How did she know someone was in the wardrobe? I didn’t make any sound while I was inside. Even though I never liked hiding in a box-like shape. it was really terrifying, I still made sure I controlled my fear inside there.
Emilia was also surprised and confused at how her mum knew someone was in the wardrobe.
When her mum left, she opened the wardrobe.
“I am finished” she said, with her hands on her head.
Me: finished? What finished you?
Emilia: my mum knew you were here with me.
Me: what? That can’t be true.
Emilia: if after today, you don’t hear from me or see me around, just know I’ve been sent to join my ancestors.
Me: nothing will happen to you. I guarantee that.
Emilia: ehh? For where my mama dey? A guy in my room without her consent? Nothing is going to save me.
Me: don’t worry. I’ll talk to her.
Emilia: and after talking to her?
Me: she will forgive us nah
Emilia: and after that?
Me: nothing more.
Emilia: after that is death. You don’t know my mum o.
I was glad that despite how stubborn the kids and youths of my time had gone, they are still parents who don’t take nonsense. And Emilia’s mum happened to be one of them. Some parents I know, are “I don’t care” kind of parents.
They have no time to look into the children lives, who they hang out with, what they wear or do.
Me: See let me give you a trick on how to escape mummy’s wahala.
Emilia: how?
Me: from now on, be at your guild. Slap can come at any time, from any angle. Be watchful for the next 3 days. Don’t make it too obvious, don’t let her know you are playing smart. Even if the slap comes when you are not expecting it, don’t try to hold it back…. receive it with all gladness.
Emilia: Ahhhh, what are you saying?
Me: trust me.
Emilia: I cannot trust this one o.
“Emmmmiiiillliaaaaa. You want me to come inside that room again abi?” her mum shouted from the kitchen.
Me: she knows someone is with you, we can’t hide. Let’s go.
She was still feeling reluctant to go meet her mum.
“Emilia, if I come inside that room eh. Maka chineke, m ga kofu gi ishi” (I swear to God, I’ll break your head)
Her mum shouted again.
“Mummy, I’m coming” she replied her.
Me: see eh… let’s just be crawling and be going. That would make her believe we are sorry for not telling her.
The trick reminds me of when I was about 14 years old. I remembered I did something really bad at home and I was expecting the punishment. I know I broke a glass plate and my mum had always warned me not to use her glass plate to eat because I was too careless. That day, she was in her room reading the bible when I went to the kitchen to take my food. She already dished out the food for me in another plate but the stubborn spirit in me whispered “won’t you use that fancy glass plate? You know it makes your food look more mature and also makes it taste better”
I agreed with the spirit. I took the same plate she had warned me not to use again. I turned my food from the plate she used into the new fancy glass plate. We had about 5 of those plates before but I broke 2 already.
Because of that, I stayed in the kitchen to eat my food. I was almost done with my food when I heard her footsteps.
“Derra, are you in the kitchen?” she said still coming to the kitchen.
I kept quiet…I thought she would turn back. I tried climbing the kitchen sink so I can hide the plate on the cabinet. I didn’t know there was something there already, so when I dropped the plate on it, the plate rolled down from there.
“kkkppppaaaarrrrr”
My mum rushed in immediately “Derra what have you done?
Me: Ahhhh Jesus! who did this?
“You broke another plate?”
Me: mummy it was a mistake.
I was just calculating an escape plan; I was waiting for her to come inside the kitchen a little further, so that I can rush out. She started looking everywhere in the kitchen… I bet she was looking for her almighty weapon. Even Thanos weapon cannot be compared to hers.
I noticed she sighted one in the sink, the moment she made one step, I was gone. Very smart! I ran to hide inside my wardrobe, hoping by night, everything should be settled.
She quietly entered my room, used a cloth to tie the handle of the wardrobe. There was nowhere out for me.
“See you soon” she said
Me: mummy please …. mummy please o. ahhhh
I stayed inside there till night when my dad came back. I imagined lot of creepy things….” what if I was in a coffin?” “What if there is a zombie behind me?”
The more I imagine the more I get scared. The stubborn spirit left me to be. Another silly spirit kept telling me “once your dad opens this wardrobe, just drop on the floor like you are dead”.
Good idea, right? It worked actually. They started fanning me to wake up. I could hear my mum “eeeeh Derra please wake up”
“You have been forgiven. Please wake up”
I almost smiled where I was. When I heard that, I began moving my fingers. Then my dad said “he’s not forgiven o. he broke another plate, I’ll break his neck”. Dads are always the wicked parent.
Emilia and I then crawled from her room to the kitchen….
Her mum: what are you two doing?
Me: Good morning ma. Ma, we are really sorry. It’s not that, we did anything o. I didn’t even sleep on her bed. I stayed away from her all through the night. Ma please, it’s not her fault. Put the blame on me ma. I’m ready to serve any punishment for her sake. Please ma, forgive her.
Her mum: Emilia, why didn’t you tell me about this?
Emilia: (stammering) I was scared you would say NO.
Her mum: yen yen yen yen yen yen yen.
Me: (smiled)
Her mum: oh you are smiling?
Me: No ma.
Emilia: why are you smiling?
Me: I’m sorry ma. It’s the way you said yen yen yen.
Her mum: how did I say it?
Me: you said yen yen yen yen yen yen yen. It should be yii yii yii yii yii yii, like my mum.
Emilia: seriously?
Me: I’m sorry.
Her mum: you this children.
Let’s just forget she called me a child and focus on the matter on ground. She finally smiled and asked us to stand up and mumu no more.
We were forgiven. She then asked Emilia to go prepared for their visit to grandma.
Me: Ma, your daughter is a very good girl. She’s a real blessing to you.
“You are right… I trust her so much”
Me: uhhmm. I’m still sorry for what we did.
“It’s okay”
Me: but ma, how did you know?
“I saw when she was sneaking out through the back door”
I joined them to take breakfast that morning before leaving the house. We all walked down to the road before going our separate ways.
I finally got home, took a very long shower in the bathroom before going to bed to sleep my previous night sleep. Regina had gone out to the market and Segun wasn’t around too.
I was in the bathroom for more than one hour; doing lots of wonders. unleashing the twerking spirit hidden me plus the Beyoncé in me.
I tried sleeping but sleep was not just coming. There was no power supply that day. I was so bored. When it was afternoon…I decided to just take a stroll. By that time, students were already coming back from school. The kind of girls I saw in uniform really surprised me. Most of them looked so big and sexy. Sometimes I wondered how their male teachers control themselves in class…especially mathematics teachers and principals. The way some of them sew their skirts is so seducing.
Still taking a stroll, I saw something I do to people when I was in school. And that was bullying other students. Though as I was growing, I began hating myself for ever bullying other students.
Bullying causes lot of damages to people, mentally, psychologically and even physically.
There were 4 students, same school trying to rob other students from a different school. When the boy tried resisting them, they bounced on him.
Another thing I hated so much about people of my generation is that, they don’t care about others. As long as they are not affected, they have no business with it. People saw what was going on but did like they didn’t see nothing.
So, I decided to go fight for the boy.
Me: Hey hey hey leave that boy
Bully 1: who is this one?
Me: are you all deaf? I said, leave the boy alone.
Bully3: else?
Me: don’t even try me.
Bully 1: you have 2 seconds to leave here now.
Me: I’m giving you 1 second to disappear, else you will regret your lives.
Bully 2: guys let’s go.
Bully 1: go where…. We go beat mumu comot for en body.
Me: really?
Bully 4 (leader): oboi, who goes you? Wither you nau.
Me: are you talking to me?
I got angry and rushed to drag the innocent boy from their midst.