Elena Sergio
I couldn't believe Matthew and I had our first ever argument since we first started hanging out solely because we'd become too busy to spend time together.
I wasn't able to make it to the dinner on Friday like we'd been scheduled because the rehearsals had begun and ended too late, and then Mathew had gotten upset because he'd been waiting at the restaurant and he thought I'd stood him up and then when I tried to explain he wouldn't listen to me. Okay, even if he didn't listen to me, I could see the doubt in his eyes, and then I got upset because he was doubting my words, and boom before I could even stop it, one big, silly argument broke out between us both.
And I hated that it did. I hated not being able to speak to Matthew. It was hard enough when we weren't speaking when I thought he was trying to set KJ and me wrong. And now it is happening again? We hadn't talked all through Saturday and Sunday and now Monday to he hadn't said a word to me. We had a class together and he still didn't speak to me. It was getting really bad, and for a moment just before the break, I felt like I was just going to embarrass myself in front of the whole class by bursting into tears.
And now it was lunchtime and I was sitting alone at the table staring down at my food and wondering what I could do to patch up things.
"Hey, baby girl!"
At once I looked up and my gaze fell on Megan, a wide smile across her face.
"Hey!" I smiled back, pushing away the sad feeling enveloping my emotions.
"Why the face?" She stared at me after placing her lunch tray on the table. Then she looked around. "And why can't I see Matthew anywhere here, with you, as he should be?"
"What face?" I answered her first question instead, avoiding the one about Matthew.
"The all sad bad-day face," she stated, picking up an apple.
"You must have seen wrong," I scoffed. "I mean, does it seem like I'm upset at the moment?"
I kept my gaze on her, unwavering, while hers remained on mine unwavering too.
"Alright!" She breathed finally, dropping her apple. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean?" I feigned ignorance.
"I can tell there's something up. I was this same way last week when Bart and I argued, so yeah I would know."
"Ohh," I drawled. "I knew it! I knew there was something up last week."
She chuckled. "Yeah yeah, we'd had this huge argument so I guess I was just venting."
"So what happened?" I asked, folding my arms on the table and keeping my eyes on her.
"Well, he kissed this broad at a friend's party we went to and I was really upset but then I realized there was no need to be because he was drunk and I know if he wasn't he'd never have done that. So yeah, I forgave him."
"Oh," I blinked after she was done. "Wow. I'm just glad you both worked things out."
"Yeah," Megan smiled. "I just wish he was in this school too, but that's by the way? So, what's up with you and Matthew?"
I sighed, looking down at my food. "We had this argument a couple of days ago and now he's not speaking to me and I'm not ready to speak to him either."
"Bummer," Megan murmured. "Argument about what though?"
"He, uh, he thought I stood him up at a date we were supposed to have." I shrugged.
"You know, I shouldn't have asked because it's irrelevant now," Megan waved. "What is important right now is the fact I've seen you love him, Elena. And he does too. So you both need to patch things up."
"Yeah," I scoffed. "Easier said than done, Megan."
"Watch me make it happen," she said before suddenly she shot up from her chair.
"Hey, Matt!" She yelled suddenly, her voice resounding around the whole cafeteria. Embarrassed, I put my head down. Megan could be brash sometimes. Most times.
"Matthew, please come over here?!" She kept yelling.
I think Matthew didn't budge because the next thing I knew there was an explosion "Matthew!" From Megan shortly followed by a "Fine, for fucks date!"
Megan sat down then and a minute later, the familiar sweet scent of Matthew's perfume filled my nostrils even before I saw him. I refused to raise my head though or look at him.
"Uh-uh, Matthew, it's beside Elena today," Megan said.
"Stop this, Megan," Matthew said, his voice strained.
"Stop what?" Megan feigned innocence.
There was a brief sigh before Matthew let out an exasperated sigh and came over to my side of the table. He set down his tray and by the next second, I could feel his strained presence beside me.
For several moments there was silence before us three before Megan broke the ice.
"So what's up with you two?" She began. "I mean because y'all were best friends for eleven fucking years before y'all decided to start kissing each other, more often than not, this shouldn't be happening if you asked me."
"She stood me up, Megan," Matthew said then. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I wanted Matthew to keep talking. I missed the sound of his voice. So bad.
"And Elena here said that she already tried explaining to you that it wasn't intentional," Megan stated.
"Yeah, well she's always busy," Matthew said with contempt.
I looked up at him, his words having ticked a nerve.
With narrowed eyes, I said, "I'm always busy?"
.
"Yeah, you are. Ever since your speech and everything now everyone wants to talk to you and shit."
"Oh, let's not even go," I gave a mirthless laugh. "Don't even go there. I'm always busy? Well, you're always late! You never have time for anything because of your fucking practice. Every Time "sorry I'm late, coach this, the coach that", yeah well I'm fed up with all your bullshit too!"
By the time I was done, I was breathing hard, my gaze on his unwavering.
