JADE:
I looked at Liam, and I couldn’t control my anger any longer.
So all this time, he was also thinking I was crazy – was that it?
“Jade, that’s not what I was saying -”
“Then what are you saying,” I said while my eyes were still crying rivers of tears against his chest. “Suggesting that I see a psychiatrist, only a fool won’t know what you mean!”
I tried to walk away from Liam’s grasp against me, but his hug only tightened.
“Hon, listen! The captain has a point. Think about it… You went through all those painful experiences in the past, but you never really became open about it with anyone, including me… Wouldn’t those experiences really hurt you in some way? I just want you to seek some form of help.”
“Why would I seek help, huh? Do I look crazy to you? Did you really believe anything I told you back there?”
“I get your point, Jade, but think of it this way… What if you really started identifying with Marian? You did say you have dreams of her, and those dreams are affecting you. You can’t even sleep well nowadays. I’m just worried about you…”
“Well, if you’re worried then, just leave me alone,” I shouted, pushing him away so violently, I staggered a bit backwards.
Liam though just did not let go of my hand. He anchored me back towards his chest.
“Jade, don’t be like this. Please listen to me…”
“I don’t want to listen to you! You never believed me. You and Dianna – you’re both the same! You never believed me about Marian. Now I know why you were so insistent I leave Marian’s case alone. It turned out you only thought I was sick in the head!”
“That’s not it, Jade! I-It’s because I love you! I just wanted what’s best for you because I love you!”
“If you really love me, then quit making decisions for me. I should be the only one who makes decisions for myself! Whether I stop or not about my raving for Marian’s case, you shouldn’t care! Just leave me alone!”
“No,” Liam roared. He held my wrist tightly as if he intending to break it. “I won’t leave you alone, Jade!”
“Why not? You don’t own me!”
“You’re wrong, Jade. You’re mine. I know you are mine!”
I clawed away at Liam’s hands. He really didn’t want me to leave based on how strong his grip was.
“Let go,” I said, my eyes still dripping with tears. The hand he was clasping was already feeling tingly as my blood supply had been cut away from it by Liam’s grasp.
“Hey, Mr. Cruz, let her go!”
It was Captain Rigdon, the police man I loathed who came to my rescue.
Liam seemed reluctant, but he slowly eased his grip against me. I yanked myself away from his grasp and fingered my wrist.
“This is just a simple misunderstanding, captain,” Liam said, his face turning quite soft – a look that was so in contrast with his enraged features moments ago.
Was this the same person I had been with all this time?...
“Why are you making a scene on the street? If the two of you will be like this, just go back inside the restaurant and sort this out calmly,” the police officer thundered.
“No thank you,” I shouted at the top of my lungs before I turned my back and walk away from the two of them.
“Jade,” I heard Liam shout, but I didn’t turn back. I was too far angry at what he did just now.
“Mr. Cruz,” I heard Captain Rigdon’s voice from behind too. “I need to talk to you about something…”
I didn’t stay put to hear what they were going to talk about. I’ve had enough for today.
I walked further to the main street where many cars would pass by.
I was unaware of anything but the grief in my own heart. Although my tears had stopped falling down now, my face still looked like a mess. I must be looking awful.
It took some time before I was able to board a taxi.
“Where to miss?”
I gave him the address of my dorm curtly.
How did Liam and I end up like this?... Was this really all my fault?...
Maybe I was really sick in the head. Maybe I just imagined all those things I’ve seen in my dreams. Maybe I read between the lines of Marian’s diary too much that I started obsessing about her unhealthily…
At the beginning, I had a hunch that Marian wasn’t looked kindly upon by others. Maybe she had felt lonely a lot of times too, but I never knew she was being bullied… It didn’t seem to be the case in her diary entries.
Ah, right… Captain Rigdon said those entries were not to be trusted. He said a lot of things that could convince people that Marian really took her own life…
However, I didn’t buy it…
The Marian of my dreams wasn’t someone who’d recklessly kill herself out of desperation. The Marian in my dreams always warned me, so I knew she was truly concerned of my safety.
The Marian in my dreams was certainly not a delusion…
There were so many maybes and uncertainties that crossed my mind, which left my head spinning so wildly when I finally arrived at my dorm.
I trudged away from the taxi driver in a morose mood. I wasn’t really up to going anywhere than my room, but I stopped by the convenience store from across the shop and ordered hot chocolate to ease my nerves.
As I stared at the hot chocolate in the tiny table of the convenience store, my mind went back to Liam.
In hindsight, what he was suggesting was for my own good. Many things in life were really taking a toll on me, and I could use a bit of professional help.
But then, why did he suddenly turn mad at the prospect of me pushing him away?
I broke off with Kix because he was forcing his way towards me, but I failed to see that Liam was doing the same thing with me too…
Should I ask him to slow down? Should we break up and rethink things between us?...
I was still thinking about these things as I went inside to my room.
Thus, I did have not become fully aware that there were some foreign presence whose intentions were purely evil until it was too late…