"What about my uterus, doctor?" asked May with difficulty. She tried not to cry now. Right now she feels so low. Many big questions in her arise.
Why should her body receive all this? Why should she? Why didn't Rena, and had to herself? Even though she also wants to have children, why does it have to be so hard to have children?
Alvin, who knew about it, now embraced May. He knew that his wife must have been devastated by what the doctor had said. But it's a reality. However, they could not deny that there was indeed a problem in May's womb.
"The wall of Mrs. May's uterus is not like in general. It's a little thinner and that makes the risk of miscarriage even higher. If it's difficult or not to get pregnant, it doesn't matter, it's just that when the baby is growing, that's a little more to pay attention to. It seems that if you are going to do a pregnancy program, you have to be careful, because of the risk of miscarriage."
After the doctor's long words, May cried in Alvin's arms. She can't bear to hear all the things about her that are always not good.
"Sorry, Alvin. Sorry..." That's the word May used for her husband. She now feels very low. And Alvin knows it. He was silent as he stroked the top of May's head and kissed her many times.
Nobody wants that. But again, Alvin was sure that all of this was a trial for him and May. So according to Alvin, he wasn't that shaken. It's just that his wife wants to have a baby. That's what makes May so down now.
"Sorry to say this. But I think Mrs. May, more people have more severe complaints. So don't think about it too much! The medical world has many medicines to support pregnancies with problems like this. There are boosters and others. We can try that in the future. The thing that must be focused on now is the mood of Mrs. May herself and also the health of the ovum and sperm. If you take good care of your health, the pregnancy program will run smoothly," explained the doctor again at length.
But that didn't immediately make May feel relieved. She is now silently crying. The biggest fact in her life now is that she is not a perfect woman. Always have unusual deficiencies in women who will become future mothers.
"I've never made you happy, Alvin. Sorry Alvin, sorry for being an imperfect wife."
May's mumbling is now heard again. Alvin took a deep breath. He expected that it would be difficult to calm May now.
"Does my wife have to take medication, doc?" asked Alvin trying to find out more clearly about May's current situation.
The doctor shook his head. "No, before Mrs. May was declared pregnant. If for now, you and Mr. want to continue the pregnancy program, that's fine. After that, if it is successful, then Mrs. May must carry out routine checkups and preventive treatment."
Alvin nodded. She knows now. What is at the core of everything is the safety of the baby, so May's uterus must be strengthened if its program is indeed successful.
"Okay doctor, thank you. We'll say goodbye first."
Alvin hugged May who was now a little better. May is not crying, just daydreaming now. May seems to have a lot of thoughts.
Alvin wiped May's tears after they changed seats to be in an outside gazebo near the clinic canteen which was still quiet. May is still daydreaming. She just followed Alvin wherever her husband went.
Alvin patiently understood May. May must have been devastated. A woman wants this. Be a mother to their children someday. But her wife is different from other women. She is stronger so they are the ones who are given trials by God as they are now.
"Sorry, Alvin. If you want to remarry that's fine too. I'm not a perfect woman."
Alvin sighed. It seemed that what he had learned was indeed happening now.
There used to be a friend of Alvin's who had told me about the same thing, and his wife's response was the same. Exactly like May.
So Alvin wasn't surprised anymore. He knows this is common when women are overthinking.
"I don't think I can be a mother. Meanwhile, our family hopes to have grandchildren. I'm sincere. You marry again, I won't bother you."
Alvin kept watching May. He didn't say anything, nor did he deny what his wife said. Alvin knew that May was trying to give the best for him.
"You want it? You should never defend a woman like me!"
May's tears broke again. The woman seemed very tormented by her own words and also her thoughts. Even if the doctor said, they should be healthy. Both mental and psychic. Precisely this is not good for their pregnancy program.
"Alvin you want yes!"
Alvin kissed May's forehead. He hugged his wife tightly. May's question was not answered at all.
It was only when May was silent and Alvin felt that his wife was better able to accept Alvin's words, did the man decide to speak.
"May, do you know what I got married for? One way to have children is true. But many other factors made me want to get married and I decided that because of you, May. You are the person I chose. It has become a consequence From the beginning, whatever happens, we have to face it together. You and I both have to face whatever trials God gives May. So don't cry anymore okay? Whatever happens, I will always be with you and support you. You are part of me and I am part of you. We have agreed not to have too high expectations about children. So don't say that again, May. Only you and only you will continue to be with me. We will go through everything together!"
Long Alvin explained and it was all well heard by May. Instantly his feelings were torn again. She felt wrong with her very inappropriate words and wishes to Alvin earlier. Even though the man accepted her well, May instead treat Alvin badly.
"I, I--"
"It's okay, honey. I know how you feel that you don't feel good and that it's appropriate for everyone when you're in a phase like that. I know you May. So you don't need to explain that. The most important thing is we have to focus on solutions it's not the same problem, okay? You have to promise to never be sad again or even have thoughts of letting go of our sacred marriage! You don't make your thoughts more complicated, May. Promise me?"