Matthews Dunlop.
I stared at the tray of a cheese sandwich, fries, and a carton of milk before me. I'd lost my appetite. Not today. Yesterday, after Elena had said what she said. I realized I'd lost it at night though when mom placed my favorite lasagna before me and I couldn't manage even a bite of it. And this morning as well, when the bowl of cereal I normally had right before I went to school was left untouched before me, the cereal getting soggy by the second because of the milk soaking it up.
"Eat your cereal, Matt," my mom had said, "or you won't like it anymore and we'd have to throw it away."
"I'm not in the mood." I'd told her.
"And I've asked you already, what is the problem, but you've still refused to talk to me." She stood in front of me worriedly.
"It's nothing," I muttered.
She sighed. "Matthew, I'm your mother. If something is bothering you, you know you can always tell me. You know I'd and can never do anything to hurt you further, regardless of what it is."
I wanted to tell her. Right then, at that moment, I just wanted her to know it all, but the moment I opened my mouth to let her know why my mood had been sore all night, a forceful thought came to my mind, "No."
"It's nothing," I breathed, looking up from my bowl of cereal to her.
"Is it, um, is it about your sexuality?" My mom asked, raking a hand through her hair.
I frowned at the first expression that'd come to my face aside from the moping one I'd been carrying all through yesterday. "Sexuality?"
"You're not straight?" She held my gaze but I could see a slight tint of pink on both sides of her cheeks.
"What?" I blinked. "No, mom. I'm straight as a board."
"Then what is the problem, Matt?" She asked. "Why wouldn't you tell me?"
"It's nothing, mom, really," I said, still holding her gaze.
"Fine," she held her hands up in the air. "Have it your way, since you've refused to let me in."
I wish I could, I'd said to myself.
"Either way, finish up your breakfast," she added.
I drew back my seat, stood up, and grabbed my book bag. "It's soggy already, and I'm late for school anyway."
"Cereal is getting costlier, Matt," my mom grumbled as I turned away from the bowl of cereal and headed toward the front door.
"Bye, mom!" I called. "I love you!"
"Love you too, sweetie!"
So, there I was staring at my full lunch tray, my stomach grumbling in protest but my appetite seeming to be forever quenched. I had to eat anyway. I didn't last night and this morning, missing this afternoon might lead to serious problems health-wise and I didn't want to impose any extra charges on my family because of my best friend. Someone I thought was my best friend.
Elena looked me in the eye and told me to fuck off. It still felt surreal to me that she thought all I'd told her was some type of bullshit story I came up with to keep her away from KJ. Like I even had the time of the day to dedicate towards making up too good to be true stories. But aside from that, Elena has known me for eleven years. Not one, not two, eleven, and we've been best friends for seven out of the eleven years. Did she think I'd make that up? After knowing me for so long, that's what she thought? After knowing me for so long, she'd take me for a liar?
To say that I was highly disappointed in Elena wouldn't be putting it lightly. I'd never, ever in my next life, expected nor thought that Elena could be this way; all her judgment, all her reasoning clouded by the physical looks of some boy she'd barely known for two months.
What had gotten into her?
"You gonna eat that or what?"
At the sound of the voice, I raised my gaze from the tray in front of me. My eyes fell on Clara, sitting opposite me, her forearms crossed on the table and a perky smile across her lips.
"I think?" I murmured, then I nodded at the half-full tray before her. "You?"
"I'm already halfway through," she smiled, picking up a half-eaten sandwich. "Where's your friend, Elena? Red-face, I mean."
I stared her dead in the eye. "Don't call her that."
"Chill out, Matt," she chuckled. "It was only a joke anyway."
When I remained silent, she said, "Okay fine, I'm sorry. I won't anymore."
"She's not here," I said finally, looking back at my tray.
"Apparently." Clara looked around.
"So," she began, looking back at me. "What's your decision?"
I looked at her once again. "Decision about what?"
"Prom. It's in three weeks. Would you like to be my prom date?"
"Oh," I muttered. With a sigh. I looked away from her, falling silent once again.
"So," she drawled. "It's a no then?"
"I don't know," I said, looking back at her.
"It's fine," she said, "I'm just gonna go now."
She drew back her chair and stood up.
Who was reserving my prom date for anyway? Elena? Elena is sitting in wait for the moment KJ walks up to her and asks her to be his prom date while kneeling on one knee.
"You know what, screw this," I muttered, reaching forward and taking Clara's wrist in my hand. "Wait a minute."
She said nothing.
"It's a yes," I said, looking up at her.
She tucked her hair behind her ear, turning back toward the table so she was facing it properly now. "Are you sure?" There was a small smile on her lips.
"Yeah," I nodded, letting go of her wrist.
