For the next three days, Farhan hardly left his room, he stayed in locked away from the world, he refused to eat, refused to talk and worst of all refused to pray. Nothing Risha did seemed to work, at first she avoided him, her shame was too great, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him about his visit to Luna, she knew it didn’t go well, ever since he came back he was like a living dead. She felt his pain, his sorrow, his regret and his loss, yet there was nothing she could do about it, but fearing he would fall ill, she had summoned up the courage to talk to him, she knew nothing she could say that would help, knew how much he must hate her yet, she just had to help, when she spoke to him, it was like, taking to a dead person, it did not appear, he even heard her, he just lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She pleaded, begged, tried to reason but nothing worked. Throughout this time, she herself had hardly had any rest or food, her guilt increasing as his condition worsened.
Farhan held his phone up and read the message, it was from Hanifah, it was read simply, “Luna’s Nikah has been concluded.” He felt nothing, no pain, no hurt, no anger, nothing at all, almost like he had passed the stage where he could feel anything, closing his eyes, he dropped the phone, thinking. “So finally, it really was over”. All the while, he had sat there, not believing his fate, his destiny, hoping against hope that some miracle would happen, that Luna would change her mind, that he would wake up and find that it was all a bad dream, a long terrible nightmare.
“it’s really over now,” he whispered, she is now gone forever, now someone else’s to love and protect. Slowly, he got to his feet, his head aching, he felt dizzy and tired, as he walked he staggered a little as his weak legs made their way for the bathroom. After performing his ablution, he went ahead to pray, he wasn’t particularly pleased with God, but he wasn’t particularly pleased with himself either. After that, he packed his things slowly, hard as he tried, he could not think, all he knew was that he had to leave this place, had to get away from everything. As he made his way down the stairs, he saw her, she was sitting in the parlour on the sofa, her legs folded with her arms around them, her face covered in her knees. He stopped and stared at her, looking at her like that, all he could feel for her was pity, despite everything, he understood her, her pain, her regret but right now, nothing was alright with him, he couldn’t even help himself, talk more of someone else, as he continued to walk down the stairs, pulling his box behind him, she raised her head slowly, her eyes red with fatigue and tiredness, she had been crying, he could tell. She looked up at him, her gaze falling on the box, she sighed slowly, getting to her feet, walking slowly. She went to stand in front of him, they stared at each other, each as miserable as the other. They both looked every bit as tired, hopeless and lost. She wanted more than anything to ease his pain, and sorrow, even if it meant taking it all upon herself.
“But you made him this way in the first place” her conscience scolded her roughly, “you have ruined him”. She wanted to apologies but she knew that no amount of apology would ease his pain. As for Farhan, he just stood there, thinking nothing in particular, his mind was blank, his soul empty, slowly, he walked pass her, heading for the door. With the tears pouring, she watched him leave her, she wanted to beg him to stay but didn’t find the courage, it felt selfish, as he reached the door, he heard her call out his name.
“Farhan…” she whispered gently, he turned and looked at her she didn’t say anymore, she just bit her lips, as sobs shook her. Although she couldn’t bring herself to say it, her eyes did, he saw it clearly, read it crystal clear, the message she was trying to pass,
“I AM SORRY, PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME.”
Blinking away his own tears that he didn’t even realise was there, he whispered. “Risha I need to do this, I have never felt so lost in my entire life, I need to think”. It felt strange to him that he was explaining himself, almost like it was an obligation, he felt the need to reassure her somehow. He wanted to say more, but couldn’t find the right words. Deep in his heart, he didn’t want to leave, but reason dictated he did. “I don’t mean to give up on trying Risha, I just mean to try honestly.”
She just stared at him, the tears running free, for some strange reason, it felt like she would never see him again, that if he left, she would loss him forever. But was he ever hers to lose in the first place? She gazed at him intently, like she wanted to commit his features to memory. “I have to let him go, it’s the only sensible thing to do, the reasonable and most logical thing, he has suffered enough, I have to let him go,” “but to what are you letting him return to?” Her mind chastised, “you have destroyed his world, his home, his paradise, his love, where will he go from here?” The thought sent such guilt gripping her heart that instantly, there was so much she wanted to say, but it all seemed pointless. She opened her to speak, but words deserted her. Finally, she looked into his eyes and nodded her understanding.
Memories sweet and sour came to mind, their first meeting on that faithful day, the fun days, the pranks, the heart to heart talks, the friendly chats and the happy times spent together. They stared at each other for a long time before he turned and walked out.
