JANE'S POV
TWO weeks have passed since Chanelle was buried. After that, I never showed up for Kent and Isabella. I can't even text or call yet.
I want to be alone first.
I am here today at my grandmother's house in the province. I came here first so that I would not remember those events there in Manila. The events were too painful for me, and two weeks was not enough for me to move on there right away.
I took the notebook Chanelle gave me before she was shot. I looked at it and my suspicion was correct.
"It's her diary."
I looked at what was written but they were short. Different than I expected. The dates also vary.
Entry #1
I thought I was going to die then. I was walking to school for our group reporting only to have a car pull up in front of me. But a woman pushed me and she was hit instead of me. I feel very guilty, but I am also grateful that she saved my life.
Entry #2
Selene Perez is the name of my savior, said her gangster boyfriend. I'm glad she saved me but I really feel guilty. She was comatose for a month because of that. So this is me, taking care of her. Even though we don’t know each other, I’m still always here in the hospital and watching over her with Rence.
Entry #3
Finally! Selene woke up! But I just have bad news. The impact of the bump on her head was strong, that's why she was suffering from amnesia. And the doctor said it would be bad for her if she still remembers what happened because she might have a mental breakdown. So I felt even more guilty because Selene's parents sent her boyfriend away so that Selene would not remember her past.
I owe her my life, so I will take care of her as best I can.
"That's why she's always with her," I exclaimed before I moved on to the next page of Chanelle's diary.
Entry #4
Selene and I are now friends! I'm so so so happy! And she told me something, she said she had a new crush! I guess that's Page? It's just that she seems to feel scared of him at the same time. Why is that? My best friend's weird, hahaha! But in fact, even though I had never seen that man, I was immediately afraid of him.
"Page?" I murmured. "Why does it sounds familiar?"
I looked at entry #5 and noticed that the letter was a bit messy.
Entry #5
Omo! Selene and I are going for a walk in the park! It's just that... there are bad guys who blocked Selene and me. They stabbed Selene, so I blocked her from them. The bad guy said that they would make Selene repay for what her boyfriend did to them then. Fortunately, a man rescued us and took us to the hospital. My body aches. I want to rest.
I was in tears when I flipped over to the next page. This is the one in the hospital... I'm telling you, I know she's hurting even if she doesn't show it.
Entry #6
I'm crying. Selene forgot about me, too. But, on the other hand, it's okay, and at least she forgot what those bad guys did to her. But I am still grateful because my sister is always there by my side and she never leaves me, no matter how rebellious I was.
I smiled there in the last sentence. Of course, I love her. Always.
"I miss you so much, Chan..." I said when I got there in Entry #7. She was also obviously crying while writing this because the other letters written on the paper had faded.
Entry #7
I invited my sister to the park. We are still wearing a couple dress I've personally bought. It's my dream, and maybe now I can make it come true. We are cute. Hahaha. But I knew this would be the last day the two of us would be together. Those bad guys were mad at me because if I hadn't blocked Selene then, she should be dead by now. That's why they've been following me ever since, because they know I'll be an obstacle to their bad plan with Selene.
I knew they were just watching me, and they were going to kill me too. But if this is the only way for them not to kill Selene, I will. Even if I needed to serve as her replacement.
Ate Jane,
Maybe as you read this, I am already in Heaven. Always be careful. Don’t trust other people right away. Because those bad guys were always around. Ate, I love you so much. Take care of yourself as I am always here to watch over you. You just don't see me but I'm always here. But, can you watch over Selene, too? Maybe the bad guys will come back to her. And I hope you make her happy like what you'll always do for me. I felt sorry for her, and I was afraid that I might not be there to support her anymore.
And I hope you can be happy without me, too. I know you can overcome this.
I burst into tears after I read the letter. I feel like I'm going to die from the extreme pain I'm feeling. But soon, I realized that I shouldn’t be crying now. I have to be brave. For Chanelle. For Selene.
For myself.
"Promise, Chan, I'll take care of Selene," I whispered to myself.
And since then, I’ve been friends with Selene. Kent and I still have communication because we talk by phone and text. Isabella and I were sometimes communicating as well, but not as often as before.
I thought everything would be okay, but something unexpected happened.
Those who killed Chanelle and hurt Selene, they tried to kill Kent by framing up something as a car accident. I am not naive. I know how to spot the differences between a real accident, and a covered-up murder. I can't afford to lose someone else than Chanelle.
So, I joined a gang and made a deal with them. They wanted me from the start, so I just accepted their offer. I will join their gang but in return, they must make sure Kent and Selene are safe. They said that they can do that, but I must abide by their condition.
I must accept the title of being the Queen of all Gangsters. And one of the rules was that I should stay away from everything that would interfere with me being their leader.
And the obstacle they were talking to... was Kent.
And even though it hurt me, I did it. I walked away from Kent without saying anything. And I regret that the extreme pain that Kent experienced when I left him made his HCM get worse. I hurt him so hard and his heart couldn't take it.
I know I am at fault.
He had an arranged engagement with Isabella after that, hoping that they would love each other but something else happened.
Kent fell in love at first sight with Selene, and Selene fell in love with Kent.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
"So, this is me now, and even though it hurts because I still love Kent so much, I'm making way for Selene and Kent to stay together."
I don’t want to hurt them both. I was disgusted with myself when I saw them both crying. I told her everything, up to my plan for the two and their love story. But why am I talking about this with a child like her?
Ah, right. I can't let go of resentment. And now, I somehow feel relieved. It was as if I had lost a burden in my heart.
I looked at Sharm as she took a handkerchief and blew out her mucus. She cried at my story. Tss.
"Why are you crying?" I asked in confusion.
"C-Can I make that story on my website? I'm sure it will be popular with my readers," she said while sniffing. "But If you don't want to, that's fine."
"Ge. It's up to you," I answered casually. "But you don't have to say that it was my story. Do you understand?" I said and she nodded while crying.
And I walked away. Unlike before, I feel good.
Because I feel like I am free from the pain I held on to for the past few years.
But why do I feel like someone is watching me?