Hardin stared blankly at the ceiling. His mind was no longer occupied with any thoughts, except for the memory of when Kieran's father had spoken to him about his son a week ago. The moment he had knelt in front of Mr. Pornthip, pleading for permission to love his son.
He pleaded with Mr. Pornthip, pulling the old man into a tight embrace and shedding tears on his shoulder. However, Mr. Pornthip remained as cold as a wooden plank soaked in water for a hundred years. He still insisted on Hardin abandoning his son.
It was not true that the idea of leaving Bangkok was a sudden decision for him. It was his response to Mr. Pornthip's inquiry about available choices: either leaving Bangkok and abandoning Kieran, or having Mr. Pornthip send Kieran to Canada, where Kieran's mom's sister resides in Toronto. Both options were exceedingly difficult. However, Hardin had to make a choice. After almost half a minute, he finally opened his mouth and uttered... he will simply leave and eventually return.
He never said that he would give up on Kieran. Instead, he expressed that no matter how many years pass, Kieran will always be the one he loves. Despite the barriers of time and circumstances that may arise, he made a promise to Mr. Pornthip that he would not change his mind. If he said Kieran, then it would still be Kieran. He vowed to love their child even in the most challenging situations.
Hardin left Mr. Pornthip without saying anything. He couldn't exactly determine what was going on in Mr. Pornthip's mind when he turned his back and left. Now, it has been several days since he last saw Kieran or spoke to him on the phone.
Hardin had mention to Kieran that if Kieran misses him, Kieran can always feel free to call Hardin. But why hasn't Kieran called or talked to him? Hardin wonder how he's doing. Their last instruction before parting ways during their last afternoon together was for Kieran to contact him whenever he needs him.
Even Pharm and Ayne haven't returned to that house. He misses them. Perhaps at this moment, all three of them, Kieran, Ayne, and Pharm, are together. He didn't go to school that day, and in the past few days, he has been trying to find Kieran on campus. And if he happens to meet Kieran by chance, he will tightly embrace him. Damn, he really misses that kid, Kieran.
Perhaps the reason why Kieran hasn't called him is because of his father. Maybe Mr. Pornthip is still angry at Kieran even until that time, just like he always is. That's why both he and Kieran were feeling despair about their happy ending. Having a happy ending seemed impossible.
Even if Kieran's mom, Arthit, his family, Kieran's friends, and those who understand them accept their relationship, Mr. Pornthip still doesn't approve of it. They can't be truly happy under those circumstances. But of course, they are both willing to wait, no matter how long and difficult the situation may be.
He forced a bitter smile as tears silently streamed down his left eye. One hot tear droplet fell and traced a path to his heart, leaving behind a lingering heaviness. He let out a long, deep sigh. There were moments when he contemplated giving up; the battle was arduous. However, every time he thought of Kieran and remembered how vulnerable he looked, peacefully asleep on that serene afternoon when he had left a surprise in his room to celebrate their one-month anniversary he gathered all his strength and believe that there's something better for them. Hardin couldn't leave Kieran.
On that day, he was in Pattaya, contemplating leaving Bangkok. However, when he returned to his home in Bangmot, he discovered Kieran peacefully sleeping, tear stains marking his cheeks. Hardin was deeply hurt by this sight and made the decision to stay. That was the very reason he remained in Bangmot.
It felt unjust to witness Kieran cry so intensely upon finding the letter. Hardin was present, silently observing Kieran. He felt pity, but couldn't bring himself to emerge from his hiding place. It was a selfish aspect of his personality, yet his heart compelled him to embrace Kieran warmly and offer solace. He longed to approach Kieran, who sat weeping, but he couldn't muster the courage to do so.
Now, one tear had turned to two, and then many more followed. His chest felt tight. Perhaps that feeling, the unease and absentmindedness, all stemmed from missing Kieran's presence. He stood up and wiped his wet cheeks hastily.
He exited his room and descended to the living room. Just as he was making his way down, a knock echoed from downstairs. Hardin swiftly approached the door, anticipating to greet Kieran. His excitement quickly turned to disappointment as he discovered that it wasn't Kieran who stood outside, but rather Kieran's two friends. They had returned.
"What is with that face, Pee?" Pharm inquired as they entered the room.
"Just read the situation," Ayne grumbled, plopping down on the sofa. "He mistook us for Kieran. Can't you see the disappointment on his face?"
"I see," Pharm nodded. "He was expecting his wife to arrive."
"Kieran shared the story with us. It was like something out of a movie, or a novel," Ayne remarked animatedly. "I've realized that love between two men can never be considered wrong. I've learned not to judge."
Ayne glanced at Pharm, who was staring directly at him in response to his statement. Could it be possible that they had a romantic connection? And where was Kieran? Ayne wanted to inquire about his whereabouts, but he noticed that Pharm seemed to be behaving strangely.
