Chapter thirty seven
Just like myself, he'd been thrown out the vehicle during our journey down this dreaded hill.
However, his cuffs had tangled around the side mirror, seemingly difficult for him to unhook himself of. Consequently, he was forced to remain still. He appeared weak, more disoriented and in dire need of aid than I was, certainly because his position must have resulted in more severe injuries. All the while, his pleading stare was on me, repeating his requests for me to save his life.
Seated there away from him, I watched him uncertainly. In all my life, never had I pictured having to see Max this humble, ever.
It surprised me though, how sure he was that I would help, that I would forgive and let go and just…help.
Deep down, it wasn't in me to walk away heartlessly and let him bleed till death. But then, it wasn't also in me to forget.
A part of me convinced me to save our beef for later and get him the help he needed, and fast. While another part kept me sitting there and watching, pondering on my options and which I'd regret later on.
However, almost at once, both our stares fell on the pooling liquid dripping from the car; and by God, I was hoping it wasn't what I thought it was.
Anxiously, I looked around at the little flames which had begun to spread along the dry grassland in random lines, then back at the petrol leaking car.
When my stare met Cooper's own once more, I saw helplessness, fear and even more plea. That was when I made up my mind to help him.
Weakly, I struggled to get my knees to crawl forward and take me to him. Apparently, unhooking those cuffs of his was something I could comfortably carry out if he stayed still.
At that moment, it almost seemed like my mind stopped working and the only thing I had to do was pull him away from there before the fire trails could get in contact with the petrol.
It was strange, but I'd suddenly begun to detest the idea of watching him die, to regret pulling Emily into this and trying to end his life.
I'm not sure, but maybe it was because I'd tasted what the fear of death was like. Certainly something no one should go through.
But then, an explosion came.
Along with a deafening thump sound, the car and everything around it burst into scorching flames, and sadly, that was Max inclusive.
The fiery, bright image filled my eyes in plain torture, with fire reaching so high up it touched some branches.
All the while, I watched weakly and felt my limbs go suddenly numb with shock. Unlike how I'd always pictured Noah's death, this was too sudden, too…quick, no one would have had the chance to flee.
And I'd caused it. That was what hurt most.
It wasn't in me go move anymore; just stare, watch and take in my biggest phobia as it killed someone else, but because of me. Liquid began to pool up in my eyes and down my cheeks already without necessarily any sound leaving my mouth.
Perspiration wet every part of my body, even my palms, right before I felt my consciousness slowly drift away.
Maybe, just maybe, I'd forgotten flames weren't the only part of fire that made it harmful.
The smoke had made it into my body and turned my breathing difficult. Finally, total weakness befell my limbs and I'd returned to the misery of the ground once more. I wasn't sure if I was only losing consciousness or my life as well; but, I thought I saw Simon hover over me as he called out my name.
Or, maybe it was just an illusion.
***
"That was the last time I saw him." Swallowing, I kept my eyes distant, looking into nothing in particular as the thoughts filled my head.
"After he must have understood Max was dead, he rushed me to the hospital in his own car. Turned out Joey did a horrible job at locking down the gym."
I found myself smile at the sentence. Honestly, even after I'd made that order, I knew there was no way it'll keep Simon off my neck permanently…and he did not prove me wrong.
"I stayed there for two months," I rubbed my nape quite tiredly. "Recovering, getting treated…all the while, waiting for my only friend to show up to find out if I was alive or not. However, Simon never came."
It was at that point that I'd asked the personnels if I could make a phonecall.
I'd tried his line without luck, possibly a million times. It kept taking me to voicemail; obviously, he never wanted to speak to me again.
Finally, I'd tried the gym, that was when they told me Simon had left his resignation letter upon my desk and had never shown his face again.
So much for killing four people in the name of revenge and peace.
"I'd drifted into a state of hopelessness, guilt and depression. Thoughts like "lock up the gym forever and go live in a shell" came in. Other times, it was suicide," I laughed with a trail of tears.
After sniffing and taking a glance at them all, I saw the pity in their faces. Raw, unadulterated pity that now felt like a stab in the spine. " I'd made a mess of my life too impossible to fix."
Anyways, even with the emotions keeping me at that part of story for a long time, I chose to move them on to the part my life changed for good.
***