When Cailen walked into the kitchen, he saw everyone already seated, an empty seat beside Ezekiel that he supposed was meant for him.
Asher sat on the other side of Ezekiel, followed by Noah, then Eden and Dean, and another empty seat for William.
Cailen took his seat, ruffling Ezekiel's hair who pretty much ignored the action as he shoved hot dog in his mouth. William soon followed, taking his seat beside Cailen and digging in.
The food was his favorite, macaroni and cheese with hot dogs, probably also made with Ezekiel in mind but no one seemed to mind.
"So, have Stella and David found a place yet?" Cailen asked.
He hadn't actually spoken to Stella in a while, though she has been sending him texts, asking when she could meet Ezekiel. The texts have slowed down recently since she and her husband have been looking for a house to move into and Cailen hasn't been able to check in with her.
"They found a place they like, they just have to see if they can buy it." Eden explained. "What about you two? Are you thinking about getting a house? I think it'd be better to raise Zeke in... and with Loki, he'd have a yard to run around in." Eden said.
Asher snuck a knowing glance at Cailen because this was an ongoing discussion that both Eden and Dean have been trying to push at Asher and Cailen.
"I think we've got to get a handle on everything else first. It's a bit hectic right now." Asher said politely.
"Well, if you ever do decide to and need anything, you can come to us." Dean offered.
"Thanks, Dad, but that probably won't be for a while." Cailen explained.
They just weren't ready to move into a big house and they were happy where they were.
"We just-" Eden started in but William came to the rescue.
"So, how about that game last night?" William said, kind of randomly because everyone knew William wasn't that into sports anymore and Cailen wasn't sure there was even a game on last night.
"Alright, alright, we get it." Eden chuckled, shaking her head slightly. There was a slight pause, amused looks being shared between them all before Eden continued. "Oh, Asher, love, we heard about that firefighter in Oxmoore." Eden said, looking sorry.
Cailen wasn't sure if he preferred this topic any more than the last.
"Oh, yeah. Very unfortunate." Asher said stiffly, looking down at his plate.
Cailen knew it wasn't exactly grief that had Asher looking down at his plate. It was probably more of the fact that he knew where this conversation was going and didn't want to talk about it.
"It just makes me so worried for you." Eden went on.
Cailen saw Asher's jaw clench tight and wanted to help, wanted to assure his mother that Asher was always careful and knew what he was doing but he couldn't seem to voice these thoughts when Cailen himself always worried as well.
"Come on, Mom, Ash is always careful." William said, earning an appreciative look from Asher.
"Yeah, Eden, Ash is tough, you've got nothing to worry about, right Cai?" Noah asked, looking to Cailen.
Asher looked up at this, meeting Cailen's eyes in uncertainty. Cailen knew that Asher knew his opinion on the subject but it didn't feel right to not defend his husband on this, it felt very unsupportive for some reason when really, he too was just worried.
But Cailen wanted to try and be supportive of Asher, about everything and if that meant looking past the danger then he supposed that's what needed to be done.
"Yeah, of course." Cailen smiled at his Mom, hopefully erasing any worries.
"I know... But- Oh, never mind. I'm probably being silly." Eden chuckled, filling her mouth with macaroni so she wouldn't have to talk.
The rest of lunch felt tense, at least for Cailen. Asher wouldn't really look at him and if he did, Cailen could see something in his eyes that almost resembled anger, but not quite.
After lunch, it felt as though Asher was avoiding Cailen... Well, he wasn't actually avoiding him, that was kind of hard to do, but he never stood as close, he never pulled Cailen close to him like he usually did and there certainly weren't kisses anymore to his cheek.
Cailen could just be overthinking, it wouldn't be the first time, but he didn't think that was the case. He wasn't an idiot. He could tell when Asher wasn't exactly pleased with him, he just didn't know what he did.
The only thing he could think about was the conversation at lunch and he thought he had handled that very well.
He supported Asher and his career decision.
Was that not what Asher wanted? Was that not what Asher had wanted this whole time? Was that not what they've spent several hours arguing over, Cailen being supportive of his career choice?
Cailen was beyond confused because he was trying to overlook his worries, trying to be alright with Asher being a firefighter, but even when he did, Asher still got upset with him.
What the hell?
*****
"Okay, go play in your room, love." Cailen instructed once they were home and had made it through the door with Loki attacking them with his love for them.
Ezekiel ran off down the hall with his new guitar in hand, Loki chasing after him.
"You'll need a bath later though." Cailen called after him, his words going ignored.
Asher shrugged out of his jacket and threw it on the hook, not even sparing Cailen a glance before stalking off to the kitchen.
Cailen sighed, knowing that an argument was probably on it's way, and followed Asher into the kitchen.
"So..." Cailen said, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen.