Pharm's forehead wrinkled with a mix of surprise and unease when Ayne refused to look away. "Hey, don't go assuming things, man."
Hardin, instead of addressing the confusing situation, simply remarked, "You two are meant for each other."
Ayne, maintaining eye contact with Pharm, couldn't help but give a seductive smile and bite his lower lip. "How about we have a private conversation in our room?" he suggested, trying to sound alluring.
"Leave me alone," Pharm responded, his frown deepening.
Hardin couldn't resist teasing, "Aw, you guys would make such a cute couple."
Ayne, seeming earnest, said, "See? Even Hardin thinks we're a perfect match, Pharm."
Pharm responded with a sly smirk. "Support, huh? Not buying it."
Ayne's face lit up with a smile. "Pom chob khun khrub," Ayne expressed affectionate appreciation in Thai.
Pharm's expression turned into a frown. Ayne's words were all too familiar. Pharm, known for being a playful trickster, couldn't help but wonder if Ayne had something up their sleeve.
With a serious tone, Ayne made a bold statement. "I'll sweep you off your feet and carry you to bed like a devoted husband."
Pharm couldn't contain his amusement and grinned. "Always with the unexpected jokes." Turning his gaze to Hardin.
Ayne's smirk grew mischievous. "Planning to steal someone's boyfriend, huh?"
Pharm looked at Ayne with a stern expression. "I'd rather not engage in conversation with you."
Ayne's face softened. "I have strong feelings for you, more than just friendship."
Pharm retorted. "Leave me alone!"
Ayne stood up and gently picked up Pharm in his arms. "Relax and enjoy the moment," Ayne said with a warm smile. Carrying Pharm, they headed upstairs.
"You're bad, Ayne." Pharm shouted.
Ayne smirked and stated, "I will prove you wrong. Just behave, dear."
"Take it easy, Nong'Ayne. He's inexperienced," Hardin chuckled.
"Pee, please, have mercy and help me," Pharm pleaded.
Hardin shrugged indifferently. "Absolutely not."
"Get lost, Pee."
Hardin simply laughed and asked Ayne, "Do you have everything you need?"
Ayne laughed and nodded simultaneously. "Yes, I am prepared."
Ayne forcefully closed the door, leaving Hardin shaking his head. Despite everything, the two of them managed to bring a smile to his face. Suddenly, he heard the door creak open. As he turned around, he saw Kieran standing there, causing him to burst into tears.
Without hesitation, Kieran rushed towards him, enveloping him in a tight embrace. Finding solace in Kieran's arms, Hardin held onto him tightly. Kieran settled himself on Hardin's lap, their connection deepening as they shared a heartfelt kiss. Both of them were left breathless, their lips parting reluctantly. Hardin shifted from his lap, positioning himself next to Kieran, seeking comfort and closeness.
"I miss you," Hardin whispered, gently caressing Kieran's soft cheeks. There was no response from Kieran, but Hardin held him tightly in his arms. "Have you talked to your Daddy about us?"
"I have," Kieran replied, his voice filled with sadness. "Even after all this time, Daddy hasn't talked to me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's the same old story."
"That's why you're here," Hardin said, seeking confirmation.
Kieran nodded. "I just couldn't bear being without you any longer." Suddenly he pulled Hardin up too. "Let's go, Hardin."
Hardin was caught off guard. "Go? Go where?" he asked, his voice filled with surprise.
Kieran's expression turned resolute. "Anywhere, as long as we're together," he declared with determination. A smile formed on Kieran's face. "Mr. Pornthip wanted to talk to you," he mentioned, referring to his father.
"Really?" Hardin said, taken aback by the revelation.
Upon reaching Saem Choi's at Kieran's house, Hardin unexpectedly hesitated to enter. He explained that he needed to purchase something first and would return later. Kieran cautiously opened the door, intending to wait for Hardin inside. Suddenly, voices reached his ears, and among them, he distinctly heard his own name being mentioned.
"Kieran is a remarkable son, and your hate prevented you from acknowledging that. Even now, you haven't completely opened your heart to him," His mom conveyed, speaking to his dad. It was as though Kieran was sitting right beside her, witnessing the compassion in her eyes. Kieran paused just before entering, deeply impacted by his mother's words.
"Despite the pain you inflicted upon him, both physically and emotionally, did Kieran ever attempt to protest? No, instead, he showed you respect and love. But have you ever stopped to consider him, even for a moment? Have you ever asked yourself about the struggles your son endures under the weight of your expectations and societal pressures?" His mom paused, catching her breath. "He's only nineteen years old, and he has already endured so much pain."
"What would you like me to do?" his dad inquired of his mom.
"I want him to experience true happiness. Like I mentioned before, I want you to open your heart to him. The notion that being gay is a crime or a sin is archaic and unjust."
