[ Bella's Point of View ]
Four years later.
"You better go home, Bella. Do you plan on overworking yourself?"
I glanced at my co-intern, Janice. We've been working until ten in the evening.
I sighed and leaned on my swivel chair.
"I want to finish this whole internship thing and start working my ass off to get money," I replied and placed my hands on my face.
I'm finally a psychology intern. Just a few more years, and I'll be a psychiatrist.
"Just stop worrying about that! You're the top student anyway. You'll be a great psychiatrist even if you don't join the internship," Janice said and grabbed my wrist.
"You know what, let's go to the club," she continued.
We ran through the elevator while she was still gripping my wrist. This woman is so wild, I swear!
"So, Bella, will your boyfriend come and pick you up? Because if not, I'm going to bring you with me," she said while we were waiting for a cab.
She's probably talking about Jameson.
For the past years, Jameson and I remained the same. He was in military school, so we seldomly get in touch.
But he never failed to be affectionate.
I still can't figure out if I like him too. It's not that I don't like him. I'm just having a hard time fixing my feelings towards him.
"How many times will I tell you that he's not my boyfriend?" I looked at Janice, and she scrunched her nose.
"The both of you look like couples, you know? Don't you even try to deny it? I saw the both of you kissing on the-" I covered her mouth as soon as she could even finish what she was saying.
"Shh. You're too loud," I told Janice.
"Hahaha, sorry. So, don't you ever tell me that the both of you aren't dating? Sorry for the intrusion yesterday, but I just can't help to look at the both of you! You look so cute," she said in a tiny voice and jumped like a kid.
I smiled at her. Honestly, I loved it every time Jameson kissed me. It feels like I'm in a whole different place.
But, I don't know if I like him. Do I?
Or should I just date him?
"I swear, Bella, you don't have to hide it from me. I've been your acquaintance since freshmen year. You don't wanna hide something from me, especially when it's obvious," Janice said again.
"Janice, can you tell me what you know about love?" I asked her. She looked at me in confusion.
"Eh? Seriously? Kids know that."
"No, seriously. I mean, I don't think I felt it even once in my life. Well, I might've felt it, but I'm not aware. I just don't know, Janice," I replied.
She sighed and looked at the night sky filled with sparkling stars.
"Bella, we all have different perceptions about love. There is the love you feel for your parents, your pet, your friend, your spouse, or yourself."
I know that.
"But, if you're talking about the love for a man, it's kind of complicated. You see, there was this guy I loved for years since we were still in middle school. He didn't reciprocate my feelings at first, but it doesn't matter. I love him, and he doesn't need to love me back..."
When she said that, I suddenly thought about Jameson. What could he probably be feeling knowing that I still can't reciprocate his feelings?
"I knew I love him. Adults think it's just some sort of a crush or infatuation, but love varies from every person. I have loved him so much, until now. But, the day he said he loves me too was the day he was taken away from me..."
I gasped. That might be so painful.
I can see the sadness in Janice's eyes.
"I was the happiest and saddest person that time, Bella. I was asking the universe why do I have to experience that pain? But you helped me overcome the pain somehow. I'm glad I met you," she looked at me and smiled.
During my years in college, I'm getting to learn more about how people feel and think, which made me more empathic.
Although, I hate it.
I don't want to feel sympathy.
"Ah, we don't have much time for the drama," she spoke again and started searching for a cab.
I would want her to tell me more about her love life, but I must wait until she's comfortable opening up to me.
We waited for a few minutes, and a black car stopped in front of us.
It's Jameson's car.
"Why are you guys still here? What time is it?" Jameson said as he opened the window of his car.
Jameson just got out from the military last month, and we've always been together. That's why Janice kept teasing me.
"Wow, your soldier is here, miss Bella," Janice whispered to me.
"Where are you headed? Should I take the both of you home?" He offered and went out of his car.
He marched towards us with his clean blue polo, with sleeves folded up, ironed trousers, and black shoes. He's also wearing glasses. It keeps me from seeing his blue eyes.
I didn't realize he grew much taller and even more muscular. His polo fits his body perfectly.
