Elena Sergio.
Whenever I was told sorrow came at night, I thought it was a phase. There I was sitting beside my morrow in my room, wondering the kind of mess I was stuck in. Things became hard for me minute after minute. Getting a good night's sleep could be my solution but I couldn't seek them.
Matthews and I got into something heated for the same reason again. This part of our friendship was about to get normalized in our lives and I hated how things were. Matthews kept presenting himself to me as someone so insecure about the people I roll with even though he wasn't that way before.
I felt he wanted me to remain isolated and enclosed within my space. He was the only person I had got but it doesn't stop me from meeting and engaging with different people. His view about Kadjiri was something I couldn't tolerate. He was aware of my feelings for KJ, probably feeling inferior by his presence but painting him black in my head wasn't going to work.
How could he have thought that KJ would try to prank me and hurt my feelings? I saw all reasons for him to be wrong. First, he was a new student. Kadjiri had spent roughly a month in this school. He had become known for his cute looks and swags which is normal for every new student in the school. Probably he didn't run out of luck.
He was also a sweet being. The way he was ready to engage in conversations with me and having the same similarities with him, what else could go wrong? His kiss was passionate and his touch was electrifying. It caused my soul to tangle at his feet.
But what if Matthew was wrong? My doubts tripped into my thoughts. Matthews would never make up something against someone or anything. Being friends with him made me study the kind of person he was and I never saw him that way.
Matthews was a selfless guy with a kind heart. He had this kind of determination that push him to get the right things done at the right time. He was very smart and he aced all his subjects in class, that was what got us closer. He helped me with issues I had especially in Mathematics. He was good with algebraic expression and trigonometry, something I found so difficult to deal with if not for him.
All the times we had our differences, he never told a lie about anyone only probably to hide something from me or escape from more discussion. In this case, I knew not what to believe. He saw Kadjiri as a beast but I saw him as an angel. KJ was pictured as a demon towards him but he was like a saint in my eyes. Whenever KJ did any wrongs, my eyes were never blind to see them. I would always read through the lines but I was stuck between them.
I never wanted to be in a situation where I had to pick my love life over my best friend. I wasn't even sure of the love life I was trying to build. I sighed. I lay flat on the bed, looking at my ceiling, seeking peace I couldn't find. I don't know what tomorrow will hold, well I had to live through it.
Tomorrow finally came, I had already reached school to continue my school activities. My eyes roamed around a bit to see if I would see Matthews anywhere. Yes, I cared about him. He was my best friend and I needed to be worried if anything bad happened to him but I stopped a second and thought about it. We ended the day on a bad note and we never called back to resolve our differences so I shouldn't take him to heart.
I walked to get my books from my locker just like I used to. I was sure to see Matthews any moment from now but I didn't. A part of me was waiting about by his locker which was beside mine. Not to be obvious, I kept roaming my hands in my locker pretending to search for something that didn't exist.
I froze and stuttered when someone's hands went around my waist side. I wasn't hoping for it to be Matthews and it interrupted me from my actions. Turning around, I realized who it was and my eyes opened in shock.
"What are you doing here?" I had to ask and my voice tone increased a bit. I wasn't expecting Kj to carry out what he just did. It felt lovely and sweet but when I realized it was him, it surprised me.
"I'm not doing anything," He began to sound skeptical. Maybe I must have scared him a bit which made him look around if anyone saw what he did. I wasn't that kind of girl who would tag things like this as sexual abuse to implicate boys to threaten them, even though I've witnessed it right from eighth grade.
"I didn't mean to scare you or anything. I'm sorry," I softened my vocals as I apologized. Probably from the way I sounded hard, I scared him and caused meaning to something which wasn't worth it.
"It's fine. You look amazing this morning. Off to class?" He asked. He was nicer than expected. Seemed he worked up on the right side of the bed. He looked jovial and happy but I didn't push to ask.
"Yes, I'm. I just thought of getting my books here first before going."
"Can I help you with that?" He asked stretching a helping hand to me. I didn't hesitate to give him my books even though it was unusual for him to help me. He had never done that to me before, even when I threw myself at him. I wasn't suspicious about his actions because I didn't see the need to. We weren't given any assignments to attempt at home where KJ could use this medium to spy through my work and everything seemed right.
"Hope you don't mind if I sit beside you in class?" KJ insinuated while we walked to class. As he asked, Matthews came up in my mind. I wouldn't want him to feel replaced just because we disagreed. I was stuck between my decision and tried to make sure I doesn't feel rejected. I searched for Matthews with my eyes throughout the corridor but he wasn't anywhere. I had to do what I had to do.
"Alright then," I finally agreed. He walked with me to class with his books and mine in his hands. I got into the classroom first, watching how everyone was busy having chic-chat with their pals and seat partners. I looked for my seat and saw that it was empty. Matthew wasn't in the class either. KJ had the privilege to sit beside me while we wait for the first class to start.
I sat down and dropped my book to the ground. Finally, Matthews walked into the class without even looking at me. He went to the back of the class to have his sit beside someone I didn't expect to see him with. It was one of Anabel's friends which I detested so much. A friend of an enemy was always an enemy no matter how they want to appear friendly in front of people.
They giggled and they seemed so occupied with their discussion. Now I felt replaced. A feeling I was trying too much not to inflict on my best friend. They seemed so engrossed with each other. The chuckles and smiles they had on their face. He was fine without me.
I forgot my direction unto the board and KJ was beside me. He tried engaging me in conversations, asking me about my day and my wellbeing. I tried to respond in a more polite way even when I wasn't in the mood for it. I was just glad within my heart that he found me interesting.
It was about time for lunch. I packed my books and school utensils into my bag, heading to my locker to keep them there for safekeeping. While exiting the room, Matthews met me at the door. We were all confused about who to allow to go out first. We kept on barging into each other's face till I took myself back. He said nothing and avoided eye contact. He walked out of the classroom to his locker to do the same thing I planned on doing. I was hurt. Seeing my best friend turn into a stranger is what I didn't plan for. I know we were going to solve our issues but from what I see, it'd take a while.
"Are you going to have lunch?" KJ asked as he met me at the door. My head was brought down, seeming like I was ignoring his question. I hoped he understood I was so sad at that moment.
"Is everything alright?" KJ asked. I was sure he noticed my change of mood. At that point, I was battling between telling him what Matthews observed about him to confirm if it was true or just letting it slide.
"It's fine!" I answered. I left him at the door to return my books to the locker. I hope he wasn't thinking I was ignoring his presence. I jammed my locker after doing as I planned and met his face close to mine which got me scared at that point.
"You scared me!" I panicked.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," he apologized and backed off a bit. "I just wanted to know if you planned on having lunch at the cafeteria. I like having you around."
I appreciated his last statement. Someone else apart from Matthews liked my company. This was something I wasn't ready to lose. I agreed and we both walked straight to the cafeteria to get something to eat.
My mind was blank and all I had in it was him. Until Matthews' eyes and mine met when I walked into the cafeteria, everything seemed to be working fine.