[Bella's Point of View]
I smell strawberry cake. It's my favorite.
I walked outside my room and saw Jameson baking. He wasn't wearing any shirt, just my apron and a pair of black jeans.
"What are you doing?" I asked, and he looked at me.
"Good morning, Bella. Sorry, it's hot, so I had to remove my shirt," he explained.
I wasn't asking about it but never mind.
It's been ten days since the incident, and I'm back at the dorm. Even if they already allowed me to live in the mansion, I will never go back.
I heard Niana was brought to a mental hospital. I want to talk to her about her last words during that night.
And how she knew about my mother's lullaby.
And why she suddenly called me her cousin.
"Hmm, do you want additional strawberries in this?" Jameson asked while holding the cake.
"No, thanks."
Together, we ate the cake while watching an anime. It's entitled 'Demon Slayer.' I am not into cartoons and animations, but Jameson is having fun watching. Who am I to interrupt?
I placed my plate in the kitchen, and I felt Jameson's arms around my waist while washing the dishes.
He rested his chin on my shoulder, and I turned at him. He was facing me with both his hands on my waist, without wearing any shirt.
"What?" I asked.
"You're beautiful," he said in a low voice.
I wonder what he is planning to do.
I'm not a hormonal teenager, but realizing that it's only the two of us in this place, standing so close to each other, it's making me feel things.
"Hmm, you still have icing on your lips," he said and wiped the icing with his thumb gently.
He's so close.
"You're too close," I said. Jameson looked at me with his blue eyes sparkling.
"I want to kiss you," he said.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FRANK?!
I turned my back towards him and said, "Stop it, Jameson. I don't know if I can reciprocate your feelings. You see, I am-"
"You don't have to return my feelings, Bella. I love you, and that's what is important to me," he pulled my wrist and made me face him again.
"So, please, you don't have to worry about loving me back. Love is not something that should be returned. I love you because I do," he mumbled in a soft voice and closed his eyes.
I felt his lips on mine, and I didn't know what to do.
After five seconds, I felt his tongue gently brushing my lips.
WHAT IS HE DOING?!
Does he want me to open my mouth?
I slowly opened my mouth, and he wandered inside it. He pulled me closer to him, and I just followed the movements of his mouth.
His mouth tastes like strawberry cake.
It lasted for a minute, and I pulled myself away because I needed air.
"Wait, I need to breathe," I said and inhaled.
He let go of his hands on my back and smiled at me, "You're a pretty good kisser. Is this really your first?" He said.
I felt like my face was going to explode anytime now.
It isn't my first kiss, Ivan and I kissed multiple times, but it isn't as wild as this.
"Stop it, James. I wonder how many girls you've kissed before," I said.
"No one. You're my first thought," Jameson said and kissed me again with passion.
Gosh, Jameson, you're bold.
Is this love?
No, we're probably two hormonal young adults, hearts pounding against each other.
...
The next day, I decided to visit Niana in the hospital she was confined.
I saw her on the bed in a patient suit. She looks horrible.
"Niana," I spoke.
She looked at me and looked away again. I walked towards her and sat on the chair beside her bed.
"What are you doing here? Are you here to kill me? Go on," she replied without even looking at me.
"No, Niana. If I want you killed, I should've killed you that night. I just want to ask you something," I said.
She didn't say a word.
"Could you tell me why you know my mom's lullaby?" I asked, and she started crying.
I don't know what to do. Should I just wait for her to speak?
After she cried for more than five minutes, she wiped her tears away and looked at me.
"Bella, you're my cousin. I'm Melinda's daughter," she said.
My eyes widened, and my lips parted.
Now, I didn't know what to say.
"H...how?" That's the only word that came out of my mouth.
"I know the lullaby because when my mom and your mom were children, they used to sing it together."
I just sat frozen. I know what Niana was telling is true because that lullaby was made by my mom.
"So, why did you end up in the orphanage?" I asked.
"Melinda never liked me. She said I was not her daughter, and I was a mistake," she replied and started crying again.
"I just wish she aborted me. I shouldn't have felt this hatred," she continued.
That must've hurt. This family is messed up, I must say.
And that's why I don't consider anyone a family.
"When I knew she was living in that mansion, I tried to come to her, but I saw you. She was so sweet towards you. That's when my jealousy and hatred towards you started. Then one day, when I just found out that Melinda was poisoned because she tried to poison you, I got even angrier at you," she explained.
She's nuts.
"I don't know, but I felt like everything was your fault. And then, at middle school, I figured out that you and Jameson are good friends. It made me infuriated. Jameson was my best friend when he used to visit the orphanage, but he stopped visiting us for some reason. I blamed it all on you, Bella. I befriended you and learned a lot about your life. I realized you experienced even worse than me. I felt sorry, but I couldn't stop what I had started. I tried ruining you even more. Everything is because of me." She looked down and sighed.
Somehow, I felt her pain.
"You didn't ruin me, Niana. You can't destroy a thing that is already destroyed," I said and stood up from my seat.
"Anyway, I need to go back. College is waving, and I need to study. I hope you have a safe stay here."
"Wait, Bella," she said when I was about to leave the room. I turned to her, and she signaled me to go back to her.
For some reason, I obeyed her.
"I'm so sorry, Bella," she suddenly hugged me, which caught me off guard.
"I'm really sorry. I lied to you. I betrayed you. I'm sorry," she cried on my shoulders.
I hugged her back and patted her. "It's alright. You know that I don't dwell on the past. But that doesn't mean I forgave you already. What you did to me was traumatizing," I replied.
She pulled herself from the hug and looked at me. I didn't realize she looked pretty without those eyeglasses and ponytail.
"Thank you, Bella. You were a great friend. Once I get out of this hospital, I'll end up in jail. Please live your life without ending up being like me."
I left her room and felt pain from within. I fell on my knees, and tears started to flow from my eyes.
I didn't know why I felt this way, but I felt agony.
Niana, she was in pain all those time.
It lasted for minutes, and I felt relieved after I cried a dozen of tears. I felt so good.
I realized Niana isn't a psychopath at all. She probably killed people before, but she felt sorry.
I'm not like her.
But why did I cry?
I walked to the hallway and saw a lot of patients being delivered to the emergency room. Doctors and nurses are panicking, and patients are bawling.
Everyone is in pieces.
Everyone is hurting.
That's when I decided to push through my college course for me to feel the pain other people are feeling.
I'm going to be a psychiatrist.
...
[ Jameson's Point of View ]
I feel happy.
Happy because Bella is finally trying to be happy,
and because I got the chance to kiss her.
I'm glad she's aware that I love her. Probably more than she ever knows.
I love her so much. I wonder what came to me when I realized I was in love with a psychopath.
Through the years, I was always watching her. Admiring her beauty from afar.
I can't let go of her anymore. She's my lifeline. The reason why I have to keep living.
I want her to be with me until we both grow old.
I want her to be the mother of my children.
She's my favorite person.
But love isn't forced, and I'll wait until she decides to love me back.
I'm not expecting anything, but I will do everything to tame her.
Oh, Bella, why are you doing this to me?