"Is that the reason why you don't want to talk to me, huh? Who told you that, baby? I don't care if they don't want you as long as for me you're the only one I love."
After what he'd heard earlier, he dragged me away from the cafeteria right after I ate lunch. He put his tray down on my place and didn't even eat it just to take me here to the gazebo and talk to me. He's mad, not on me but because of what I've said.
"It's not about who told me, Caseth. I saw it. I went to the hospital the night before to go to see me," I boldly replied.
There was a look of shock on his face when I said that."Y-You were there? Who was with you? W-Why don't I know?"
"How could you know? It's a secret that Maureen and I entered there because we don't have the right to go up. It was restricted and they won't accept visitors who weren't on the list. Is it my fault that I'm just worried because it's like I'm crazy thinking what happened to your sister... on you? " I asked bitterly.
"But still... I was there the whole time. How couldn't I notice you?" he asked confused.
"I even witnessed how you hugged her back and your parents went out of the room, probably jumping out of joy because of what they saw. Did they ask you if you and Ashley get back together? Oh, I bet yes."
"S-Shara, they were so worried about my sister to think something like that. And that hug? Damn, I was just force to do it because they will scold me for not being nice to her since she saved my sisters life. I don't also want to be bad at her because---"
"Because you're indebted to him, right? Okay, fine. Maybe I was just overreacting and thinking badly of you. But could you blame me? Yes, it was just a simple hug but did you also think about it what do I feel? No! Because you're busy taking care of your sister and being with her at the same time," I cut off his words, catching my breathe.
I tried not to cry. I didn't want to cry in front of him to think I was just acting. That I begged him while facing my resentments. I just... didn't know how to hold it back anymore.
"Baby, listen to me. I was forced to do it, that's all. It's not my intention. I also made a closure for both of us and she promised not to interfere on our relationship anymore. Maybe she could help convincing my parents to accept you," he said in a monotone voice.
I was about to speak when his phone rang. It was facing me when he picked it up so I immediately saw Ashley's name. I immediately look heavenwards so that he wouldn't notice that I saw it. Maybe he's telling the truth but I don't think she will do it willingly. She did changed that fast? Nah. Maybe she just showed it.
When I say it, I still come out bad because I'm making an excuse for us to fight. And it looks like he's defending her. I do not know.
"We're still in a cool off, remember? I want a peace of mind, Caseth. I'm leaving."
He didn't stop me, instead he prefer to talk to his phone. It's up to him. He couldn't do anything even if he stopped me. I leave and leave if I want to.
"Today is Sister Caysn's discharge from the hospital, baby. I'll go there first to pack up our things. Can you catch up later before we leave. I'll put your name on the list," he chased after me so I was stunned for a moment.
I was preparing myself to go into the hospital with Maureen because she insisted to come with me in case what will happen. Though, she just stayed inside her car while I entered alone. I forced myself to calm down while I was in the elevator because I wanted to be okay to look at when I faced them. I turned to the left side, hoping that he's waiting for me but unexpected persons greeted me with a questioning look.
It was Ashley with his parents, standing outside of the room. How could I enter?
"Well, well, well. Look who's there. The so-called-girlfriend of Cahleen. Did he invite you to come here? For what? Will your coming here help, huh?" Ashley asked irritatedly.
I gulped for a couple of times, not knowing what to say."I just came here to know Sister Casyn's condition. H-How is she? Caseth sent me here because tonight is her discharge. Where is he?"
"Casyn and Caseth were sleeping inside so don't bother them. Just go home and we'll tell Caseth that his friend has come. You're just his friend right? Because Ashley is his GIRLFRIEND and nothing else. My son won't be attracted to a low class like you. " Those hurtful words thrown by his mother hit my chest million times.
It's a pain that her mommy says this in front of you. They were telling me that I don't fit for their son... and I hate to say that it's true. A poor woman like me is only for my kind and nothing else.
"Cahleen won't like it if you guys were bullying his girlfriend. He can disobey us just for this girl so stop it." His father look so serious and it's making me nervous.
"I-I'm just leaving. Please let him know I came here." I turned around and walked away quickly.
I was crying silently while making the way to Maureen's car. She was busy putting some light make-up to her face but she stopped after seeing me. Her eyes were full of questioning when she saw me crying and sobbing beside her.
"Hush, babe. I'll take you away from here now. I'm not really going to show you to that boyfriend of yours. He's not aware that you're hurting secretly." She stroked my back so I could settle down and it worked.
But minutes after, I was struggling to breathe again. Mau panicked and gave me the inhaler but it doesn't help me. I still can't breathe no matter what I do and my vision is also blurring. My body is starting to get weak as my eyes closed in tiredness. All I could hear is her curses when I collapsed beside her.
I woke up to the sound of the engine next to me so I woke up immediately. I'm in a hospital again. I tried to search for Mau but the door suddenly opened and the doctor together with Maureen come inside. She's happy to see me awake but there's worry on her face.
"Don't tell Mama I've been admitted. Well go home any minute from now. I need to," I said with difficulty.
She gave me a small smile and nodded."I already texted them that you're in our house and still doing little project. I also said that we'll go home soon and I'll just feed you first. I know that you don't want them to worry so I already made a way."
"T-Thank you..."
