I had decided to relax for the remainder of the week since I have already missed it all through a case I was innocent of. I was just resetting and reorganizing my room which have been left unswept for days, dusty areas, just doing a total cleanup.
A knock sounded on my door, I went an opened up, putting on a blank face to actually ward off whoever it was that have come to my door. It was Khloe, what is she doing here again?, Thought she already left for her classes already, she shouldn't we wasting her educational opportunities.
“ It's Blake, Blake is..... Blake is dead....”
She said, tears rolling down her cheeks like she was hurt, hurt that something have happened to Blake. “ I think you're mistaken Khloe, Blake just called this morning when we were.....shit!...” I grabbed a piece of my clothes and locked the room as I left with her. Blake called, but she disconnected immediately she was done speaking, she just apologized in the call.
On getting to the Lodge she was positioned, the entrance her room were occupied by students who had come to see what happened too. Upon seeing her lifeless body hanging on a rope tied up to the fan hook, I was shocked, I can't contain the sight or the outcome, was this really suicide?, She was stripped naked totally, putting on nothing, leaving herself bare, could she actually have done this to herself?, Disgracing herself in death, knowing that people were going to watch her in shame, why?, Why did she?, I already forgave her, why does she still need to kill herself?, What made her think that this was the best thing to do.
“ This was on the floor.... She wrote it down, saying that anyone that finds it should make sure you get this....”
A guy handed a letter over to me, a letter written by her. ( I still don't think that taking myself away like this can redeem me, I deserve worse, worse than this childish act I have done here compared to the weight of my sin, because of stupidity, I allowed the guy that love me take his life, with that not been enough for me, I was almost about to waste the life of his best friend too, accusing him of something he never did, I am disgusted by my act, I can't watch myself live this life while my lover is all alone over there, I believe I have to do something, anything to pay for my sins here before I cross over, I can't let him bear that grudge for years before going over to him, if I really have to go, it's right now....once again, I apologize for my act and hope you can find a place in your heart to forgive me....)
That was a whole lot of apologizing, can't believe that Blake was gone too, does she really have to do this?, Does she really have to take her life?, Doesn't she think that she can always find a way to heal from this?. I was never a fan of hers, but death wasn't something I wished for her, she passed her limits and now I am feeling that slight guilt that I should've approached her, knowing that she wasn't really herself, not after how everyone treated her yesterday.
I returned back to my room, the paper in my hand, I also still haven't read the one I got from Barrett, so I decided to bring it out and as well give it a read.
( I believe that I am probably dead when you're reading this, I just wanted to let you know that I tried, you might possibly say that I didn't try my best, that I'm a pussy, LoL.... You're the only brother I have Charlie, even though we're two different people in this world, I did learnt a lot from you, being your roommate was the best thing that ever happened to me, I wanted to stay, I wanted to have more life experiences and wins with you, but having Blake dump me and watching her Fucking other guys, it was too much for me to handle, I wouldn't beg you would understand, because you probably won't, but all I can say is that I love you bro.... I'll always do, but remember this, you're human, don't turn yourself into a stone because no one is worthy of your trust, find a girl, love her, don't judge love because of the expectation that came from me and Blake.... Find a girl, love her, you'll be happy that you have at least someone that when get betrayed by her, you'll find an understanding to it, goodbye bro, live a long happy life....)