I hide a dire face under my eyebags that almost tell me to rest, since I was tutoring Lucia, I have to modify all of her usual subjects in the past months. Luckily she was able to catch up to her classes and made it through the day. 
    
    What gives me this is the fact that she has a hard time understanding philosophy, and modern ruling. So I had to push her through the night to teach her the basic art of peace. 
    
    The only book I know that gives the meaning of Philosophy and Rules. The Art of Peace is the basic understanding philosophical book that I currently found in the old archives. 
    
    I feel a little tired but my suffering has paid off. Lucia understands only one page of the book and that's great. Today, I was planning on sharing my thoughts as the one who studies frequently studies everything, like the basics of formal academics and non formal academics that I barely passed last year. 
    
    Of course that is different when it comes to learning only about swords. So, I barely passed written knowledge because of my lack of understanding. It should be different now, because I've studied hard to attain this knowledge. 
    
    Ah, right today is our embroidery, and dance class. Lady Mari is our teacher, and around noon, will be having a meeting with the Crown Prince regardless of the emperor and the happenings in the Imperial Palace. 
    
    Looking at my hagar face in front of the half-size makeup mirror made me shrug my head. One thing can describe my foil mood, tiredness, ah no irritation to the person who can't learn the basics! But Lucia can be considered smart if not for her lack of understanding, she was able to learn the first page basic understanding of the Art of Peace in a few hours. 
    
    Few seconds of brushing my eyes again and again, suddenly Anna arrived at my door and didn't bother knocking. Anna hasn't changed a bit, she would often forget knocking so I just let her do it. 
    
    "Ah, my lady, did you stay up all night again? " I give her a frown before nodding while unable to notice my surroundings and carefully place my chin onto the make-up drawer. 
    
    "Please stop pouting like that, shall we dress you up? Ah, your father is requesting a meal with you today." Upon hearing my father, I looked up to her with an eye filled with hope. The only one who can possibly lighten up my mood would be my father, and I guess it is right. 
    
    "Will he be staying!? " Anna gave off an unfortunate look before she looked away. "Milady only gets excited if milord is being mentioned, " she then brushed my hair with a comb as gently as she could. 
    
    Why, of course. I have been a lovable daughter since that day. Yeah only in the eyes of my father but I am different in other people's eyes. Since Anna had known of my swordsman skill, she never asked me about it since then. 
    
    I secretly train Adrian myself and he teaches them back to his comrades. So I happen to become their teacher, so they become my disciple in secret. We had been careful these days to avoid getting caught by my fathers spies, ah I mean eyes. The residence might have other spies reporting to him 24/7.
    
    Although that was the case, we usually get out of the residence if I train Dores, Adrian and Sain alone, probably to escape my fathers surveillance day and night. 
    
    During weekends, my father would often send letters that he'll be staying late at night in the palace or he'll not be present in our dinner, so having to say that he decided to have a meal with her daughter is pretty intriguing because he hadn't been seen at home like how it used to be.
    
    Ah, since then I became more different from how I actually acted as a reaper. So it was satisfying at least that I recovered less of my powers, it has improved since as well as how my body works well now. The voice didn't come through my head like it did when I pushed my limit, although I get nightmares at night on rare days and would often scream that makes everyone in the residence panic. 
    
    So in those days, my father would stay with me to avoid those nightmares and we often had fun talking to each other. 
    
    Though as I turn 11, my daily classes increase. The reason? Usually a noble lady of a certain house, or lord will start their classes at said age to teach them all basic and proper manners, as well as knowledge to survive in the court, before they reach the age of 16 at their debut on the Social Circle. 
    
    The High Society... So I work day and night to learn all of this that was taught to a mere 11 years old... 
    
    Anna brought me to the wardrobe and carefully helped me in a dress. I will probably start using those tight dresses soon, so having to say that my dress now is a lot more comfortable than dresses that will have to be forcibly fit unto you makes me relieved. 
    
    I hate having to wear such things although even in my past life, they would often have those methods. I don't like to wear such dresses so I usually wear loose outfits that are also modified from the men's clothing. 
    
    "How is it? " I swayed around the mirror and nodded. "It's decent enough, " Anna gave me an unbelievable look before she smiled. 
    
    "Let's just get going, I don't know why I even ask, " I have no sense of fashion so I don't know how to react, or describe the feeling other than saying it as 'decent' enough that I could wear it. 
    
--+-•-+--
    
    After having a meal with my father this morning, I met Anastasia with Lucia at the lounge. They seem to be doing well these days, though I was the one suffering from teaching them both. 
    
    Ah, recently a psychiatrist came around to check my condition. He kept coming since the day I was paralyzed from using the Artificial Heart to an instinct and that father probably assumed that I have a mental health issue. 
    
    Well he's not entirely wrong either. The psychiatrist was one of the best at the neighboring empire, I was told that he was the best and fit to help me with my issues.
    
    Unfortunately, I'm mentally mad but that doesn't mean I can't be sane. Mei Chen might have lost her sense of stability but she still can manage to stay normal. The psychiatrist wasn't needed at all. 
    
    As I gazed upon the far scenery of the Crambell Garden, Anastasia held my hands and tears fell from it. I was really surprised that I looked at her with confusion.
    
    "Anastasia? " I called. 
    
    "M-milady, won't Sir Ulysses send me a letter, at least once!? " It's been awhile since she mentioned him again, I guess she was bothered about it. Ulysses is just a creation made from my reflection, but he wasn't real at all. I feel guilty for deceiving her but I couldn't help it. 
    
    "Anastasia, " I mumbled and gripped her hands. "I'm very glad you're caring about him, but it's time to let him go. " 
    
    She's older than I am but for her, Ulysses is not just someone to be forgotten. Ulysses was her savior, and the one who cared for her more than the one she had met before. 
    
    Anastasia seems to see him as only the idealist hero, a one existence that she yields for, an affection that made her ache from not achieving it. So that said Ulysses has already impacted her as a woman, hoping that one day she could see him again.
    
    She looked down and a heavy breath was heard from her grasp. "Why are you saying that you do not care!? Sir Ulysses was your half-brother but still he's your brother, why must you be so heartless!?? " 
    
    I couldn't take my eyes off her passionate stare. Her statement had also made me think, and seems like the existence of Ulyssess has already engraved down to her heart making me look at her in displease. 
    
    It's true that I don't care about him because Ulyssess doesn't even exist. Even if he does, it's not worthwhile, or maybe adopting someone really is necessary now that it comes to this. Though what I said about preserving our blood is merely an occupation, it's still an understatement. 
    
    Preserving our blood... It is not beneficial at all... 
    
    I gritted my teeth but I calmed myself down. "Truthfully, he might be actually dead, " she looked at me and the passionate look on her eyes turned vivid. 
    
    She became pale so her hands let go of me. Lucia looked at me with pain and disappointment. "Milady, we know that he wasn't in love here but why must you seek his death! " 
    
    Ulyssess existence had become a problem. I never considered such an intervention— because of such a man who did not exist. 
    
    Until Lucia hasn't been recognized as the empress candidate, I have no rights to reveal that his existence is merely intentional. I'll just have to endure this longer, it will be the cost of negotiable price. 
    
    "For the love of god! Forget Ulyssess already, he doesn't want to be remembered anyways, he already has his own life or worse death, " I said in a high voice as I bluntly moved back and walked away from them. 
    
    Such reactions didn't seem to fit Ulyssess's preference anyways.