ZEVADIAH 🍂 17
   As cliche as it sounds, I guess people call it 'love at first sight', it all started six years ago when I transferred to an international private school after my dad's parents passed away in Saudi Arabia. We had to go back in the Philippines where I was born, where my mom was originally born. 
   Yes, I grew up in Saudi, and my family travels a lot in Switzerland and Ukraine time by time but that didn't mean I forget my family's origin. My great great grandparents was originally a Filipino, their daughter married a swiss man and the history of our family went on. Sometimes I don't feel that I belong to my other relatives, you know it's kind of difficult where you belong when you usually grew up in a mixed race family. I had to blend in and that includes to learn languages, cultures, and the history but after my dad's parents passed away, my mother decided to go back home. Philippines. The origin of our family. Where it all started, I may not have the full blood of being a filipino but it's a country where I only feel home and belong. 
   If i didn't go back to the past, right now where I'm no longer decided to be a coward, I think my future is a future I no longer want to live with. I need her as much as I need to breathe and without her in my future means I'm no longer alive. I'm just a shell, people can see me physically but I'm already empty inside.
   The first time I laid my eyes on her six years ago, I know it sounds crazy and absurd but I was sure time stopped and all I could see was her looking back at me. I swear that time stopped for like a seconds and since that day she was always in my mind. Parang sirang plaka na umiikot sa isipan ko ang una naming pagkikita. And I've had crossed the line, I thought of marrying her, having kids with her like a thousand times, I was creating a future together with her. I thought I was crazy, I couldn't get her out of my mind, I went into therapy for a fucking two whole years. I was mad and confused to what's gotten into me. Mad... because I met her and that she's occupying my head every single damn time, that she's hard to forget. Confused to why it was happening to me. I mean did she do witchcraft on me?
   Man, it was tough until I realized, I fell deeply the moment I laid my eyes on her that day. Love at first sight. I never knew that could happened to me and that even exist. Okay, it was new and like a coward I hid what I felt towards her, watched her from far afar. Obsessed about her, I just, you know, a coward who was always afraid of being rejected because there's so much what if's inside my head. She was the first person who did this to me and fuck me because being rejected--i've never been rejected. Let alone by someone who made me crazy.
   Until one day...she died. I knew her step-father hurt her after Tita Tina lost the baby, Atlas even tried to molested her but I...being a fucking coward for fucks sake only watched from afar. And I hated my old self for that. Blimey. I wish I could strangle myself for letting that happened, for not stepping in to protect her from him. That's why I promised to myself that no matter happen, I'll protect her  this time. Who cares about messing up the fucking timeline if I can't save her?If I can't protect her? That maybe I went back into the past to have a second shot at love with the woman I couldn't even protect before. I don't wanna go back into the future, my future isn't my future without her by my side. 
  I'm aware that my days here aren't that much longer anymore. That one day I might leave her, the hourglass is halfway through and I'm gonna do everything to keep her alive, even if it cost my life. Screw me, I must save her. If I have to kill to just save her then I'll do it without a doubt. I was a coward, fuck , I couldn't even protect her but not this time. 
   What I feel toward her will never change, in fact it grows stronger but screw it all, considering damn well that she's starting to have feelings for me too. She has feelings for me and forget about that damn guy named Lucas, Fawn is no longer into him. She's mine and I'm territorial. She might not admit her feelings, yet. But I already knew. She's mine, mine to protect, mine to bow to, mine to respect, mine to love and mine alone. Fawn De los Santos is mine. Loud and clear.
   And right now I'm still pissed after the incident happened 10 minutes ago in the school. I drove us here in my grandparents house with Felly. I'm trying to calm the fuck down while Felly and Fawn is on the couch quite far behind me in the living room.
   "I'm gonna go and help Tita prepare for the dinner." I glance at Felly behind me before she eyed me. "You watch her." she added and went directly into the kitchen. I sigh and sit down next to Fawn. She never uttered a word since we left the shool. 
    "Hey," My jaw clench when she didn't move an inch and just stare before her. "Liebsti..." Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya na nakapatong sa hita niya at marahan itong minasahe, a sigh of relief when she finally look at me. "Talk to me. You know it's scaring me when you're silent like this." Using my free hand, I cups her cheek and gently stroke it using my thumb, just above her lips. 