"And what if other people unfairly judge us because of our son's sexual orientation?"
"Honey, I hear your words, and I understand Kieran's deep need for your understanding, tolerance, and acceptance. It's imperative that you disregard any negative opinions others may have about our son. Kieran is solely with us, and I take immense pride in having a gay son. That sentiment will never waver. Let's not concern ourselves with what others think. Our focus should be on our children, as we are the ones living our lives alongside them," Kieran's mother proudly declares.
Mr. Pornthip gently massaged his forehead, feeling a mix of astonishment and confusion. His lips trembled with unspoken emotions.
Kieran hesitated and walked inside, finding solace next to his father. His dad looked at him, clearly taken aback by the sudden turn of events when his mom abruptly stood up.
"You two should have a conversation," his mom said, turning away from them before leaving the room.
Kieran felt a wave of uncertainty wash over him. His dad appeared to be waiting for him to speak, yet seemed at a loss for words himself. Kieran mustered the courage and said, "Dad, I'm truly sorry..." He wondered how many times he would have to say those words, but he knew he had to keep repeating them until his dad's heart softened towards him.
"Have you ever considered the impact your actions had on our family?" his father asked with curiosity.
Kieran shook his head. "I didn't intend to bring shame upon anyone, Daddy. It's just that those individuals have a narrow-minded perspective. Tolerance and acceptance seem to be absent in their hearts."
"It goes against moral principles, you understand that," his father stated firmly.
"If you believe that my love for him solely revolves around what you consider immoral, such as intercourse or sexual activity, then you're mistaken. Our relationship was built on more than just physical intimacy. We truly love each other. Or perhaps you struggle with the idea that Hardin is a man? Dad, that's the reality, it's a love between two men. I have no shame in openly acknowledging my homosexuality."
"Express yourself fully, son."
His smile lit up. "Our relationship was deemed unacceptable by society because Hardin and I are both men. Every day, I endure hateful slurs like 'fag' and 'f*cking fagot' thrown at me, even threats of harm. Yet, my love for Hardin remains unchanged. No one can sway my conviction, not even when faced with physical violence. Being gay is not an illness; it is simply a part of who I am. And choosing to be with Hardin is not solely about being gay; it is purely about love."
"You didn't ask me to forgive you?"
"Each day, I will continue to ask you-"
"I can't give it to you right now. Please have patience, Kieran."
He sobbed, saying, "I'm filled with immense relief now, Dad. Thank you." Embracing his father, it was a poignant moment, their first hug. The sensation of his dad gently massaging his shoulders felt unreal. A faint car horn sounded from outside the house.
"That must be Hardin," Mr. Pornthip deduced.
Kieran's eyes widened in astonishment. "Wait... You're aware that Hardin didn't leave?" He had deceived Hardin with a false story, claiming that his father wanted to speak with him. In reality, Kieran's intention was to surprise his father by arranging for Hardin to be there. His dad firmly believed that Hardin had departed Bangkok. Yet, to his surprise, it was Kieran who found himself taken aback. How had his father discovered that Hardin was still in Bangkok?
"He can't leave you. He loves you. Please ask him to come inside, I would like to speak with him." His father's smile reassured Kieran.
Without hesitation, Kieran stood up and hurried outside to meet Hardin. He embraced him tightly, sensing the nervousness and fear etched on Hardin's face. Despite Hardin's apprehension, he couldn't resist as Kieran gently guided him inside until they stood before Mr. Pornthip.
Mr. Pornthip studied Hardin's face intently. Respectful of their privacy, Kieran stepped away to give them space. Hardin collected his thoughts, readying himself for their conversation. However, before Hardin could utter a word, Mr. Pornthip spoke, his voice filled with intensity.
"Didn't I ask you to leave Bangkok?" He questioned, his tone rising. "You promised to depart and return after six years. Why are you still here?"
Hardin's gaze remained steady as he spoke from the depths of his heart. "Because I love him," he referred to Kieran. "I cannot bear to leave Kieran sad and alone."
Mr. Pornthip nodded to Hardin with a stern expression. "We've already discussed this, and you must leave and end your relationship with Kieran."
Hardin's heart tightened with anguish. "But I can't do that!"
Mr. Pornthip's smile betrayed his intentions. Hardin wondered why he was smiling. "You've made the right choice, Hardin. From now on, I need your promise that you won't hurt my son, Kieran. Can you assure me of that? You're now part of our family as my son-in-law. Do you embrace this idea?"
He stood there in disbelief, meeting Mr. Pornthip's gaze. The elderly man smiled warmly at him. Did he hear correctly? Did Mr. Pornthip just ask him to take care of Kieran? It was the happy ending they had both longed for. Overwhelmed, he was unable to speak a word. Instead, he nodded three times, his eyes welling up with tears. But these were tears of sheer joy.