"I did try to get to the restaurant on time but there were double practices on Friday and my phone had died and I'd left my charger back at home. What then did you expect me to do? Perform some type of magic, or perhaps hop on a goddamn broomstick and fly?"
"Maybe if you'd done that, then I'd believe you," Matthew said, his eyes never leaving mine.
"You know what? This is pointless, I'm done here." Abandoning my food on the table, I grabbed my backpack and stood up.
"Elena, wait," Megan said as I turned to go but I wasn't about to stop for any reason, not with the onslaught of tears that were coming my way.
"Don't bother, Megan," I muttered, already walking away.
My head down, hands around the straps of my backpack, I wheeled to the bathroom, pushed open the door, and shut it, leaning against it. And then the tears came, hot, fast, stinging, in torrents.
"Damn you, Matt," I breathed. "How can you possibly say that? You've known me longer than anyone else, so how?"
Sliding to the floor, I sat down and sobbed.
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I stared at the performer on the stage, my hands trembling mildly. I kept them in my pockets to stop them from being noticed. Everyone was so good, from the drummers to the actors, singers, and vocalists. I knew I was too or else I wouldn't have gotten the role and every other praise I'd received so far but now and then stagefright kicked in, making my palms tremble and seat and my heartbeat go crazy.
I wasn't playing today. The directors had asked that I don't so they could focus more on others they thought weren't yet a hundred percent perfect in what they did. What in the world made them think I was a hundred percent perfect though. As far as I was concerned, I still needed practice. I still need to practice, right down to the very D-day.
"Hey."
Startled, my shoulders jumped slightly. I turned around to see it was Daniel.
"I'm sorry," he apologized with a smile. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's . . . fine, I guess," I shrugged, still looking at him.
"Great," he beamed and then came around to sit beside me.
"So why are you nervous?" He asked after he'd sat down, fixing his gaze on me.
"Nervous?" I said. "No, I'm not nervous."
"I play sports, Elena," he stated. "I know when someone's nervous and trying to hide it. Well, basically because I'm always super nervous before a game too."
I looked away from him then, my gaze dropping to my hands. "I don't know, Daniel."
"Is it because the musicals are coming up soon?" He asked thoughtfully.
"Yeah," I murmured. "I guess so."
"You know you're good right?" He commented, his eyes on me.
I looked back at him. "You think?"
Or you're just saying it to make me not feel bad.
"I know so, Elena. We all have our niches and you're good at yours, just as I'm good at football. I need you to realize that there's no need to be scared anyway. That's just your mind playing tricks on you, trying to dissuade you from being the confident person you're meant to be. If you listen to it, that's when you've won."
After he was done, all I did was stare at him before suddenly I blurted, "What was it that I said on prom day that helped you, Daniel, and how?"
At my words, he looked away, falling silent. For a minute he remained that way and I began to fear I shouldn't have said that. Just when I was about to apologize for asking, he turned and looked at me.
"I wanna show you something," he said, his brown eyes holding my blue ones. "Would you like to come with me?"
"Um, okay." I nodded. "Sure, I guess."
A couple of minutes later, we headed out of the school building in his dark blue sedan. It seemed like an old car but it was so neat you'd hardly notice. Everything from the inside to the outside was sparkling which had me wondering, was Daniel a neat freak? Well, there was no harm in that right?
About ten minutes later we got to the park where he pulled over at a spot and turned off his car.
"You brought me to the park," I stated with amusement in my tone.
He just said, "Come on."
I got out of the car at the same time that I did and he locked up, then together we made our way toward the main park but we didn't just stop there. We headed on into the secluded parts until we got to a block bench, then he sat down and I did the same.
"This is where I normally come to get my head cleared, Elena," he said after a brief silence. "I have a lot of things I think about. Well, I think a lot. So to put the thoughts at bay, I come here. Now you asked how your words affected me. Here's how. When I was ten my mom left. Left me, my brother, and my dad for another man. Shortly after she died in a car accident. Before that, I became insecure, blaming myself for her leaving, because maybe I was never a good kid to her. And then after she died it got worse because all I kept thinking of was what would've happened if I tried my best to make her stay. Ever since then, I've been battling with insecurity and constant overthinking And because of that, I've never really let anyone in because I always worry something bad would happen to them too. But your words changed that. They made me realize that I was just being silly and selfish to myself with my thoughts, and I deserved to be free and to love. So, yeah, that's it?"
My gaze didn't leave his face when he was done, and neither did he. Everything he said was slowly sinking in as I began to understand the boy before me.
"Once again, I'm happy I gave the speech," I told him, a smile on my lips. He nodded with a smile too but his eyes still didn't leave my face, and I wasn't about to look away either. There was a sudden attraction between us that'd formed after he was done. I felt it, strongly, and I didn't know if he did too, but the next thing I knew, Daniel leaned in towards me, way past my personal space, just like I'd dons with Matthew the first night we kissed . . .