   "Zevadiah..." my name suits better when she say it. Damn, it's no time for this. 
   Still massaging her hand on her lap, I manage to smile at her. "Yes, it's me." my hand on her cheek slowly went down to the side of her neck, "Are you okay now? Do you want something or maybe me, perhaps?" I'm trying to lighten up her mood and probably mine to keep myself from being pissed. "You can have me all you want. Just so you know."  I wink at her but nagsalubong ang kilay niya.
   "Are you high?" I chuckle when she asked me if I'm high. God, there's nothing funny but I just couldn't help myself from smiling at her own question at me. 
   Tipid akong umiling and lean my forehead against hers, glad she didn't move back. "What if I am?" I asked, voice slow. "What are you gonna do, liebsti?"
   "Maybe you go to the rehab center. I suggest." She said, couldn't even look at me straight into my eye. Her breathing is not even, the tip of our noses touch. A smile form into my face. I have an effect on her. Good. 
   "Hmm, do you still like me even if I'm high though?" She close her eyes as I keep asking her questions this close. "Eyes on me, liebsti." I tried to sound serious as I should be.
   "You're so close." She open her eyes and meet mine. "Stop doing this to me, Zev."
   "Yet, you're not pushing me away instead you let me do this without protesting. Why is that?" My face remains serious, at least I'm trying to hold back not to kiss her. Not now. 
   "Zev, please..."
   "Please, what exactly, Fawn? Tell me." Don't fucking kiss her, Zevadiah Braun Rizal. At least not now.
   "Stop..."
  "Stop what?"
   "Stop... touching me. Stop being this so close."
   "Why?"
   "It's doing the thing inside my stomach again. People call it butterflies in the stomach but it's kind of a weird feeling." I move back my forehead against her, putting distance between us before I held up the hand that's on her lap, that I've been holding and place it before my lips. "Zev..." her breathing hitch as I kiss her palm, my eyes still on her. 
   "Past or present, I always choose and love you. That will never change, Fawn." 
   "Why? I mean what do you saw on me? I just don't get it."
   "Do you believe in love at first sight? You know it's sounds cliche but do you believe it?" 
   "Are you for real?...I don't believe that exist. It's even hard to believe until now that you're from the future."
   "Well, I'm the witness. And for the record, liebsti, love at first sight really exist and you're that person I laid eyes on. First and last. Don't argue with me." 
   "The first doesn't always mean the last, Mr. Rizal. It doesn't really mean that if I'm the first who made you love me, feel love for the first time doesn't really mean I'm the last too. "
   I sigh, "I told you not to argue with me, Miss De los Santos."
   "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just stating real truths. I mean it happened to a lot of people, it could happen to you too. I guess first love is just a lesson, a lesson that will teach you a lot of things. Open your eyes to reality." 
   "Well then I'm going to make sure you're the last." 
   "You're persistent on making me the last love?"
   "First and last, Fawn. If that's not gonna happen I'm going to slit my throat for real." I'm one hell of a serious when it comes to her. Making her mine.
   She shake her head, "You're nuts. Are you sure you don't need therapy?" 
   A smirk form in the corner of my lips, "Been there not going back."
   "For how long?"
   "Two years. You wanna know why I went to therapy for that long?" she nods at my question. "Because of you."
   Her eyes widen in shock. "Ain't no way..."
   "Surprised. Now. Shall we head back into the kitchen and help your mom and Felly prepare dinner?" I finally let go of her neck and stand at the couch, pulling her up from sitting on it. Still not letting go of her hand as we head inside the kitchen. 
   (Day 17, Saturday)
   "Where are you heading early this morning?" I glance up at my mom sitting across from the table and put down my fork on the table just beside my plate. 
   "Granny's." 
   "Mhm, are they still there? Maybe we should visit." Dad look at me before mom beside her. "I wanna meet this lucky woman our son has his eyes on." before he sip the coffe from his mug and look at me again. 
   My parents haven't meet Fawn since it's been a month we arrived in here, in the Philippines. 
   "Yeah, you should see her. She's quite pretty that's why Z loves her already." Selene commented beside me. She's eleven and she hates it here. She hates the climate just to be clear. I used to hate it too, it's so hot and the climate is really different from Europe. 
