. "Is it because of the wedding?"
I bit my lip as I tried to force a smile right out my mouth, it was hard but was enough to ease the tension we both had around ourselves. "Let's go to your room" I said smiling, I could tell he was a bit confused but went ahead with it, I locked the door to my room to avoid anybody access to Liliana.
My boldness was to be studied cause I am sure he had no idea what I had in mind. "Sleep with me" I said, the statement did take him aback but my bold ess must've intrigued him as he let out a laugh.
"Are you trying to tease me on my wedding day? You had me worried there for a second" he dragged my cheeks before kissing it playfully.
Does he think that I am joking?
"Wedding day? Damon do you even love me at all..." I said at the brink of tears.
Damon touched my face, "I believe that I have showed you that I do, I love you Liliana"
"Then why won't you sleep with me? Prove to me that love me" I demanded.
"Not in this way, please" he was about to leave, I stopped him by kissing his lips but there was only a bit of shock in his eyes which was enough for me to continue.
Not backing down I slid my hand around his head and lifted my feet to kiss his lips, this time around he kissed back without hesitation, as the heat built between us I felt as he pressed my hips forward to him, he was like a beast devouring his prey and for someone who didn't want to sleep with me groping my ass was easy for him. I was so deep into the kiss that I didn't know when his hands found it's way to my bra, unclasping it I moaned his name giving him a go further and he did, withdrawing his lips from mine he quickly removed the t-shirt I wore earlier today before sliding the hands of my bra so they could exposed two aching to be touched breasts.
Damon took a second to gasp in the sight of me he opened, in no time, like an hungry lion he viciously sucked on my right breast using his left hand to rub the nipple of my other, I stood there moaning like a woman who has been in need for far too long as I ran my fingers through his head begging for more pleasure and he delivered by taking off the belt that held my jeans and zipping it, he took his time to pull the jeans off using the opportunity to touch my area, he took it off completely leaving me with only my panties and a standing breast.
Like I was nothing he carried me in bridal style before laying me on the bed, he took of his shirt showing off his abs.... Those abs that I never appreciated at the swimming pool months ago, here I was drooling over them. He climbed on to the bed and started kissing my lips making it swell for more of his kisses when he left me to attend to my breast before kissing his way to my panties.
I smiled at myself as I expected him to tear it off and began fingering me but he stopped there, he went back to kissing my lips all the way to my earlobe and then whispering with an husky voice, "Never again dare me to prove my love for you this way or else.... I might just do it" he took a final look at my almost naked self before he groaned and turned his face away. "Dress up" he said before leaving.
Damon is indeed a gentleman, it must've been hard for him to resist me especially seeing me like this, which is why I did no wrong in loving him, I got to see what no man saw which is fantastic, the only worst part is he left when I was in need for want more.