The boy was on the ground crying and holding his pocket so tight so they won’t take whatever was in his pocket. The 4 boys were just looking at me as I walked up to the boy, helped him get on his feet and asked him to go.
Me: hey boy, get up. You can go now.
Boy: thank you sir.
The boy stood up and ran off.
I then turned back to start going.
Bully4 (leader): Alaye, as you don pour sand for our garri, you go provide another food o
Me: look for someone of your size, not bullying little children.
Bully1: Scorpion, make we drill am?
Leader: treat en fuck up.
They all grabbed me like I was free money. I could not even fight back. If I try punching any of them, one will hold my hand. I received one hell of a beating that afternoon. At a point, I remembered my saying “when wisdom calls, you must obey”. I had to apply wisdom, if not, those niggas were ready to kill me. I started forming asthmatic; like I was finding it difficult to breath.
“Aayyyhhhh aaayyyyhhhhh” (breathing heavily)
Their leader: bulldog, you hit en wind pipe?
Bully2 (bulldog): which one be windpipe? Na only en head I hit o.
Bully3: the guy no dey breathe well o.
Bully1: his own windpipe is in the head…
Bully2: what are you saying? Am I the only one hitting him?
Bully4: we dey tell you something, you still talk rubbish. Na you hit en windpipe.
The boys argued over who must have hit me on my gullet until they left me there. To make it more real, I started behaving like I had convulsion…I tried bringing out foam from my mouth but it didn’t work. From convulsion I changed to epilepsy.
Thank God I forgot my phone at home, they would have taken it. I had only N500 note in my hind pocket, which they took.
The beating was too much that I laid on the ground for almost 10 minutes to regain myself. I guess that was why people preferred minding their business. I just couldn’t….
After I had regained myself, I stood up, dust my clothes and I jejely returned home.
On my way home, I was just praying in my mind….
“God, don’t let Regina or Segun be at home o”
“Father save me from their laughing, in fact don’t let them see me”
My head was beginning to swell up… I think, one of them used his boot on my head when I was on the ground.
Luckily for me, none of them were at home when I got back. I went in to look at myself in the mirror. My left eye had turned red and I had bruises on my face. My arms hurt badly because of the way, their leader twisted my arm backward.
“Choi, see my fine face don turn to ape own”
“Even my head is looking like hell boy’s head”
I decided to go take my bath, clean up, wear my head warner to cover my swollen head and pretend like nothing happened. Then I remembered the purse I picked last night…. I hid it inside the Guitar’s jacket.
I brought out the purse and opened it to see what could be inside.
I saw ID cards, folded tissue paper and a house key. I wondered how a robber would take something that could expose him or her to an operation.
The girl’s name was Queen Walter. A 200L law student.
“A Law student breaking the law. This country is funny o”
“Chai… her passport photo fine sha”
“Fine girl wey dey rob”
I said, still going through her ID cards.
Moments later, I heard Regina’s voice in the sitting room.
“Derra are you back?” “Where are you? Come and say hello to mummy”.
My face was still looking messed up. I wanted to rush into the bathroom but she was already at the door. So, I hid myself under the blanket.
Regina: Derra? Are you okay?
Me: uhhmm I’m fine…. just tired and cold.
Regina: what happened to you?
Me: nothing. I just want to sleep.
She came closer and sat on the bed. She wanted to remove the blanket and check my body temperature….
Me: no-no-no don’t open the blanket.
Regina: why? I want to check your temperature.
Me: I’m so cold…. if you open it now…. Colder will enter my body.
Regina: how are you cold under this hot weather?
Me: maybe it’s malaria.
Regina: let me just see your face nau.
Me: No-no-no….
She dragged the blanket away. Oops!
Regina: Jesus…!!
She was staring at my swollen head.
Me: I’m okay.
Regina: who did this to you?
Me: who? Nobody. I fell down when I was going to the kitchen.
Regina: fell?
Me: yes. I hit my head on the floor.
Regina: stand up, let me see.
Me: it’s nothing. I’ll be fine.
Regina: why are you lying to me?
Me: I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to start stressing you.
She brought one of the plastic chairs in the room….
Regina: sit here. Let me get rub.
She went to get a rub and a rope…
Me: rope? What for?
