I thought everything was done, but when I know the truth I've better die.
" Su-shi, let's go now your gonna be late"
I replied " Mom, I will be right there" while mom is driving I can't stop myself from not asking mom " Mom I wanna ask "
mom replied " What is it darling? "
I replied " Mom where is dad? " Mom looks uncomfortable " hmm... darling I told you your dad is busy "
I replied " you always says he is busy, he is not calling and didn't come to my birthday, mom aren't you gonna tell the truth? "
mom replied ( crying* ) " your dad has another family darling in Hawaii "
I replied " what? why you didn't tell me? "
mom replied " because I don't want you to think dad your dad doesn't loves you"
I replied " Mom why you should lie, I better know that then, than expecting that dad will come( crying*) I didn't talk to mom since that happen, I sleep in Hujin's house.
" why your dad is like that? "
I replied to Hujin " I don't know"
Hujin replied " Why your mom didn't tell you the truth? "
I replied " because mom is afraid that I will think that dad didn't loves me"
Hujin replied " su-shi you better fight, and live with your loving mom, you should be happy that your mom didn't leave you too"
I replied " yup your right" I go back home and begging mom to let me come home again,
" darling your always welcome here, I am your mom"
I hug mom and cried a lot,
" your the best mom, please don't leave me, I'm sorry mom for leaving you home alone, I'm sorry"
mom replied " it's okay darling, everything gonna be fine, go upstairs and sleep okay? "
I replied " yes mom, goodnight, I love you" I can't stop thinking about that, but I have a plan to go Hawaii and find dad.
I go back reading novels and reading comics, I wanna forget everything and make myself comfortable and happy. I help mom all the things she want to do, and even helping mom preparing meals, I wanna live with my mom forever. I want to meet Jiho and confess to him that I like him. I go shopping and bring a gifts for Kyuro, I wanna make her happy as long as she live.
" Kyuro, you should be strong okay? "
she replied " of course I will" we laugh and make a better day for us, whatever my pain I don't even care it now as long us I live with people who loves me. We are having a pictorial for our graduation because this will be this month we will graduate in college. I go to school everyday I am so busy preparing for graduation and even studying so hard to pass all the exams. While we are so busy Jiho is also visiting us in my home bring snacks and food to us. He is so very sweet to me and to Kyuro and Hujin, I feel so great, I fall in love with him again and again. I can't stop my eyes looking at him, while he is cooking a food, I help him too and it feels like a paradise, it looks like he is my boyfriend already.
" su-shi, come on let's eat"
I replied " sure, what about them"
he replied " they already eaten "
I replied " are you sure? "
he replied " just eat, it's good" I taste the food he cook and it's delicious " it's really taste good, I like it" I feel so happy, that I am eating with my favorite man. Kyuro and Hujin was confusing,
" Why didn't you invite us? "Hujin said,
I replied " huh? haven't you eaten already guys? " Kyuro replied " yeah"
I replied " Jiho.... (shouting*) why are you so... " we are running all the time and it's fun, I really like it. I wanna do it everyday.
I tell hujin that I will confess to Jiho I like him, and Hujin is supporting me, I really like my friends they were good to me, I really love being with them forever. I go to cafe that night because I know Jiho will be there, so I wait him until he is out. I saw kyuro, so I call her.
" Kyuro (shouting*)" she look at me with a big smile "
su-shi ( waving*) " she walk towards me " su-shi, what are you doing here? "
I replied " I will wait Jiho, I want to talk with him"
she replied " oh, okay"
I replied " what are you doing here? "
she replied " I came here everynight to get Jiho, because after his work we will go to a restaurant to eat, because he can't cook "
I replied " oh, that's sweet, he really take care of you, I should be thankful he take care of you (change mood*) "
she replied " yeah, I am so happy I meet him"
I replied " maybe I should go home, bye" I walk away and go home, I thought I can tell Jiho that I have a feelings for him, but I guess it's useless.
I tried to focus again and again, and forget Jiho but my heart still finding him. I text Jiho,
" can we meet at the sea, in your hometown? "
I wait his reply, it almost 4 hours but I didn't see anything a message. (beep*) I saw my phone ringing and had a message from Hujin, I was so happy but it turn sad because I thought it was Jiho,
" Su-shi, let's go to the mall" I message Hujin back,
"I'm sorry but I don't want to go outside" she message back "okay I understand, take your time"
I wait another hour to see if Jiho agree, but it wasn't, it's already night,I didn't see any message, so I wait until tomorrow.
" su-shi, you have a visitor, get up" I woke up and shock , huh? visitor?
" Mom who was it"
mom replied " it was a boy, Kyuro's friend " I was so excited cause I know it was Jiho, so I get up and take a wash.
" Oh, Jiho your here"
he replied " I came here, because you want to talk right? "
I replied " actually yes"
he replied " so what is it? "
I replied " let's go to river first and have a drink" while we are looking bat the trees and flowers, I call my maid to get a drink and to eat.
" By the way Jiho, how's your work? "
he replied " it's fun I like it, but so tired sometimes "
I replied " I understand, work is always so tired"
he replied " what do you want to say? "
I replied " ammhh, how about Kyuro? is she still okay is her cancer is not worse? "
he replied " I take care of her and I think her cancer is going down now, not worse anymore, I wanna tell something to Kyuro but I felt so annoyed haha"
I replied " Just tell Kyuro, she will be happy I think "
he replied " I will make her happy and bring a lot of gifts for her"
I replied " what do you want to tell to her, maybe I could help? haha"
he replied " I wish she would agree"
I replied " so what is it, let's help it" I am so excited, and feel happy for Kyuro for what is it, but when he say it, I feel uncomfortable and speechless, I have no chance to tell him.
" I like Kyuro , but I couldn't tell her I like her, I just keep it, and wait for the perfect time, but I am so happy she is with me, she looks like she is my wife already "
I replied ( low voice *) oh, that's good, I could help "
I didn't mean anything bad, so I only show a big smile on Jiho's face. After our long talk, I don't feel I have a chance when she already like Kyuro since they meet, I was expecting I am the girl he likes but I was wrong too wrong, I feel bad for hurting kyuro when the boy I love is already in love with her, I feel stupid but I didn't show to them what I feel.
Next morning I woke up in a very sad day, because today I will help Jiho to confess and I go to Hujin to tell everything, but she just say
" Su-shi we have nothing to do with that, we have no choice and I couldn't fix it, but let's support Kyuro because we want her to be happy right? before she leaves? "
I replied " yeah, I should think that haha" After talking we go to the mall and buy some staff for Kyuro, I was so happy for her but I couldn't stop my tears from telling the truth, when Jiho ask me after he says, I can't speak but I just sit and drink some juice. After that day I just rest from crying because I know I dont have any choice, but to support my friend, they are already a couple, I just stepped out and silent.