"Bella, if you tell me once more that this is not your boyfriend, I'm going to flirt with him, I'm telling you. He is such a beauty." Janice yanked my elbow.
"Just kidding," she immediately said after I glared at her.
"We will go to the club," I uttered at Jameson, who was leaning on his Porsche, arms crossed.
He scrunched his forehead and shook his head.
"Nobody's going to the club this late. I'm going to take the both of you home," he said and opened the door of his car.
"Your boyfriend is overprotective. Anyway, Bella, you can go home, but I'll go to the club myself," Janice suggested and pushed me.
"What? I'm coming with you," I insisted. I can't let her go to the club alone.
"Bella," Jameson called.
"Just go, James, we can handle ourselves!" I screamed at him.
He sighed and tapped the steering wheel of his car. "Alright, we're going to the club."
...
We arrived at a club across the town. It was filled with people and lights and loud music.
"Janice, you sure you want to waste your time here?" I asked her.
"Bella, this isn't a waste of time. This club reminds me of Aaron, my love. We were dancing here when he confessed his love for me, then he suddenly got shot," Janice explained.
Oh my goodness.
"But don't worry about it, Bella. I know you told me to always let go of the past, but sometimes, the past is just too hard to bury. I try to move on, but it always comes back. It always comes back, Bella," she continued.
Janice pulled me, and we were squeezed amidst the crowd. She was screaming her lungs out, but her voice was full of pain.
"Bella! Don't go too far!" I heard Jameson scream, but his voice was engulfed by loud music.
When we reached the open space where people were dancing, Janice bumped into a man.
"Gosh, can't you look at your way?!" Janice screamed at the guy.
"Ivan?" I asked as soon as my eyes and the guy's eye met.
His eyes widened, and he smiled at me.
"Goodness, Bella! I can't believe I saw you again!" He leaned towards me, attempting to peck my cheek, but Jameson pulled me.
"Hi, Ivan," Jameson greeted, and they shook hands.
Ivan entered college abroad, so we haven't seen him for a long time. What a coincidence that we saw him tonight.
He became more handsome and fashionable. I wonder if he's dating someone.
"I missed the both of you. Anyway, who's this girl right here?" He leaned on the counter and pointed at Janice.
"I'm Janice. Better say sorry for blocking my way," Janice replied.
"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to bump with you. Do you dance?" Ivan suddenly asked after sipping tequila.
"Yeah, do you?"
"Let's go."
Just after that, Ivan and Janice vanished from my eyes.
HOW DARE SHE DITCH ME AFTER BRINGING ME HERE?!
"Do you also want to dance?" Jameson asked and sat at the counter chair.
"I don't dance. You know that." I sat beside him and looked at the people dancing.
These people, they seem so happy. But, for sure, they're just hiding their genuine emotions deep within.
Just like Janice.
"Two orange juice, please," Jameson ordered.
"Haha, seriously? Juice?" I teased.
"I don't drink, Bella," he replied.
That's right, he doesn't like the taste of alcohol or wine. I can't believe he didn't change at all.
"Hmm, you should tell me more about your military school. All we ever did was kiss," I told him and pouted.
He chuckled and drank his orange juice.
"There's nothing much about it, Bella. During those years, I was only thinking about you," he replied and stared right into the deepest of my soul.
"Really? You didn't date anyone?" I asked and rested my chin on my right hand while facing him.
He shook his head and came closer to me. "How will I even date anyone? You're the only person I ever loved, and nobody will ever match you," he muttered.
What a flirt.
"Bella, don't you like me?" He asked.
I didn't know what to say, but I didn't wanna lie.
"I don't know. To be honest, you make me feel things, James. I feel like bursting every time you're close. When we kiss, my heart races. And when I see you, I - "
"You love me," he said and suddenly tapped the tip of my nose with his finger.
"I don't know," I replied and looked away.
"Look at me, Bella. Look at my eyes and tell me, don't you love me?" He held my face, and I looked into his eyes.
My heart is beating so fast.
"I..."
"The both of you are going to kiss behind my back again?"
We both looked at Ivan. He was standing behind us.
Why does he always have to show up on times like this?