The doctor cleared his throat so we both looked at him."I'll be honest with you. As the days go by, her body will weaken and weaken. The medicine that she's taking isn't working at all. I did some examination earlier to make it clear and she has 1 week left before her body will surrender."
Maureen burst into tears at what the doctor said but I remained silent. I know this would happen. That time will finally come and I couldn't take it anymore. I told you, I won't be long either. Everything has the right time and death is getting near.
I'm not scared because I'm looking forward to it again. During these times, only family, friends, and Caseth were on my mind. I-I only have a week left. Would that be enough to spend the whole time with them?
Hopefully... I want to rest with good memories together with the unforgettable persons in my life.
"Bess, don't cry anymore. I still have 1 week so we can still make the most of the days together." I restrained myself from crying because I knew he would just cry.
"T-They have the right to know... S-Shara, I'll tell them. We'll have a bonding and spend the days with you. Please, hold on." She squeezed my hand a little that made me cry.
"What if I can't? The doctor himself said that my body will give up after a week. I can't stop it from happening." I played with her hair as she hugged my waist and cried.
She just cried harder and harder."I-I can't... W-We can't. It's so early. You haven't graduated yet. We still have many dreams that we want to fulfill. I don't want to lose my bestfriend."
"I-I know ... I don't want to either but we can't do anything. It's fate, Maureen."
When we got home, Mau immediately told my parents the news. They cried again and I hate seeing them like that. I just hid in my room and thought of things that could happen. Like, who's gonna occupy this room if I'm gone? Who will wear my clothes?
My diary, I just want to take it to the funeral because it's embarrassing when they read it. My phone? I want to entrust that to Caseth so that he has all our memories.
That's right. I should make a video for him. As well as records so that in case he misses my voice, he could feel that I'm just beside him.
When it was morning, I still felt that way. I felt like it's just normal since first day. I'm counting on my calendar to know the days I've gonna spend on my one week left. Maybe today I'll come in and maybe not tomorrow. If they find out the truth now, they might always tell me to just stay home or we’ll have bonding time.
"Maam, can I have the rest of your hours? I just want to say something to my classmates," I get the attention of our first subject teacher who's also nice to me.
She nodded, probably confused."Yes, sure. Say what you want to say."
I cleared my throat and glanced at Maureen who's pretending that she's not affected."Uh... Hi! I just want to say that, I'm no longer a student starting tomorrow. I'm not a student anymore, really sure. As much as I want to, I couldn't do anything. If I was just holding the time, I hope you slowed down first so we can be together longer. But no, it's really sad."
"Ghorl, we're nervous about you. Just direct us!" hurriedly said Kyla.
"I want our section to remain happy until you graduate. I want Jelo to be the first honor in this section, he will be a salutatorian when ranking. He will replace me to the top and its an order. I want to make the most of it. They said that college life is no joke, so work hard to achieve your goal. Kyla, be straight now. You are Josh, stop being a warfreak and be a good man. Daniela and Fiona, don't be a war freak anymore. Roses and Allison, stay who you are and who you want to be. Steven, don't be so stubborn. Maureen---"
"Stop it! I don't want to listen to you." She stood up from her chair and ran out of the classroom.
She's crying and I know it. She knew I was ordering so he didn't want to hear. She know and get my point. She maybe crying alone right now.
"What's that, Shara?! I don't like what you're saying anymore! Why does it feel like you're leaving?!" Fiona asked me in disgust.
I smiled bitterly and my treacherous tears disappeared."Yes, you're right. I'm leaving. I'm going to a place where it's far away, there's no time, there's no sadness, and most of all no one cares. I hope you'll fulfill it, all I said. Just for me. I want you guys to become a better person someday, a successful one. At least that's all I hope you do for me. Because I couldn't do it on my own."
"Another one, Shara. I'm really going to hit you," Roses joked even though I knew she was going to cry too.
"I'm dying and I couldn't stop it from happening," I answered directly.
I saw how their reaction changes, others were sad and worried while my friends were shocked and about to cry. I also turned around a little to wipe away my tears and be able to continue speaking. But whenever I'm going to face them all, my tears won't stop falling down to my cheeks. It's like it also feels like when he comes out and that's when I face people who have also been important to me.
"You're a liar! Stop this shit, Shara. You're just kidding," Steven said crying.
Josh nodded."Yes. I swear, this is not a good joke. Just sit down again."
"I'm not done yet. I might get up from the pit just to tell you this," I added.
"Shara! What?! I told you to stop it! That won't happen. We can provide for your needs, with your medicines---"
"The doctor said that my body isn't responding to medicines. I don't want to react anymore so I'm getting weak," I cut off Daniela's words.
"But still, you can fight for it. For me, can you fight? You're the inspiration in this class and we don't know what to do without you. You know that I couldn't handle them all by myself, Shara." Jelo's eyes were full of pleading when he said that.
I gave him a convincing smile."You can do it, Pres. I trust on you and you should trust yourself too. Maureen is there to help you, she's my bestfriend. And speaking of her, take care of her too. I love her so much. "
They even cried and Maam joined them. It also hurts to do this thing. But it's also good that I was able to leave them. In that case I can left peacefully without worrying anything.
But there's two person who also needs to know this and I'm not sure if I could take it.