As the days went by, we returned to our usual routine. We went to school and returned home together. We spent late nights chatting and often went out on Sundays.
Then one day, he and his friends decided to play games at a computer shop, and I decided to join them since I only had one class that day while he had just two. So, they would finish their classes at around one in the afternoon.
We had lunch first before heading to the computer shop, which was just across the street.
“Are you sure it’s okay for you to wait? I don’t know what time we’ll finish,” he said.
I smiled and nodded. “Yes, it’s fine. I’ll just read a book while waiting.”
He smiled back and kissed my forehead gently. He looked so happy. Even though he didn’t say it, I knew he wanted me to be there with him during their gaming sessions from time to time.
At first, I didn’t really mind. I immersed myself in reading, even though sometimes it felt like I was deafened by their constant swearing and cursing.
Time passed—an hour, maybe two. I started feeling a slight headache, so I decided to stop reading.
Just as I was about to invite Jace to go home, one of his friends invited him to play another game, and they all agreed. But before they could start, Jace asked me again.
“Why don’t you go home first? I’ll drop you off at the terminal before we begin again.”
I shook my head even though I was starting to feel annoyed.
I just sighed with relief when they finally finished their third game. However, I couldn’t help but frown when one of his friends suggested another game, and they all agreed again.
“Aren’t we going home yet, Jace? You’ve played three games already, and it’s past five o’clock.”
“Verina, it’s just been a while since I played with them. Last week, you and I were always together, right? I told you I don’t know when we’ll finish. I’ll drop you off at the terminal. You might get scolded again if you stay longer.”
Without saying a word, I organized my things before standing up and walking out of the computer shop. I felt him following behind me.
“Verina, I thought you were okay with me playing? It’s been a while since I last played, you know. I even told you not to come along earlier because you might get bored. But you said it was fine.”
I couldn’t bring myself to speak. What he said was true. But I couldn’t understand why I felt so irritated.
“Next time, don’t say it’s okay when it’s not really okay. I was so happy that you joined me to play today because I wanted to be with you too. But it turns out you didn’t really want to.”
I stopped walking and turned to look at him with frustration. “Because, you know what? I’m not allowed to stay out late. I already got permission to go out, and it kept getting extended!”
He raised an eyebrow. “What? As far as I remember, I didn’t ask you to wait for me. I even told you to go home earlier. In fact, I suggested that we go home even before we went to the computer shop. But you’re the one who insisted on staying!”
I felt tears welling up, but I blinked them away quickly to stop them from falling.
“I just wanted to go home together with you. Why are you getting angry with me? I’ve never seen you get that mad at your friends even once. They really are more important to you than I am, aren’t they?”
This time, my traitorous tears finally fell uncontrollably. I wiped them away harshly before turning around and walking away again.
When I was near the jeepney stop, I glanced back. But I cried even harder, and my chest felt tight when I saw that he wasn’t there.
He didn’t follow me. He really doesn’t care about me. He can easily bear to let me go.
Once again, before heading home, I composed myself. But as soon as I entered my room, I felt weak and just sat down on the floor.
Anger and frustration welled up inside me. I tried my best to understand him to avoid any more arguments. I exercised patience to the best of my ability.
But why is it that whenever I ask for his understanding, he can’t seem to give it? Does he really love me? If he never found out about my feelings for him, would he still invite me to go out, and would we be together?
That night, I prepared myself for the possibility that he would once again ignore me. But to my surprise, he replied to my chat.
Babe ❤
Let’s meet tomorrow at the park near the university by 2 p.m. I have something to tell you.
 
I didn’t know why, but a mix of happiness and nervousness washed over me as I read those words.
***
The wind was cold and strong, but I didn’t mind as it swept through my hair, letting it fall loosely around me.
The surroundings were quiet, and I could almost hear the loud and fast beating of my heart. There was no one else here except the two of us.
However, that silence was shattered by the words that first came out of his mouth.
“I think it’s best if we take a break for a while.”
I exhaled deeply upon hearing those words. I expected them to come from him at some point.
But it still hurt to hear them say it directly to my face. Even though it wasn’t official yet, it could lead to a breakup eventually.
“I’m sorry. I love you, Verina. I really do. But I’m tired already. I need to do this before my love for you gets overshadowed by resentment. I don’t want us to reach a point where all we do is fight and blame each other. We need to breathe. We need space and time for ourselves. Instead of being each other’s inspiration, it feels like we’re dragging each other down.”
I already expected what he just said. But what I didn’t expect is what I am seeing right now.
Jace is crying. For over two years, this is the first time that I’ve seen Jace actually cry!
And because of that, I realize that he is hurting too. That I have hurt him too.
I slowly approached him and hugged him tightly.
“I should be the one saying sorry to you. Sorry because I made you my world when I should have just made you a part of it. It’s not your fault that I revolved my life around you and confined you in that world. I’m sorry if my actions contradicted what I said. I tried really, really hard to avoid us fighting again and hurting each other. But in the end, I always messed up.”
He held me close in our embrace before gently caressing my cheek and smiling.
“Thank you for loving me and coming into my life.”
I smiled back. “Thank you as well. Thank you for letting me realize my mistakes, and I promise to learn from them.”
