QUEEN
“Just what the fuck!”
“Loser!”
My face was crumpled the moment I opened my eyes. I just woke up because of my brothers' noise and when I get down I saw them playing snake and ladder. It was Sunday and it was already 10 am in the morning.
“Morning Queen.”
"Good Morning! You should eat breakfast now. We also buy some pizza." they chorused with matching wide grins before diving back into their game.
"Idiot, move your piece!"
"Haha. I see my younger brother is already annoyed coz I'm almost on 100. Fix that anger issues of yours."
"Ahh, Hahaha deserve."
"NO!" I massage my temples and forehead. I don’t know how come they did have that toy.
"Please lessened the tone of your voice?"
"It was King."
"Minimize your voice, please," I said with a smile and they nod still continuing their squabble in hushed tones.
"It's your fault." They started to whisper, blaming each other. I sighed and eat as I watch the two of them continue playing, this time it was chess. They were whispering to each other and then will laugh. I was about to call them because it looks like they were talking about me but my phone rang.
It was an unregistered number so I didn't answer it then, minutes after that I received a message.
Good Morning, Diamond, this is Ivy one of your classmates. I just want to tell you that we already found a make-up artist, and we have already ready a dress for you. Just get into the University early tomorrow. Thank you!
10:08
I immediately replied to this Ivy girl. If I am right that Ivy is the one who listed my name on the participants. After this, I will delete her phone number. I'm still annoyed at her for making a decision like that without asking me.
To: Ivy
Good Morning, about the make-up artist it's fine. I was planning to do my make up, and for the clothes, I had already ready them. No need to worry.
10:11
From: Ivy
Okay, I see. Then see you at the university.
10:13
I didn't reply back and continued to eat. I rolled my eyes, tossing my phone aside. The audacity of her! My mood soured further then I heard another murmur from them and when I look at them, they are seriously playing.
I want to hit them. I don't know why but they're kinda annoying today.
Tomorrow is the pageant and I’m think if I should just don’t attend?
They are already angry at me, why not reach it to the max?
"Queen, your milk." I look at him as he handed me a glass of milk with a warm smile.
"Thank you."
"What are you thinking about?" he sat on my bed and brushed my hair. I put the glass of milk on the table beside my bed and hug my brother. "Hmm, is there a problem?"
"Nothing, I'm just nervous I don't want to go to the university tomorrow," I said almost a whisper.
"Why not? You can do it, if we graduate you can continue modeling. I’m sure you miss the spotlight."
"Hmm, I'll think about it. You see I’m not sure on what to do when I graduate."
"I love you, Queen. Your worries are nothing because you’re strong."
"…I love you too." I whispered back.
"Drink your milk first then go to bed early. Good night."
"Good night."
The next day I woke up with a heavy heart. I sighed the moment I opened my eyes.
“This is it.” Hesitantly, I still get up from my bed and go to bathroom and get shower. After that I do my make-up, I didn't put too much and when I was satisfied with my look I started to put my things in my bag. I will retouch my make-up once I arrived at the university.
When I get down my brothers are already done eating so I just make a quick breakfast. But I feel like throwing it up all.
"Wait I'll just start the car." I nodded and then I received a text from Ivy that they are already on their way to university.
To: Ivy
We are also on our way.
09:16
At exactly one pm the pageant will start, and we have the last practice at 10 and after that, there will be a basketball tournament. When we arrive, they just check my face and didn't ask to see my clothes. When it was already 10 when we arrived I then bid my goodbye to my brothers and we all gathered and started to practice. After two practices we are now finally done.
We watch the basketball after that and I was surprised to see my brothers playing.
"Idiot make some three!" I shouted and they all look at me, why?
After the play, I retouch my make-up and get dressed.
"Queen."
"Hey."
"Here." I drink the Gatorade that Ace gave me. "You look especially beautiful today," I smirk and he laughed.
"I know right."
"Yeah, wait let's take you some pictures. Smile." I smiled at the camera and he take many pictures of me, then he asked Ivy to take us some pictures. I think it was just 10 takes when King arrived.
"Wait, you go there Ace I want a picture with her alone."
"Really King? Don’t be so-so and just pose. There is no need for me to leave."
"Go. You have some picture with Queen alone while I don't? That's unfair dude.” Then Ace go and take the phone. He was glaring at King.
“Smile.”
“Make me handsome more if I am ugly in that picture I will kill you."
"Why will you get shocked? it's a fact that you are ugly."
"Shh, stop that. Now smile!" I smiled widely and they take the picture of me with King. Then after some shots Ace ask one of them to take pictures of us three. When they were satisfied they finally leave me alone.
"Did you already eat?"
"Hmm. I can't eat too much because the dress was tight."
"But you're already thin."
"That is why it still fits in me."
"You want some food or drink?"
"It's fine, if I drink too much I will just end up in the washroom."
"King!" I look at the girl who called King and she was also the girl last time. Hmm. But I don't like her, then another girl showed up.
"Ahh... Ace." Oh, she is the girl who Ace followed.
So, what's going on?
"Hi." The two of them go near to Ace and King. And my eyebrows automatically raised when the two idiots smiled widely.
"Can I ask a favor. We need to move the boxes in the gymnasium I need your help. If it's okay with you." I watch how she plays with her hair and looks sweetly at King. That is one of the things that my brother like. He will say yes. Damn it.
"Sure, let's go?"
"Ah, A-Ace there is a pizza there you want to try?"
"Sure."
“Great! There is also some Milk tea there.”
Everything is now clear to me, if my hunch was right, they like each other.
"We'll be back when the pageants start."
