The setting exuded a tranquil ambiance, with a serene atmosphere and a calm sky stretching overhead. Amidst this picturesque scene, a magnificent grandeur bird gracefully hopped from branch to branch of a cassia fistula tree, adorned with its noble yellow flowers. Kieran and Hardin stood close, their hands intertwined, and the undeniable warmth emanating from their palms filled them with tender happiness.
Observing them, one couldn't help but be captivated by the sweetness of their connection. Their laughter and smiles intertwined, creating harmonious melodies that had the power to chase away any sorrows. Their love was authentic and pure, a rare gem in a world so often marred by insincerity and pretense.
Kieran, in particular, had always perceived himself as unlucky in various aspects of life. If misfortune were to befall anyone, he believed it would undoubtedly find its way to him. Now, he feels like he is on a cloud nine with the man who loves him so much.
It's been a week, and he couldn't believe that Hardin loves him too. It is true that love knows no gender, no rules. They love each other. Maybe words are not enough how gentle Hardin is to Kieran. Kieran was very grateful and Pharm and Ayne understood them. His friends are ready to support him, they support him wherever he is happy.
Unlike those people who discriminated and rejected him. Kieran knew he couldn't avoid people like that. That's normal. But he was still hurt. He's fragile. He's vulnerable. How many times has he heard the phrase 'why can't he just die' and other things that hurt his feelings.
Ever since Kieran was a child, he was aware that a significant portion of society did not accept him for who he was. Despite having the support and love of those around him, things changed drastically when his father and paternal relatives discovered his secret about his sexual identity. They chose to ignore his existence, solely due to this revelation. Exhausted from endless arguments, Kieran no longer wishes to engage in futile debates.
They strolled hand in hand beneath the comforting shade of the cassia fistula trees. Hardin had mustered the courage to ask Kieran out, and Kieran couldn't bring himself to decline. Every moment spent with Hardin was cherished, as Kieran held onto the deep affection he felt for him. He resolved to savor their time together.
Deep down, Kieran was aware that a day might come when Hardin would unexpectedly vanish from his life. However, he fervently hoped that such a scenario would never materialize. The thought of Hardin desiring a conventional life with a wife and children weighed heavily on Kieran's mind, causing a tightness in his chest to emerge, as if constricting his breath.
"Cute as asf" Kieran playfully retorted, his tone filled with affection. They halted their steps, and Kieran leaned his head against Hardin's shoulder, seeking solace in his embrace.
"I love you," Kieran whispered softly, his words carrying the weight of his emotions.
"And you know how deeply I cherish you," Hardin replied, his arms enveloping Kieran's waist in a warm embrace. "I would always choose to be by your side, to share my time with you, regardless of the circumstances."
"The whispers of naiads and the soothing sound of cascades would echo the same sentiment," Hardin added, his words accompanied by a tender kiss planted gently on Kieran's forehead.
“Enough.” Kieran scowled and distanced himself from Hardin. "Sorry for starting PDA with you."
“Okay, you’re still worried about other people’s opinions.” Hardin gave a bit rueful laugh.
"However, don't you agree? It's painful, but it's necessary. We need to keep our relationship private." Kieran paused, taking a moment to catch his breath. "If only society accepted me as a me, perhaps we could openly display our affection to the public. I could introduce you to my parents as my boyfriend, and you could do the same. If only I were seen as a woman, we could proudly showcase our love to the world." He raised his gaze, fighting back the tears welling in his eyes. Although he longed to cry, he knew he had to maintain composure.
Hardin grinned. "You don't need to change who you are. I love you deeply, and it doesn't matter what gender we identify with or what lies between our legs. We're two individuals who share a profound connection, and I believe that one day society will accept and embrace us."
Kieran nodded, returning the smile. They walked on together, aware of the unspoken rule that dictated their relationship: to keep their love hidden away from the public eye. In public, they refrained from displaying any signs of their romantic involvement.