   "It's not about her appearance, sel. It's called love at first sight." I pointed out and look at her. 
   She grimace, "That's kind of gross. I don't wanna experience that kind of thing." 
   I chuckle and ruffles her hair which I know she hates, "One day... you'll experience it too."  she snap my hand off her hair.
   "No thanks." she even rolls her eyes at me and I pinch her cheek. "Aw! No pinching, Z!" 
  "Let's see when that happens." I squeeze Selene's cheek more. 
   "Aw! Let go of my cheek you cheeky bastard." I chuckle when she even try to slap my wrist but I suddenly let go, she ended up slapping mid-air. 
   "Language, Selene." Dad warned and I wink at her but she stomp on my foot under the table causing me to wince. I glare at her, she stick out her tongue. 
   "Kiddos, it's no time for a bickering. Not in the dining table." Mom even interjected. "We have to go and meet your soon to be part of this family Selene. So behave yourself." that made me smile. 
   I knew for a fact that Selene and I always fighting, nah it's just a typical siblings wrath. There's nothing to worry, although sometimes we get physical. It's how and Selene and I spend our time. I used to knocked her down on the floor like a WWE wrestler and she's always a fighter. A tough one at her age. She loves wrestling, boxing and she even joined the taekwondo club three blocks away from our house.
   Minutes later as my parents prepare to meet Fawn, meanwhile Felly texted me that she and Lucas are heading to meet Fawn. Crap. I don't want that old man near my woman. 
   "I'm gonna head off first, Dad! Mom! Selene! Just meet me at Granny's home!" I yelled from downstairs.
   I run. Yes, I literally run to my granny's home. It's not far, just a walking distance. As soon as I reach the front door I push open the main door while still catching my breathe. I look fool but fuck that, Lucas is not welcome inside my grandparents property. While my hands are both rested on my knees, breathing like I run a fucking marathon for fucks sake. I glance up when I heard footsteps approaching before standing up straight. 
    Nagsalubong ang kilay na tinignan ako ni Fawn, "Huh, morning. What's gotten into you to work up today? You're sweating." 
   I look around the house, good, no sight of Lucas. I stride near the couch in the living room and take a sit on it. Fawn went inside the kitchen and when she come back, she handed me a half glass of warm water. 
   "So, you decided to take a jog earlier?" she asked, I put down the empty glass on the center table. While she sit across from me on the couch.
   "Kinda. It's a good day to jog earlier today so I did." I calmly say to her.
   She nods, "You did jog. You didn't seem like a wild dogs were after you, running to save your own life from them." I sense something that she already knew why I'm here. Fuck. "Felly called me like five minutes ago that she will be here with Lucas. Probably she told you that after she called me." I cussed myself. Am I too obvious for her? I force a fake smile at her, she roll her eyes at me. "Go upstairs and change your shirt. You might get skin infections." oh? She remembered that?  I bit my lower lip trying to stop myself from smiling. 
   Don't smile, idiot.  But she looks like a woman, my woman who busted her man but still cares. Without a care, I take off my shirt across from her seat before standing up. She's got no reaction at first but I saw a little smile on her lips before she cover it with her hand. "Yes, liebsti." before I turn my back on her with a wink. 
   "Wait! Hold on, Zev." I stop walking and turn to face her, still sitting on the couch. That's a 'fawn' tattooed on your back." Glad she noticed that. That's why I took off my shirt. Fast eyes. 
   "Yes. It is." I slowly walk back into her direction. "I got it a year after I met you from the future, that means a year after this past. Reminds me of you. Now, sit still and don't move..." I say at umupo sa carpet sa sahig kung saan nasa likod si Fawn na nakaupo padin sa couch. "Look closely, it's your name that formed into that 'fawn'." a moment of silence before I feel her touch on the tattoo on my back causing me to hold my fucking breath. One touch and my mind is already in chaos. Damn it. 
   "A fawn using my name. It's...a beau." I close my eyes and gulp, barely holding my sanity as she slowly trace her fingertips on my tattoo. 
   A sudden footsteps come close but i didn't dare move. Her touch is the only thing I need right now. Screw visitors.