"So?" Asher asked, busying himself with the pile of dishes in the sink that needed to be washed.
"What's up? You're upset." Cailen pointed out.
Asher stared at the water filling the sink, waiting until it was full enough to start washing the dishes. Cailen knew that when Asher was upset or nervous, he had to keep busy, whether that be washing the dishes or going for a run- he needed to keep busy.
"I'm not upset." Asher countered.
Cailen grabbed a dish towel, preparing to dry the dishes Asher washed. Not exactly what he had planned on doing when he got home but he supposed it needed to be done anyway.
"Mhmm, and I'm not dreading going to work tomorrow." Cailen replied, slipping in between the small space between the counter and Asher's side, waiting for dishes to dry.
"You love your job." Asher grumbled, placing a plate in the dish rack.
"I do..." Cailen admitted, picking up the plate. "But that doesn't mean I like getting up before the sun."
"Then a better lie would be you're not dreading getting up before the sun tomorrow..." Asher pointed out, not realizing what he just did.
"Aha, so you admit you were lying. You are upset." Cailen said, setting the now dry plate down on the counter.
Asher shrugged his shoulder.
"Don't want to talk about it." Asher mumbled, making Cailen frown.
"Ash, come on." Cailen tried, running his hand across the back of Asher's shoulders that he actually shrugged off. "What did I do?" Cailen asked, slightly angry now.
"Nothing." Asher grumbled, setting more dishes in the rack that Cailen was now ignoring, being too focused on the conversation at hand.
"Oh, bullshit." Cailen spat, lowering his voice to avoid Ezekiel over hearing. "Asher, talk to me."
"You- I- I don't know, okay?" Asher said, turning to Cailen, the dishes forgotten. "I just wish- I wish when you told your mother that 'of course she had nothing to worry about’, that you actually believe it yourself." Asher explained in a hushed tone.
Cailen was fairly certain Asher wanted to yell right now, but he knew he couldn't with Ezekiel down the hall.
"I wish that I could come home and talk about my day at work without having to worry about starting a fight, without having to worry about you getting upset. I wish that you could understand why I do what I do, that I'm always careful, I'm always safe."
"Ash, I do understand, I know you want to help people, you want to save people but- you have to understand that no matter how careful you are, accidents happen." Cailen replied, knowing this was going nowhere fast.
It's nothing they haven't discussed already.
"Yeah, I do understand that. But Cai, accidents can happen at any time... You could walk out on the street tomorrow and get hit by a car. You don't see me asking you to stay inside forever, do you?" Asher asked, turning back to the dishes.
"That's really not the same thing and you know it." Cailen argued, grabbing a dish with more force than really necessary.
It was different when your job entitles walking towards a fire instead of running away from it.
"Yeah. Okay." Asher said, still angry. "You can go give Zeke a bath. I got this." Asher suggested though Cailen knew it wasn't to be efficient with their time.
Asher just wanted to be alone.
"Ash- " Cailen sighed.
"No, I'm done talking about it. We both know where it's going." Asher interrupted, actually taking the towel from Cailen's hands and tossing it on the counter.
Cailen gave an angry huff, turning away from Asher and going to get Ezekiel.
Cailen found the boy in his room, already having stripped to nothing but his socks and playing with his Batman action figure, making it dive off the end of his bed and crash onto the floor.
For what reason, Cailen had no idea but then again, who was he to question Batman's motives?
"You ready for your bath, love?" Cailen asked, standing in the doorway to Ezekiel's room, trying to appear as though everything was alright even though he felt like throwing something at the moment.
Ezekiel turned to him then looked to the floor where Batman laid, face first in the carpet.
"Can Batman come?" Ezekiel asked, looking torn between bath time and playing with Batman.
"Yeah, okay. Come on." Cailen smiled, waiting for the boy to grab his toy.
Cailen didn't need to do much during bath time. Ezekiel was pretty capable, only needing help when it came to his hair, but it was a nice distraction from the argument that had taken place. He just didn't understand how Asher couldn't see where he was coming from.
How could he expect Cailen to just sit back and watch as Asher threw himself into danger all the time?
He was certain if the roles were reversed, Asher would be doing the same as Cailen, if not worse.
It was an argument without an end and constantly left both parties fuming for hours, and by hours, Cailen meant hours.
Even after Ezekiel's bath, after dinner that was spent in an awkward silence with nothing but Ezekiel's chatter to fill it, and after Ezekiel was put to bed, they still weren't speaking, at least not willingly.
"I'm getting tired." Cailen said around a yawn, the first willing sentence to Asher from his mouth all night.
He knew they would be fine eventually. They never stayed mad at each other for that long, but this was getting tiresome.
Why couldn't they figure this one out?
"Um, I think I'll sleep on the couch tonight." Asher said quietly, not meeting Cailen's eyes.