Hardin empathizes with Kieran's request. He is well aware that Kieran's father holds homophobic views, and the same can be said about his own father, who is particularly influenced by cultural beliefs as a Chinese individual. Despite this, Hardin disregards his father's opinion when it comes to prioritizing Kieran's genuine happiness.
Hardin's primary concern is Kieran's well-being and ensuring his happiness. He is prepared to stand up for their relationship and shield Kieran from any harm or discrimination. He sees it as his duty as Kieran's boyfriend to provide protection and support. Hardin envisions their relationship as a safe haven, a place where they can both find comfort and solace.
Hardin's gaze repeatedly shifted towards Kieran, his longing to embrace him growing with each passing second. However, Kieran remained vigilant, deliberately maintaining a physical distance between them. Despite Hardin's persistent desire, Kieran kept himself aloof, avoiding any intimate gestures. As their paths intertwined amidst the enchanting cassia fistula trees, the chase continued until they finally arrived at Siam Delight, both panting for breath.
In their one week relationship, the two were constantly going outside enjoying food on every Bangmot street. Thai street foods are delicious. Every time they invited Ayne and Pharm, they refused. They know the racket of the two, bar is what they like.
Kieran signaled Hardin that he was the first to enter and Hardin immediately obeyed and Kieran followed. It's only five in the evening and there's almost no space inside Siam Delight. The place was located at Khwaeng Bangmot street. Fortunately, there is another space and it is quite private.
"I bet we'll just go for take out." Kieran looked around. He noticed that there were people from Saem Choi there and they seemed to be watching him secretly. He could see them whispering and laughing.
"Sure, let me take care of it. What do you want by the way?” Hardin asked.
Kieran thought before answering. “Ah, Tom Yum Goong, Tom Kha Kai, Gaeng Keow Wan Gai. I didn't bring enough Baht, here's my card." Kieran responded and would have given his ATM to Hardin.
"No, it's okay, I have enough Baht here. I have to order Kaeng Lueang, Pla Kapung Neung Manao.”
"So there's a party?" he laughed softly.
"Food is life," Hardin said.
"Really?" he promised. "Why didn't you gain weight?"
Hardin only smiled in response to what Kieran had just said then he ruffled Kieran's hair before finally going to the counter. Kieran too stood up and he went straight to the comfort room at the same time a man stood up and followed Kieran. Kieran closed his eyes while urinating, and he whistled softly.
A little later, a sudden touch on his shoulder startled Kieran. The firm grip held onto him, causing him to swiftly conclude his urination and secure his belt. He pivoted to face the person responsible for the unexpected contact, only to find himself met with a pair of wide-eyed gazes belonging to none other than Nuea, his paternal uncle's eldest son.
"Shiiia."
“Shocked assh*le,” Nuea smirked.
Kieran's eyebrows furrowed as he glared at Nuea. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, his voice laced with irritation.
Nuea smirked in response, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Ah, Kieran, my dear, why don't we flip the question? What brings you to this place?" He paused, his gaze narrowing. "And don't think I didn't notice you cozying up to your old neighbor. Are you two getting friendly, Kieran? Perhaps even more than friendly?"
Kieran's anger flared, but he maintained his composure. "That's none of your business," he retorted firmly.
Nuea let out a scornful laugh, his voice dripping with contempt. "Oh? So, you're denying it? You're just a pathetic little bisexual boy, aren't you? Always playing the submissive role, a worthless faggot."
Kieran's eyes flashed with a mix of anger and hurt, but he refused to let Nuea's words break him. Taking a step back, he regained his stance, his voice steady. "You can spew all the hate you want, Nuea, but it won't change who I am," he stated, his tone defiant. "I won't let your ignorance and bigotry define me. And, mind your language, P'Nuea."
Nuea scoffed, his tone laced with disdain. "You believed I was oblivious to all the despicable things you've done? Your sordid little secret, your desire for a sexual encounter." Nuea feigned a caress on Kieran's cheek, a malicious glint in his eyes. "Poor Kieran, next month your dad will return. Do you honestly think you can conceal the fact that you're cohabiting with your partner?"
Kieran's calm demeanor remained unwavering as he replied, "Refrain from speaking like an ignorant fool, P'Nuea."