After our conversation and reconciliation, he left first. Meanwhile, I went through the pictures of us in my gallery, one by one.
In the more than two years of our relationship, I convinced myself that he was the one at fault, that he didn’t know how to appreciate, and that he was always in the wrong.
It’s just that I didn’t realize how blinded I was by that belief, and I failed to see my own mistakes.
I wanted to shake my head. I wanted to protest against the idea of giving each other space and time. I wanted to tell him that we can still overcome the problems we’re facing. I wanted to express how much I love him and how I don’t want to lose him completely.
But I couldn’t do it because, as painful and heavy as it felt in my heart, I knew we needed to give ourselves time to think and assess our feelings.
I took a deep breath before finally standing up and leaving. Even though there were no guarantees, I vowed to do everything in my power so that the next time we met, I wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes I made in our relationship.
***
Nearly two months had passed without us talking or seeing each other. Even when we crossed paths on campus, we pretended not to notice each other. If there’s one thing that I’m happy with right now, it’s the fact that my brother and Tiffany finally got back together. Even if we faced another challenge when my brother got shot, I already felt at ease when he easily recovered.
However, with each passing day, I felt my love for him growing even deeper, and it was then that I fully realized my mistakes.
Despite missing him terribly, I couldn’t bring myself to text or chat with him. He was the one who asked for space, so I continued waiting for his return and when he’d be ready.
Now, I am currently walking home, wiping the sweat off my forehead as I glance at my watch.
It’s already eight in the evening.
I had informed my parents earlier that I’d be coming home late because we needed to finish a group project at one of my groupmate’s house. But even with that reason, I couldn’t help but feel anxious. Apart from that, I couldn’t be at ease because I haven’t received any calls or messages from them.
Which is very unusual.
As I entered our house, I furrowed my brow as the dark surroundings greeted me. Where are Mom and Dad?
I quickly searched for the light switch, and as the surroundings became illuminated, I let go of the bag and envelopes that I was holding, taken aback by what I saw.
I couldn’t help the tears falling from my eyes upon reading the words attached to the wall using golden letter balloons.
Happy 27th month anniversary, Babe!
I scanned the whole room and noticed Mom and Dad standing in the living room, looking like they were about to cry. They approached me and hugged me together.
“He only asked us like this for the first time, so we granted his request. I know that both of you have been going through something because we haven’t seen him for almost two months. But your father and I never asked. So now, make sure you both fix whatever that problem is, understood?” Mom gently tapped my back.
With tears in my eyes, I nodded. “Yes, Mom.” I turned to my father. “Thank you, Dad.”
They released me from their embrace and smiled at me.
“We’ll just be upstairs with your Mom. If your conversation doesn’t go smoothly, it’s okay. I prefer that,” Dad said seriously. Mom pinched him on the side, and he scratched his head in response.
“Just kidding, my dear. Just make sure he doesn’t stay out too late, alright?”
I chuckled at Dad’s remark. “Yes, Dad.”
They messed up my hair before finally going upstairs. As my attention returned to the neatly set table in the middle with two candles and prepared food, the man I had been looking for earlier emerged from the kitchen.
I let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him carrying a bunch of red roses. In our over two years of relationship, it was the first time he gave me flowers.
I took the first step towards him, and he slowly approached me. It seemed like everything around us disappeared, and he was the only thing I could see.
He handed me the flowers, which I accepted with surprise. But what he did next caught me off guard.
“Happy 27th month anniversary, Verina. I am sorry if it took me almost two months to realize how much I love you and want you in my life. Honestly, I wanted to meet and talk to you last week. But I thought it might be better to do it today.”
I momentarily placed the flowers on the table and held him by both arms to make him stand up.
“Get up from there! You don’t need to kneel,” I said tearfully.
I never imagined he could do something like this, especially since I knew him as a man with an incredibly strong sense of pride.
He shook his head. “No. I need to do this. In the past two months, I’ve realized so much. It was only then that I realized my own mistakes and shortcomings. I didn’t make you feel secure and loved. That’s why you often had doubts in your mind and heart. Yes, I also got tired of your stubbornness. But I didn’t even notice that you were getting tired of my moodiness too.” He let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry, Verina. I’m really, really sorry for everything that I have done and the pain that I have caused you. I know I don’t deserve you, but I hope you’ll give me another chance.”
Tears started flowing from my eyes at this point. I tried to make him stand up and gently caressed his face as our eyes met.
“I’m sorry too for everything. And you don’t have to ask for another chance because it’s always been you. No matter how painful it is for me to love you, I will always choose you, and my heart will always go back to you.”
He smiled and then bowed down, extending his right hand.
“May I have this dance?”
I was taken aback, and in no time, a soft melody filled the air.
Everything that was happening right now was new to me. He had never done any of this for me before.
“Just like I said earlier, I had many shortcomings too. But tonight, I’ll start slowly filling those gaps,” he said with all his sincerity.
I bit my lower lip before accepting his outstretched hand. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist. We pressed our foreheads together and moved slowly, following the rhythm of the music.
“I love you, Verina,” he said, his eyes showing his sincerity before gently closing them.
“I love you too, Jace.”
It took us a long time to realize our own mistakes. But the most important thing is that we both learned from them and found a way back to each other.