They brought me here yesterday, and I happened to spend the night, and will also spend again here today, as well as the other days until they decide on what to do with me.
Last night was really traumatic, I woke up three different times, sweating, dreaming of the same moment, the moment where I was useless and couldn't do anything to save my one and only friend. Of what use am I to him when I couldn't protect him, it all happened before me, yet I couldn't do anything.
The same scene played in my dream three different times, but in all the three, I can remember all he had said, it was three different speeches, but the same moment. On the first, it was an argument between us, he had told me that Blake was the love of his life, but I wasn't the real friend I used to be on that part, rather, I was criticizing him, badmouthing him, and even asked him to jump, best he die than stay here and making a fool out of himself, on the next, we wasn't arguing, rather, he was begging me to save him, I struggled, I tried as hard as I can, but it felt like I couldn't move, like something was drawing me back while I struggled to reach him, I stood there and watched him disappear from my sight as he fell off, on the third, the third was something related to what really happened in reality, but this time, the table was turned around, this time, he has decided to eliminate himself for something I had done, I was pleading and pleading, but no, he has already made up his mind, so he jumped.
I was seated on the floor inside the jail, doing nothing, but my mind elsewhere, I didn't even realize when two officers came into the cell, until I felt their hands holding me up as they dragged me to a dark room which has only one light on the center, the angles of the walls looking deem, only the table on the center has light on it.
They kept me down to seat, my handcuffs no longer chained behind, rather before me. They walked away, leaving me there alone. I was just being me, stoic, that's how I had trained myself, be gentle in every situation, even when the case goes against me, don't show emotions, just keep calm and don't panic under pressure.
The door opened, a Man walking in, holding onto his side, a file which he forcefully dropped on the table thinking that I'll bulge and react to his taunts, because this can't be classified as a threat.
“ Heard you did it out of jealousy.... They said that all you wanted was his girl all to yourself because you couldn't resist beautiful women....”
He accused me, seating comfortably, his back resting on the backrest as he kept staring into my face, thinking that he's possibly going to get something like a reaction from me. I was seated up, always sitting agile and ready to take on whatever comes my way. He doesn't look intimidated, but we sure looks like equals right now, even though he's more superior towards me.
I didn't speak, I was just watching, not trying to use any of my dark psychology abilities, because if he gets uncomfortable, he might start using violence, I don't take a punishment that affects my well being, especially for the fact I did nothing wrong, apart from those beating I got from Dad when I was just a boy who knows nothing but chase after love that keeps running away from my reach.
“ If you think that staying silent will get you out of here, then I should break it down for you, you can get charged with more than you already carry on your shoulders, unless maybe you just want to admit the truth we all knew.....”
He said, not showing any sort of concern at all, like he's enjoying this, not even showing any sign of care or reasoning towards his judgement, just taking things like they all always do. His hands were locked together, relaxing really well.
“ Yesterday.... I lost a brother, today.... I'm accused of murder, then tomorrow.... I'm certainly going to be condemned to death.”
He rose up, sitting straight like I was, definitely thinking that this was a game that he's playing. “ There's something about stubborn guys like you, your cases always turns out to be the sweetest and most interesting, I could have tagged you another criminal out there, but right before me, I see two different people. Your physique makes you look like a responsible guy who wants no trouble, but this blank face you're putting on, it's sending another message, that I should do whatever I want, you don't care.... Making you my bad guy, so it's now left for me to choose, which one of this guys are you....”
“ Both...”
I knew that wasn't a question, he was just speaking out his thoughts, but I am trying to make it easier for him, rather than just sit here with me wasting his time and me wasting my peace.
“ So what's your point, are you trying to say that you have nothing to do with Barrett's death.....”
He asked, staring into my eyes, probably changing his way of questioning to see whether he can possibly get emotions from me. I wanted to avoid this psychological stuff, but it's not easy, it's part of me now and there's no changing that.
“ I never said I had a hand in it, but all I say is that I couldn't save him when he was at his lowest.....”
I replied, keeping a straight face. His phone began to ring inside his pocket, he brought it out and answered the call before returning his attention to me. “ I'll fetch for you again when I come back, I just hope you fall into the category I want you to fall in....” he laughed and walked away.