"I can sense the darkness in your soul, and now you're resorting to defending yourself," P'Nuea sneered, a malicious glimmer in his eyes. "You've chosen a path that will lead you straight to damnation. Tell me, does engaging in anal intercourse bring you more pleasure than satisfying a woman? Or perhaps you'd like me to treat you like a filthy whore instead? There's something seriously wrong with you."
Kieran shook his head, refusing to be intimidated. "Are you always this obsessed with spying on others? Let me make it clear, P'Nuea, you're wasting your time."
P'Nuea's face twisted with rage, his teeth clenched tightly. "Shut your filthy mouth, you insignificant fool. If there was a purge to eliminate people like you, who defy the natural order," he paused, his voice dripping with venom, "I would gladly break your neck myself."
Kieran concealed his pain, refusing to let it show on his face. Even though Nuea had never acknowledged him as his cousin, Kieran didn't retaliate or defend himself. He paused, inhaling deeply, gathering his composure before responding. "Please, P'Nuea," he pleaded earnestly. He couldn't forget that his dad would soon be back in Bangkok.
"What are you insinuating now?" Nuea spat, his voice dripping with contempt. "You could never please me, Kieran. I'm just like your father, aren't I? Too different from your brother, Arthit, who so graciously offered you his sympathy." Nuea paused, a sinister smile spreading across his face. "Or maybe that Arthit you're so fond of is gay as well. You people make me sick."
Kieran let out a bitter laugh, his eyes filled with a mix of frustration and sadness. "I have no idea what delusions you're entertaining, but I don't have time for this. I need to leave."
Nuea's grip on Kieran tightened, his anger escalating. "Oh, we're far from finished, you despicable bastard," he growled, his fingers digging into Kieran's shoulders.
"Really? You've been cut too deep here." Kieran pointed at his chest. The most painful of all, is when your own family disregards you because of your sexual orientation. "So what this time, P'Nuea? You're going to hurt me? Bring it on. I'm not innocent of your treatment. I'm not innocent with your words anymore."
Kieran received a strong blow to his stomach from Nuea's merciless fist. Kieran whimpered. That was followed by another blow to his side. His tears flowed alone. Kieran felt Neua's hand under his chin, lifting his face.
"Kieran, I think you deserve to be hurt. Now I laugh at you the way people were laughing at how sh*tty your existence is. Hear their chortle, and how they curse your name. Aren't you tired? if there's a typhoon and earthquake or any phenomenon you are blamed? 'Because of, Mr. Pornthip's son, he's a curse, a pestilence' familiar, isn't it? why don't you just die and be at peace?"
Nuea gave Kieran another blow to his chest. His words hurt even more than his punches earlier. Nuea was right, Kieran heard that often. "No." Kieran's lips trembled as he spoke. "No, I don't deserve it. You hurt me because of being me. Do you think I can deserve it all because I'm different from you? I'm not different at all. I have feelings, and I'm hurt too. Yes, they were right, but I have the right to live.” He wiped his wet cheeks with his palms.
"You people don't have the right to abuse me. 'Eh, what if I'm not straight? Is it my fault? Do I deserve to be hurt because of that?"
"If you love d*ck, you can visit my unit, I have five hunk friends.”
Kieran shook his head hard. "P'Nuea, I'm sorry but I don't like that."
“Good f*ck. Wash your face and get the hell out of here. Don't you dare to show up your face. You filthy scum. For Pete's sake, I don't want to see you with that guy. Just eff off. He stepped back.
“Okay, tsk!”
Kieran stared at his reflection in the mirror. He smiled bitterly. He knew that Hardin had waited and looked for him. He has to go out. He took a deep breath before going out.
Hardin was no longer there so he left Siam Delight. He immediately sees Hardin holding their orders. His sweet smile greeted him.
"Where have you been?" Hardin asked immediately with concern in his voice. "Are you okay?"
"Mai sabaii," (I'm not well) Kieran said quickly. And then when they stepped forward, some of his tears fell to the side again.