Risha stayed frozen to the spot, her face devoid of any expression, she just stayed there staring at the door, she couldn’t tell what she was feeling, but it felt like her heart had left her body and all that remained was a deep hallow emptiness. After a few minutes, she looked around walking in a daze, she walked around as if in a trance, so it was all over, Farhan was gone and she was once again alone. Slowly, she sank to her knees as the sobs gripped her, she didn’t even bother to block the sounds, the house echoed with the sounds of her sobs as she cried like she had never cried before. “Yes, it’s all over now” she whispered, the fun, the company, the guidance, the friendship and love, everything had come to a disastrous end, that adventure that began in her father’s office had finally come to an end and she had achieved just what she had set out to accomplish, destroy him, make him suffer like none other. But in her foolishness, she had destroyed not only his life but hers as well. Memories sweet and sour haunted her as her mind relived the times spent together, the first time they met, their marriage, the times spent together…all these memories adding to her feeling of loss and regret. And just for a flinching second, she missed the girl she used to be, the care free, crazy and free spirit she once was. “Being good is so painful and hard” she thought smiling sadly through the tears. “How true the saying that the price for being good in this world is hurt and pain”. She remembered the last entry into his diary…it explained more than anything could his pain.
Sitting here feeling hopeless
Trying to smile nonetheless
Waiting in vain for life’s test
And wondering why I am different from the rest
With emotions buried deep,
to others I am nothing but a creep
and I long for even the faintest of hope
but with loneliness I have learnt to cope
the tears have ceased to flow
as faint memories of you begin to glow
to fading hope I shall hold on,
until this feeling of dread is gone
After a day of intense crying and hurting Risha was able to think, hard as it was, she had come to admit that this was her reality, nothing was going to change. Despite she knew this, she still expected him to walk in as he always did, to walk down the stairs, with that smile on his face, to tease her…breathing in deep breaths she looked around the parlour it felt so lonely, so lifeless, picking her phone, she switched it on and dialled, few seconds later, Alhaji Shehu’s voice came on the line.
He sounded worried when he spoke, “Risha dear, where have you been, I called over a hundred times, I thought I would have a heart attack.”
“Hi dad,” she whispered in a weak voice.
At the defeated tone in her voice, Alhaji Shehu paused for a few seconds. “What happened child, how are you?” He asked, concern showing in his voice.
“it’s over daddy, I have lost him, I have destroyed him daddy” she continued in the same weak voice.
“Don’t talk like that Risha, please, everything will be okay” his own voice was shaking.
“Daddy?”
“Yes dear?”
“Is this how it feels to lose someone you love?” She was crying now. “is this how you felt when you lost mum, is that what made you the way you are?”
“I think so honey, but I deserve everything I got, I never deserved your mother’s love nor yours, forgive me child, please forgive me” he cried.
“do you think we are bad people” she asked, “we are evil people right daddy?”
“No Risha, don’t ever say that, you are not a bad person, and you are definitely not evil either, no, that’s me dear, me, I am the evil one, don’t blame yourself.”
She smiled sadly, “Farhan once told me that I am not evil, but simply a good person that does bad things. Daddy, if really I am not evil, then neither are you, I know it’s coming late, but please forgive me if you can dad, I treated you so badly, with so much scorn and disrespect…I am sorry.” She sobbed
“It’s never too late Risha, and you don’t have to be sorry for anything, you will be fine child, I promise.”
“Daddy?”
“Yes dear?”
“Have I ever told you that I love you?”
He smiled, “A very long time ago, yes.”
“Well I do,” she whispered, “so much.”
Alhaji Shehu was quiet, he could not speak, the pain in her voice despite the words she was saying was unbearable for him.
“Will you give a second chance child? Will you let me make up for my sins?”
“Yes dad, I will love that more than anything else now, you are all I have left, I would love to be your daughter again, your little girl, I would love to start over.”
“Thank you so much darling, that means so much to this old man, so much” he sobbed.
They spoke on long into the night about the past and the good old days, about the future and the promise it held, no matter how bleak the future seemed, there seemed to be some hope. By the time Risha hung up, it was mid night and for once in many days, she slept with a smile on her lips, despite everything, she still had daddy to love and cherish, to live for, to make up for her past mistakes.
