Ririka's words made Ness listen intently. There was no denying that his heart ached quite a bit. He increasingly realized how bad he was to make his wife experience such a deep feeling of satisfaction. The tightness in her chest was beyond words. It felt like his whole world collapsed in an instant.
If only he had listened to everything she said, before the feelings he didn't understand came. Maybe he would have defended himself, then explained that he was not intentionally indifferent when she needed him. But now? Of course he couldn't do that, when reality hit him so hard. How could he possibly explain that he himself was feeling adrift in his own life, trapped in his own world and selfishness.
“Ririka ....” Ness tried to call out to his wife, but he was stopped in his tracks as he thought of the right words, but it was all in vain. He felt like he had to accept the truth that his wife had just revealed. Where the truth felt like a bitter pill to swallow.
Ness was sure she had never felt this filled with doubt before. But this time everything felt so different, it no longer felt the same as before.
“There are no words that can describe my regret, Ririka. I know these words will never be enough for you to erase the great wrong I have done. I know I have failed as a husband, failed as your companion, and failed as a human being who should care for his fellow man,” Ness said for the first time in a trembling voice, which the man tried to say while holding back the tears that were about to fall.
It was unbelievable for Ririka to find her husband, who often ignored her. Now to apologize in front of her. Although surprised by Ness's behavior that she could not believe.
Ririka continued to stare at Ness with a gaze full of anger and disappointment. Her heart had been broken for so long, it was impossible to forgive Ness just like that. Even inside her heart, there was still an ember of anger that was very difficult to extinguish. “What do you want to say? What can you do now? What is the meaning of your regret after everything has been destroyed? What does your apology mean to me Ness?” she hissed in a voice filled with deep hurt.
Again, Ness felt a sharp pain in her heart. Hearing the statement that came out of Ririka's mouth made him feel like a hell-dweller who could not escape the flames of regret.
“I don't know, Ririka. I don't know... how to fix all this. But I promise you, I will do everything I can to fix myself, to fix us. I promise, I will try to be the husband you need, even though I know it might be too late for you,” he said in a voice that sounded so full of regret.
Ririka sighed deeply, her eyes still filled with the remnants of her tears. “I don't know, Ness. I don't know if I still have the strength to trust you again. I've even been thinking and planning how our relationship will end one day. And it seems like I'm getting closer and closer to the end,” she said in a low, shaky voice.
Ness swallowed, trying to hold back the tremors in her body. He knew that Ririka would explode. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he had to try. He still wanted to fight for their love, even though he understood that his path was littered with thorns and debris left over from their past mistakes.
***
3 Months Later ....
It had been almost 3 months since Sae had heard anything from Ririka. Sae had tried to contact her several times and unfortunately received no reply at all.
I don't know what happened to Ririka. But Sae herself felt that it seemed like Ririka doing this must have had something to do with their fight on the hill back then.
Sae actually really wanted to see Ririka. But he realized that he was nothing to her. He was just a man in a relationship with a woman who already had a husband.
That's why he realized how his status would only cause further problems. If he acted rashly. Waiting to hear from her was the only course of action he could take.
Although until now, he had not heard from her. Indeed, he hoped to keep waiting for definite news from Ririka.
“What do you think you're doing right now, Ririka?” muttered Sae who was standing on the beach. She had just gotten off work and stopped by the beach, just to unwind for a while. Staying in that place while thinking about Ririka's news.
PUK
Sae could feel someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned her head quickly to see who had done this to her. And when his eyes caught sight of the figure, he was surprised to see Ririka behind him.
“Ririka? Where have you been all this time?” Sae touched Ririka's hand.
Ririka smiled. She didn't move her hand away when Sae tried to touch it.
“I was surprised that you could worry about me like this. Well this does prove that you are different from her,” Ririka said with a happy look on her face.