"Okay." She sat down once more. "Do you mind if I sit down here for the rest of the lunch?"
I gave her a small smile. "Not at all."
°°°°
Lunch was over now, and I was currently on my way to my locker.
Clara was fun if I was being honest. Although she tended to chatter a lot, all her conversations were gusto-filled and energetic, leading me on despite me not being in the mood to converse. Matter of fact, Clara was better than I thought. Better than what people painted her to be, just because she was a friend of Anabel. From the little time we'd spent together, I could already tell that she was polite too.
Since Elena had decided to go along with KJ and there was nothing I could do about it because Elena wasn't ready to hear the truth yet and was still living in denial, I think I could freely announce that I was looking forward to the poem night with Clara.
I dropped my now empty tray—somehow Clara's conversation had pushed me to eat and in the end empty my tray—in the trash bin on my way out and headed upstairs for my locker which was located on the third floor.
I was about to cross the landing to the second floor when I heard voices, familiar voices. One belonged to Elena, I was a hundred percent sure. Slowly, I looked to my right, the corner where her locker was located.
There was Elena, standing at her locker, leaning rather while KJ stood before her, holding his fingers to her jaw, thereby raising her face slightly so their eyes met. He was saying something to her and Elena was smiling, blushing rather, at every word he said, although from my distance I couldn't make out what it was.
I could see the hypocrisy, lies, and deceit eight from the soot which I stood. It was so freaking obvious, you didn't need to have 20/22 vision or the eyes of an eagle to make it out. He was playing her and Elena was falling into a bottomless cesspool. But what made it more frustrating was the fact that he made it seem so easy. Like Elena was some kind of easy fresh meat or something, which had known her for eleven years, I knew she was not.
But who was I to intervene? Like Elena had said, I was going to stay away from her, from KJ and her business with him until I could prove that I was telling the truth. So, I turned away from them and began up the next flight of stairs when I heard Elena giggle, and I think somehow, that did it for me.
Suddenly enraged and filled with so much anger and annoyance towards the double-edged sword, KJ, I threw my bookbag off my shoulders and charged forward at KJ.
He was so engrossed in his faux act of wooing Elena that KJ didn't notice me launch at him until it was too late. The moment he probably noticed something swinging fast toward his face, he turned in my direction, and almost immediately, my fist connected with his cheek.
Taken by surprise, he toppled backward, lost his balance, and crashed to the floor, a hand to his right cheek where I punched him.
"Matthew!" Elena screamed at me. "Why won't you just leave me alone?! I said stay away from me!"
I ignored Elena and stared at KJ who was still on the floor, looking dumbstruck, and to his cheek.
"I know what your deal is," I spat at him through clenched teeth. "I heard everything you said in the locker room yesterday, but guess what, I'm not going to let any of it happen. Elena already knows about it and your stupid lies, it's only a matter of time before your lies get exposed."
There was a moment of silence after I was done, me breathing hard in anger, my fist smarting—Kj's cheek could be made of steel for all I knew. Kj on the other hand was still on the floor, staring at me while Elena's eyes danced from me to KJ and back at me.
"What are you talking about?" KJ frowned, finally saying something. His words were muffled though, not until he spat out the accumulated blood in his mouth.
"Look what you did, Matthew, Elena glared at me. "You injured him. What did he ever do to you?"
Just then, KJ stood up from the ground, dusting his pants.
"He took you away from me!" I yelled, all of a sudden unable to hold it in any longer.
Another moment of silence reigned before I realized the error in my words.
"I-I didn't mean it that way," I said. "Look, Elena, all I'm trying to say is you have to believe me. Kj's good for nothing guy. You've known me for more than a decade, why would I lie to you or want to do anything that would hurt you? You have to trust me."
"Matthew, just leaves, "Elena spoke up almost immediately.
"So you're not going to say anything else?" I looked at her. "You're not even going to give me a chance."
"A chance for what?!" KJ raised his voice suddenly, startling me. "You out here talking like some deranged individual and you expect her to give you a fucking chance? Bro, get the hell out of our faces."
"What did you say?" I narrowed my eyes.
"You heard me," KJ squared his shoulders, stepping up closer to me.
"Enough, both of you!" Elena yelled, stepping in between us both. "Please."
And then she turned to me. "Matthew, leave."
"But Elena, I'm only trying to help you. To make you see!" I stared at her.
"Matthew, please," she looked at me straight in my eyes. "Just leave. People are gathering and you know how I feel about that."
She was never going to listen huh.
I took a step back from her then. "You know what, fuck this." And then I turned around and began walking away, but I could swear that just while I was turning away from them, KJ full-on winked at me, a smug smirk on his lips.