Farhan sat on the sofa in the small room, his mind far away from his present surroundings, it had been almost a week now and still his feeling of loss was still as fresh as it was a few days back, maybe even worst, for him, life no longer had any meaning, any purpose. For him the loss was double. First, it had only been Luna, then slowly, Risha. In the past few months, he had missed Luna so much that it was a natural feeling for him, but not Risha, that was new, he never thought he cared for her so much, never thought that he would worry about her so much, miss her so much, hard as he tried not to, he found himself wishing he was with her, he missed her smiles, her voice, her eyes, her cute craziness, her pranks, he found himself wondering what she was doing at all times, has she eaten, has she prayed, did she sleep well? Was she crying hurting like he was? It was a strange feeling for him at first, he felt embarrassed for having such thoughts, like he was betraying Luna, betraying himself, then it occurred to him that there was no longer Luna, not anymore, not for him at least. There was only Risha, the crazy girl that he had been forced to marry, the girl who had invaded his world and made him her captive, a girl who was his wife, a girl he had come to respect, to care for. In these few days, he had been compelled to see a new Risha in his mind’s eyes, not the crazy girl she was a few months before, but the graceful lady she had made of herself, the caring, respectful and beautiful lady she become, the selfless and mature woman that had slowly but steadily replaced the girl. Subconsciously, he found himself remembering her beauty, her charms her grace. Yet, he struggled with all these feelings too stubborn to admit to himself what it signified, despite the strong urge to go back, he just couldn’t bring himself to go back there. He could find a million reason to go back to her and non to stay away, yet he refused to. it was in such a confused state of mind he was in when he heard a gentle knock on the door of the single roomed apartment he was renting. It was in a remote area in the city; hence he was surprised at the unexpected sound, no one knew he was here, slowly getting up to his feet, he walked to the door and opened it.
His little eyes got bigger as they registered on the person at the door way. Alhaji Shehu stood there, dressed to Farhan’s amazement in a jeans trouser and black hooded sweater that covered his head and face, he looked nothing like the billionaire that he was.
Noticing how shocked Farhan was, he smiled a little, taking off the hood. “Can I come in?” he asked looking over his shoulders, as if he was scared someone was following him.
Still unable to speak, Farhan just stepped aside letting the old man walk in.
“Pay no attention to my appearance my boy, it’s the only way I can move around discreetly” he said looking around as he sat down comfortably.
Farhan observed him keenly, this was the last person he expected to see, looking at the man like this, he didn’t quite know exactly what it was he felt for him, as a manager and his employer, he respected him as an efficient and reliable business, he had been so nice to him when he had started working in his company, a fatherly figure, he was a mentor Farhan had looked up to for a while, until that faithful day, in his office, until those words hard left his lips, until he had threatened without moderating his words, the lives of the people he loved more than his own. Whatever respect he had for him had vanished at that moment.
“it’s a nice place you have got here” Alhaji commented.
A little irritated by the small talk, Farhan was eager to be alone, “Sir, how did you know to find me here and what can I do for you?” as politely as he could manage.
“Well young man, you are still my attorney, there is a lot you would be doing for me in the next few days as for my knowing where to find you, why don’t we keep that confidential, it’s one of those if I told you, I would have to kill you stuffs.” He smiled.
Getting fed up, Farhan started to speak his mind before he was cut off by Alhaji.
“Farhan my boy here me out before you speak” he said becoming serious, “in my life I have done things I am not proud of, thing I regret greatly, one of it is treating you the way I did, I won’t ask for your understanding, nor will I request that you forgive me, I don’t even deserve that from you. I cannot begin to imagine just how much you must despise me right now. As you and I know, I and only I am responsible for your misfortunes, from the moment I met you my boy, I wished you were my son, all your virtues and character are what any father would wish for in their child. I knew in my heart that my Risha needed someone like you in her life, I thought and thought of how I would get you two together, no ideas came until that faithful day, when Risha accused you of that despicable crime, knowing you and knowing my daughter even more, I knew you were innocent, however, I saw that as the only opportunity I will ever get to make what I wanted happen, I was desperate my boy, so desperate to save my daughter and I admit I didn’t think much of the other lives I would ruin in the process. Today I see how foolish I was then and how wrong my decision was. I have destroyed my daughter’s life and yours as well, for this, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. As I have said I won’t ask you to forgive me, but please forgive my Risha, let all your feuds be directed at me. She was just a spoilt child who didn’t know what she was doing.”
Farhan stood resting his back on the wall, his face towards the ground, he listened attentively as Alhaji spoke, he understood everything Alhaji had said, why he had done what he did, but still, he felt anger deep inside him, “so I was the sacrificial lamb,” he said smiling, despite his anger.
Without even bothering to deny it Alhaji Shehu nodded, his face showing his embarrassment. “It was the hardest decision I ever took, but I did it for my daughter and if I am to be a little honest, for self also.”
“Well, all that is in the past, what can I do for you sir, why have you come?” Farhan asked in a professional tone.
“I have come to give you my final will and the final instructions as to how it should be carried out.” As he spoke, he brought out an envelope from the pocket of his trousers. This should be opened only after I have passed on. I need you to handle this without most discretion Farhan, despite everything, you are the only one I can trust.”
