The brotherhood started having their classes; they are talking about theology – sounds easy but it’s really complicated. Silas focused on the lecture but all of a sudden, he felt something gushed from his nose. Xavier
looked at him with shock, “Your nose is bleeding. Is theology that hard for you?” he asked.
Silas wiped it with his bare hands. He answered, “This happens often. Is it because I’m anemic?”. “You should get checked. We’ll call the admins to inform your parents” Xavier replied and started browsing his contacts. “No need. They are already informed about this” he said but Xavier insisted, “I’m just doing my job as a senior, Bro. Silas”.
The class ended well and as usual, Silas is having his lunch with Stella. Not all seminarians are familiar with Stella so more of them assumed that Silas and her are merely friends.Stella kept telling him about her day but Silas didn’t reply something unlike their first weeks in
their relationship. Stella noticed that she’s talking to an absent-minded guy.
She gently pushed him because she’s already annoyed, “What’s on your mind lately? You haven’t spoken to me
since this morning!” she complained.Silas got into his senses, “I’m just thinking, if my parents decided to take me away from here, what will happen to us?” he asked. Stella’s eyebrows furrowed, “And why would they take you away from here?” she asked.
Silas shrugged, he’s still unsure about the possibilities so he led the topic away. “Nothing, just thinking about what might happen. It’s good to be prepared just in case, right?” he answered. Stella shrugged, “I can’t understand you. You’re too mysterious to begin with” she said while
eating her lunch.
Xavier, who coincidentally walked behind them, saw the two having a mild but deep talk with each other. He got his eyes furious on the two, he assumed that they are in a relationship and tried to find clues. He approached Carl, the eavesdropper. Xavier asked him about the two and he replied, “Hao Ze said that Stella introduced Silas to him as a friend. You’re so meticulous; they can’t enter a
relationship like that”. Xavier nodded, what Carl said is not baseless.
The night after that, Silas received a lot of messages from his dad who’s always asking him for updates since the afternoon. Silas picked up its call. “I told you maybe I’m just strained from sleeping late and waking up
early” he answered.
“I’ll give you two months to think. I think it’s better for you to change courses; this one’s too hectic. We can’t focus on what you’re doing” his dad from the other line said.
“Fine. We’ll see after two months” he said.
Silas thought of himself, it’s hard to compete with his body and he thinks that his condition is relapsing.
His thoughts were disturbed when someone knocked at his room. It was Xavier holding an envelope. He handed it over to him and said, “See for yourself. It’s from the hospital where your mom is working”. He sat down and opened the envelope. It was the result of his blood chem a while ago. Together with it is a letter from his mom.
“We’ll pick you up tomorrow, five p.m.” it said. Silas can’t believe of the results. He’s diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia; truthfully, it relapsed after eight years.
He crumpled the papers in disbelief; the day that he is afraid of finally came. He only has less than 24 hours in the seminary. He doesn’t know how will he react. He can be happy since he can live a normal life, he should be sad because he’ll leave his safe haven, and he should be heartbroken because he’ll leave the one he loves.
His phone rang, popping Stella’s name and picture on the screen. Her voice is cheerful as always; she started telling stories that made her day. “Dad said he’ll allow me to get a course related to fashion designing! It took me a while to convince him though; but guess what… he
agreed!” she said on the other line.
Silas smiled but tears started rolling from his eyes. He answered, “Really? I also thought he won’t agree. Congrats, all the best for you”. Stella’s tone changed, “Are you really saying that out from heart? Looks like you aren’t interested” she said. Silas replied, “Stella, I don’t want to fight about small things right now, okay? Have a good night and sleep tight” he said and ended the call while hearing Stella’s voice not ready to say goodbye.
He wiped his tears and started recording a video of himself. He started uttering monologues, “Hey love, sorry I couldn’t hear your voice any longer. It makes me get attached more to you which is not a good idea. Sorry for today, I didn’t mean to be so cold. I saw this thing coming and I hate the fact that I can’t fight the battle that I should be fighting with you. Your strongest pillar gave up on his own. I’m at fault, don’t blame yourself. If things happened in just a snap, don’t be surprised. If tomorrow, you’ll have the lunch alone, don’t think of me and don’t starve
yourself. To cut things short, I will leave for a while to fix myself. If one year passed and I still can’t go back here, maybe I’m already dead. I’ll finish my own battle first and I’ll come back to you. For the first time, I will give you my promise. Don’t give up on your dreams. Being a fashion
designer is your dream, right? Chase it. I’m excited to see you design as you adore. Farewell for now, Stella. Shine brighter than you star-originated name. I love you always”. He recorded the video and started sobbing again.
If a man can’t hold back his tears, it means only one thing – he really is in pain.
He called his dad, “I already decided. I wish to go with mom tomorrow” he said and
immediately ended the call.
Stella sighed, not knowing what’s on Silas’ mind. “For the first time, he let me sleep with a bad mood” she said to Sister Hua. Their helper replied, “Do you think he’s just having a bad day? Try to understand him, Stella. When you’re on your darkest days, he was there. Can you do the same for him?"
“He’s more problematic than me! And thinking about how I met him; I met him with a good attitude, he is understanding but he is indeed, secretive and I hate that” she replied.
Sister Hua answered, “Stella, your man can’t console you forever. Understand his side like the
way he understands yours. Don’t talk when you’re angry because you’ll end up uttering words that you’re not meant to say”.
Stella looked away and started dialing Silas’ number. It rang a few times until the phone already can’t be reached.
She screamed in annoyance but she thought of Sister Hua’s words that it is inappropriate to talk
about something when you’re angry. She went to her terrace and started gazing at the stars. She got no interest coming from her
eyes. She closed her eyes and started reminiscing her moments under the stars with Silas.
“They’re only beautiful only when I glance it with you”
She opened her eyes and realized what Silas meant that day at the hospital’s rooftop. She talked to herself, “You’re right, Silas. The stars are looking like plain dust when I’m not gazing it with you”.
She sat down and started hugging her legs. “Everything is dull whenever I’m not close to you, Silas” she said.
It feels like the stars aren’t twinkling when she’s gazing at it alone. She talked to herself, “Why does it feel like as time goes by, he’s getting unattached? Is he only good at the start or maybe I failed as a partner? Maybe he thought that it is a wrong decision for him to notice my feelings.
He was slowly changing. The way he talks changed; he already invalidated my emotions. So quick to make the relationship dull; Is it only worth three months?”