Regina: trust me. The rub will be painful a bit but it will reduce the pain in your head.
Me: I know. What of the rope?
She used the rope to tie my hands behind the chair and also my legs.
Me: what are you doing?
Regina: it will help restrain you from running out.
Me: I don’t think this is a good idea Regina.
Regina: it is o.
Me: can you please loosen the rope? It’s too tight.
Regina: it’s better like that.
She then sat on my lap like she was about giving me lap dance.
Me: what are you doing?
Regina: if you don’t tell me the truth, I will press this your extra head on your head.
Me: what truth?
Regina: what happened to you?
Me: I told you I fell down…
Regina: lies.
Each time I lie, she would press my swollen head.
Me: (shouting) arrrgghhhhhhh…. My head.
Regina: what happened to you?
Me: I’m telling you nau. I fell down in the kitchen and hit my head on the floor.
She pressed it again….
“Regina aaaaahhhhhh you are killing me o”
Regina: you fell? What about the wounds on your face?
Me: there was a rat in the kitchen when I fell. The rat climbed my face and started scratching my face.
She pressed it again….
“aah ahh ahh…. Kuku kill me. You are hurting me o”
Regina: why are your clothes dirty?
Me: ahhh I was rolling on the floor nah.
Regina: I’ll press button on your head o.
Me: ah wait-wait- I will tell you.
Regina: start talking.
Me: I went to fight.
Regina: fight?
Me: I saw this boy. He was being bullied by some other boys, so I decided to go help him and in return I was bounced on.
Regina: I don’t believe you.
Me: I swear…. I’m not lying.
She untied the rope and gently applied the rub on my head.
Regina: I’ve told you to stop fighting.
Me: I nearly beat them o. there were 4 of them. I held the first guy on his neck and gave him choke slam. The second rushed to grab my waist, gbeem.
Regina: what’s gbeem?
Me: that’s the sound of my kick on his head. I gave that one Shaw Michael’s final kick.
Regina: uhmmmm only you?
Me: yes o. the third one ran for his life. It was the 4th one that smashed my head with his boot.
Regina: eeeeh…. Sorry o. how come you are still alive?
Me: it was God sha.
Regina: yen yen yen yen …. see your big mouth. You will stay like this and just open your mouth waaaaaaaaaah and be saying nonsense.
Me: so, you don’t believe me?
Regina: shut up jare. With this skinny hand, you are giving people choke slam.
Me: don’t underestimate the power of bestowed in me.
Regina: who gave this one power? Amadioha or Ojuju Calabar.
Me: Regina avoid me o.
I left her to take my shower.
Regina: who is Queen? Your new girlfriend?
Me: (in the bathroom) don’t touch that ID card o. I’m working on a case.
Regina: Ele o Mr. slim case.
I just took a 5 minutes shower immediately.
Me: that’s one of the robbers last night at Bethany’s street.
Regina: what are you talking about?
Me: I heard her voice…. And while they were running, her purse fell off.
Regina: we need to take it to the police first.
Me: which eye police?
Regina: what will you do with it?
Me: like I said, I’m working on a case.
Regina: don’t be ridiculous Derra…. She is a criminal. If we don’t stop her now…. she will rob other people.
Me: first of all, they are no “we”. I’m working alone on this case. Second of all, she’s a student and a girl for that matter. Don’t you want to know why she got herself involved in such act?
Regina: don’t talk to me again. Shey you said, you are working alone?
Me: ah ah… my baby mama. You to dey vex quick. I didn’t mean it.
Regina: leave me.
Me: I’m sorry nau.
She left the room….
Later that night, Segun returned from whenever he went to, late at night. It was almost 10pm when he arrived. Regina and I were so worried. When he entered, he was drunk….
Me: Segun, have you been drinking?
Segun: I believe I can fly… I want to fly into heaven
Regina: he is definitely drunk.
Me: when did you start drinking?
Segun: I am your igwe…. don’t question me. Now show me my palace.
He fell on the floor and slept off….
Regina: don’t even tell me to help you carry him.
Me: I’m not going to say that. Are you still angry?
Regina: abeg lock the door.
“ay ay ay…. Everybody go down now”
“Are you deaf? Go down now”
Arm robbers in our house. Segun didn’t shut the gate when he entered.