"Hmm." I smiled at them and watch their backs. So lonely...
I was waiting for minutes in the room when Ivy called me. They are calling the contestants that we should be at the backstage because the pageant will start after 15 minutes. I was nervous on our way to the gymnasium. There will be a lot of students who will watch me with contempt. Can I handle that?
We were waiting at the backstage when a loud music started, then the emcee started the introduction. Because of the loud beat of my heart, all I heard was the 88th anniversary of Cornelle University, No I don't want to go there.
I was about to leave when someone stop me.
"Are you okay?" I nodded.
"Let's give a round of applause to The candidates of year 20**." They started to walk and I don't have a choice to move, I was fifth in the line and when we already made a straight line, I saw how many students watch the pageant.
The crowd started to yell, and I calm myself. I will be a laughing stock if I didn't do it right.
"Bachelor of Science in Accountancy, Diamond Imperial." as I started to walk with a blank face. When I saw my brothers in the crowd, they wave their hands and I smiled. After that, we change our clothes for the casual attire.
After I change my clothes, I was welcomed by Ace.
"You look breathtaking beautiful while walking there." Then he wave his camera and I smiled, at least the nervousness was now gone.
"I like how you smile in the end."
"Let me see it, what if I'm ugly there? I was nervous the whole time."
"No, you're not." After 5 minutes we all walked again for the formal attire. I was about to leave because it was already done but I didn't expect what the emcee said next.
"And next is the talent portion. Be ready, we will start after 10 minutes."
What?
I tried to look for Ivy and there I saw her talking to her friends.
"You look beautiful there!"
"You said there is no talent portion." I said then catch my breath in the end.
"That is what we know. Promise."
"No, I won't do it and the next will be Q and A so, no, All I know is there will be no Talent portion and Q and A. I’m not ready." I said and turned my back.
"Diamond please, it was about to end. Can’t you just do an impromptu there? You’re that smart so you can do it. For our department?"
"No, I won't. I don't have any talent."
"I heard there is a talent portion? Did you practice anything?" My brother said and I frowned. I then remove the number in my clothes and walked out.
"Where are you going?"
"I quit."
"But Queen." I closed my eyes and raised my hands to stop them.
"They said there will be no talent portion, but fuck what was that? I didn't prepare anything how can I fucking perform on that stage?"
"We will about start in a minute… candidates please be ready."
"Please Diamond." I shake my head.
"I don't have any talent," I said and she claps her hand.
"Lip-sync."
"Yes, pretend that you were singing and Aliyah will sing in the backstage."
I rolled my eyes so they plan to humiliate me in front of everyone. What an idiot I am.
"Are you ready to see our candidates show their talents!?"
"Yessss!!!"
"Let's start now with candidate number 1. Please let’s give her a round of applause!"
"Diamond?"
"Give me your guitar King." He then nod at me and started to run when he was back he gave it to me and I walked past to them. I have no time to practice in the backstage, and I sighed and had no choice but to perform it.
I was having a hard time remembering the chords when my name was called.
"Candidate #5 Diamond Imperial." I gulped and step from the stage. I survey the faces that were watching me, I saw the Judges and my brothers at the back. They were with Ivy and there I saw Vermont watching me.
"You can do it!" I sighed and started to sing.
"In another life, I would make you stay So I don't have to say you were the one that got away."
I sang the first line and they reacted.
"Woahh!"
"Is that for real?"
"Summer after high school, when we first met
We'd make out in your Mustang to Radiohead
And on my eighteenth birthday, we got matching ta-"
"Ahh stop." Huh? I look at the judge with wide eyes.
"I'm sorry?"
"Can you try a different song?"
"Ahm..." I look at my brothers and they nod.
"Yes. Your choice of song?" then the female judge smiled at me and said the song.
"Try to sing. I don't wanna live forever."
"Okay."
"Go." Then I started strumming...
"I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home."
Okay, they didn't stop me this time so, I continue singing.
"Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'd call.
It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all."
I miss you...
"Baby, baby, I feel crazy. Up all night, all night, and every day
Give me something, oh, but you say nothing
What is happening to me?"
"I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain.
And I don't wanna fit wherever
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home.
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home."
And when I open my eyes, I don't know why I suddenly locked eyes with Vermont. How come I did look at him, such a coincidence.
He was seriously watching me then I avert my gaze. That was uncomfortable.
"I'm sitting eyes wide open, and I got one thing stuck in my mind.
Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life,
oh Baby, baby, I feel crazy Up all night, all night, and every day
I gave you something, but you gave me nothing. What is happening to me?"
I want to hear your voice too, calling my name...
"I don't wanna live forever,
'cause I know I'll be living in vain. And I don't wanna fit wherever
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home."
Please... I'm begging. I really want to hear your voice.
"I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home."
Just once.
"Until you come back home." as I finish singing and a lone tear escape from my eyes. I wiped it and sighed.
I miss you. Always. I love you.
They clap their hands and I slightly bow my head.
"A while ago we stop you because we thought you, we're doing a lip sing. Sorry if we do interrupt you."
I'm sorry.
"Ah yes... No worries."
"I love your voice."
"Thank you."
They clapped their hands once again and I immediately left the stage, then I immediately hugged my brothers.
"I think I need to breathe. I want to leave now."
"Where do you want to go?"
"I want to be alone."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
I thought I had already accepted the fact that he was gone.
But it’s still in here. I’m still guilty that I am the one who cause that. Because of me he died.
“I’m really sorry.”
—IAmRoseee
Songs
The One That Got Away - Katy Perry
I Don't Wanna Live Forever - ZAYN, Taylor Swift