Another silence fell over the room and Cailen suddenly wanted to take it back.
He didn't actually want her to kick him out.
He knew they only just met but, he's been rejected by so many mothers before. He wasn't sure he could be rejected by her as well.
"Okay." She said finally, sounding confused. "What does that have to do with- Oh." She spoke softly again, barely audible which surprised him. He was expecting harsher tones and much harsher words. "I see now." She said, sighing afterwards.
"What?" He asked quietly.
"They don't know, do they?" She asked. Cailen shook his head. Why wasn't she kicking him out? "And you think if they did, then..."
"Then they won't want me around anymore. I know they won't." He finished for her.
"Are they homophobic?" She asked like she already knew what the answer would be.
"Uh, no- I- don't know." He answered honestly.
The subject had never really come up.
"Have they ever showed signs of being homophobic?" She asked this time.
"Not that I can remember, but that doesn't mean anything. It's different when it's your own- "
"Then what makes you think they'll care?" She asked, not letting him finish his sentence.
Cailen couldn't answer her this time. He didn't know. He's always just assumed because of the stories he's heard. His whole life he's been rejected time after time, why would this time be any different?
"Cailen, don't you think that they deserve more credit than that? These people took you in for a reason. They're kind people. If you love them, you must trust them. Trust that they'll still love you." She said, her tone soft and calming.
It sounded good- to just trust them.
But he wasn't sure he could take that risk.
"And what if they don't?" He asked, his voice small and scared. Arabella sighed.
"The way I see it, is you're running because you think they'll reject you, but they haven't actually rejected you. You could be running for no reason." She explained.
"But what if I'm not?"
"But what if you are?" She asked, mimicking Cailen and making him think. "Look at it this way, you run now and live wondering what could have been or you run later, knowing what happened. At least you won't be wondering what would have happened if you just told them... And that way, they know what happened and they aren't left hurt and wondering as well."
Cailen thought about what she said, the room falling silent. She had a point. Maybe he was running for no reason and if he just grew some balls and told them, he'd know.
He supposed he was losing them either way, at least they'd know why. Cailen sighed, running his fingers through his hair.
"Mom! Ava's being a brat!" A girl called from down the hall. Arabella chuckled slightly, shaking her head.
"No, I'm not!" Another girl called out- Ava- Cailen was assuming.
"Will you excuse me?" She asked.
Cailen nodded, hoping some time alone would do him some good. He knew what he should do but he wasn't sure he could handle the rejection.
Not from them. Not from the people he loved so much.
Cailen gave a frustrated sigh, digging into his pocket for his phone because he wanted to know what time it was. After waiting for his phone to turn on, he saw that it was half past ten and he noticed that his phone was at less than ten percent in battery and he hadn't packed his charger. Shit.
He was about to turn it off to save the battery when it chimed and a message from William popped up, and then another and another, then a couple from Matthew and Noah, even Eden and Dean sent him a few.
Obviously they've been texting him all this time but he didn't notice with his phone off. He saw there was several missed calls as well and a couple voicemails from them as well and he was too curious to not look at them.
Wil : Did u not come home last night?
: Cai?
: Cailen please come back, don't freak out about this.
: Cai, please. He's freaking out. He's sorry.
: Please come back so we can talk about this.
: It's not a big deal, Cailen ur one of his best friends.
: He needs u, Cai. Please just come home.
Matt : Come on dude, just come back.
: He wanted to tell u earlier but he was scared.
: Cailen ur being a dick about this.
: R u really gonna let this ruin 7 years of friendship???
: Cailen, he needs u 2 come back.
Noah : Hey man, just come back, yeah?
: U guys can still be friends.
: This isn't as big of a deal as u think.
: Look, I've seen the way u look at him.
: I've haven't told anyone and I won't, just come back.
: Please.
: Cailen he needs u.
: No one will care. We all know Ash is gay and it's fine if that's what ur worried about.
: Just come back and we can talk it all out.
: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
: I don't really know if u are, it was just a guess.
: I'm sorry, don't be mad.
: Cai, ur killing him.
: If ur mad at me, fine but just come back for Asher.
Cailen was shocked at what Noah had said. In fact, he was shocked at what they were all saying because Asher had obviously told them, yet they were still telling him to come home? Was Arabella right?
Mom : William is telling me to text you to come home.
: Is there something going on, Cai?
: Cailen, what's going on?
: Please answer me baby, I'm starting to worry.
Dad : What's going on, son?
: I need you to come home or at least call me, please.
Without giving himself time to think on it, he called his voice mail.
‘You have two new messages’, he heard his phone tell him. Beep.
“Cailen please just come home. Asher's sorry. You guys need to talk this out, you can't just run from it. I realize you might need some time but could you just answer me? Please, I need to know how you're doing, I'm your brother and I'm worried about you. Please call me.”
Beep.
“Cailen, honey, please come home. William's freaking out and he won't tell us what's wrong, only that he needs you to come home. Please come home, baby. I love you.”
‘End of final message, to erase all messages, please pres-’
Cailen hung up his phone, going to the contacts to find William's name. He tapped on it and hit call, watching the screen change and was about to put it to his ear when he saw the screen go black.
He clicked the home button once and then again repeatedly when it remained black.
His phone had died. Of fucking course. William was fucking worried about him, he had to call him and his fucking phone dies.
So much for no clichés.
"Sorry about that," Arabella apologized, coming back into the room.
It sort of startled Cailen but he couldn't focus on that right now.
"Look Cailen, I'm really glad you found me and... I would really like it if you wanted to meet up again so we can talk properly but right now is not a good time. You need to go home and sort this out. I know if it were me, I'd be worried sick if you just disappeared."
Cailen nodded along because she was right. His family was obviously worried and wants him home and he couldn't just let them worry like this.
He had to go back.