Frowning a little as he thought about everything, Farhan observed Alhaji intently, something was troubling him, despite his efforts to remain calm, a keen observer would notice he was agitated and tensed. The manner in which he had come pointed to the fact that everything was not well.
“Is everything ok sir?” Farhan asked looking worried, “why the sudden change of heart regarding your will? Why have you come here secretly, is there something else I should know?”
Alhaji observed Farhan keenly, as if debating whether or not to speak what was on his mind. Finally he smiled, “You know Farhan, wealth can be both a blessing and a curse, it gives you material pleasure but if you are not careful, it can become a disease that makes you greedy, selfish, arrogant and prideful, it can become an obsession, most rich men believe that they control their wealth, but in truth, their wealth controls them, I have been unfortunate to be one of those unlucky ones. Wealth and riches bring you fame and prestige, but also jealousy and envy. It makes you many enemies. I have many enemies Farhan, many. And I feel they are drawing close and I don’t have much time left. A conspiracy has been hatched against me, I know this very well and it would seem that my own brothers are behind it. I don’t know how much time I have left, but I am tired of fighting Farhan, so tired. In the eventuality of my death I want you to know this. As we speak, my two brothers and a few top-ranking officials at the company are having a meeting in a secret location, nothing good can come from this, they have always converted my wealth and I fear now not for my life but for my daughters’.”
At the mention of Risha, Farhan head jerked up involuntarily, “Risha, is she in danger?” he asked concerned.
I don’t know for certain but if anything was to happen to me, that would leave Risha as the only obstacle in their way, my brothers won’t have that, they have no love for her as they harbour non for me. Hence, the change in my will is to forestall such an occurrence, I might be wrong about everything, but I have a feeling I am not, in any case I want you to be ready if…well if anything happens to me”
Farhan digested that, “then do something Alhaji, for God’s sake do something, you know a plot is being planned, then do something.”
Smiling a little, Alhaji looked at Farhan, “what would you have me do? Eliminate my brothers?”
“You know that’s not what I mean, report to the police or something?”
“And tell them what exactly? That my brothers are having a meeting with my top officials, that I am not sure but I think my life is in danger? You are lawyer, you know that’s not enough.”
“So, you wait until something happens to you? Until something happens to Risha?” Farhan asked as he felt the fear grip him. It all sounded like a joke, like some movie, but Alhaji was not a man to fret easy, this was serious.
“That is one of the reasons why I am here, I need to ask a favour that I have no right to ask, if ever anything happens to me, I leave Risha in your care, you are the only person I trust, you will protect her for me, won’t you Farhan?” He asked showing how scared and helpless he was. I am asking this not as your employer, but as your Muslim brother, as a father promise me you will do this Farhan.”
Farhan was at a loss for word, “calm down Alhaji please, you are scaring me, in shaa Allah (God’s willing), everything will be alright, nothing of such will happen to you…”
“Just promise me still, please, Risha is my everything, my greatest treasure.”
Reluctantly, Farhan nodded.
“I should be leaving now, I don’t think anyone followed me, but it pays to be careful, you would here from me soon I hope, until then, keep in mind what I told you.”
As he walked to the door, he stopped to put his hand on Farhan’s shoulder and smiled “Thank you” he said “for everything, for making Risha a better person, for agreeing to do this for me.”
“I am not doing this for you sir, I am doing it for her, but in any case you are welcome.”
“That’s even better” Alhaji commented. “I hope that by this last act of mine I might be able to make up for some of my sins. Good bye my boy” he said and walked out hurriedly.
Farhan stood a few minutes trying to get his mind over everything, he couldn’t believe this was happening, couldn’t believe that Alhaji and Risha were in mortal danger, the more he thought about it the more it seemed like a movie, surely, Alhaji was just being paranoid nothing bad would happen… he kept telling himself as he looked at the envelope in his hands, what did Alhaji mean by repairs? Whatever it meant, he would find out some day, and no time soon he hoped.
Farhan awoke to the sound of his phone ringing, he sat up in his bed rubbing his eyes, reaching for his phone, while checking the time, he wondered who was calling at this hour, it was 4am in the morning checking to see it Hanifah’s number, he picked.
“Hello?” he said in a sleepy voice.
“Hello, Farhan, have you heard?” Hanifah’s voice sounded panicked, she cried as she spoke.
Farhan sat up straight instantly, “heard what?” he inquired, “what is it Nifah, tell me.”
“Its Alhaji, its Alhaji, Farhan, they said he had an accident, they said he is dead Farhan” she cried.
The words hit him like a thunder bolt, he felt paralysed instantly, panic and fear crept up his spine, remembering Alhaji’s visit, all his thoughts where at once directed at one person “RISHA!”.