TW// Death
QUEEN
“No matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
— Maya Angelou
“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.”
— John Green
I keep reading the quotes that King had recommended to me. I keep trying to let them sink in. But they don’t. Honestly, I’m not suicidal. I never was. I’m just... tired. Tired of everything. But maybe I am broken in ways I don’t understand. Maybe that’s why these words feel so foreign to me.
I’m fine, though. I tell myself that every day, even if part of me wonders what it would be like if I just didn’t have to feel any of this anymore. It’s not like I’m actively seeking an end. But... sometimes, I wonder if everything would be easier if I disappeared.
But I’m not suicidal, right? Just... lost.
But really I don’t need inspirational quotes since there is nothing wrong with me. If I am… can these quotes heal me? I don’t think so.
It was Saturday night, and as usual, Mom and Dad are caught up in their work at the company. They haven’t been home since yesterday, and they probably won’t be back for a week because of their busy schedule. And because of that my brothers can do anything they want since our parents are not here to monitor them. They’re up to their usual antics—parties, late-night hangouts, anything to escape the suffocating stillness that comes with our parents’ absence.
So boring.
I sigh, watching them. I just stare at them as they were busy admiring themselves in our huge mirror.
“You should come with us, Queen,” King says, his voice carrying a tone of insistence as he sprays his favorite perfume, filling the room with a sickly-sweet scent. 
“No,” I reply firmly, not even standing up. I know where they’re headed. Another bar, another night of reckless behavior, another wasted night for them. I’ve warned them time and again about how dangerous it is, but they never listen.
“You’re coming, right?” King pushes again, but I just shake my head, already bored by their constant pestering.
“Ace, why are you going? Your girlfriend won’t like this,” I comment. He just pouted and I rolled my eyes.
“She’s fine with it, she let me.” Ace says, and I raised my eyebrows at him but his eyes avoid mine, and I know that he’s lying.
I roll my eyes. “Really? She’s fine with it? You’re not lying to me?”
He shrugs. “Mm, I swear. Rest assured, Queen.”
“I told you two before, going to the bar is a bad idea. Our parents will find out and cut your allowances for sure.” I try to scare them, but they just laugh it off like I’m not serious.
“But it's boring here, Queen,” Ace protests, flashing a wide grin. “And you’re bored too. Come on. It’s just for tonight.”
I shake my head. “What should I do there? I don’t need to drink myself into oblivion just to have fun. No. I won’t come.” I hate crowded places too. I might saw some familiar face too.
"Why not? I love the drinks there." King said and he was already done. He then get the keys and smile at me. “Just for tonight, come on. We don't want you to be alone here.” King says, his voice softening as he gives me that look—the one I can never resist. He holds out his hand, his eyes pleading.
I sigh. "No. I'm fine by myself. No need to worry." I sighed and shake my head. He then held my hand and look at me again with those puppy eyes. “Stop it, that won’t work on me.”
“Queen…”
"Freaking hell..."
The moment we step into the bar, the bass hits me like a wave. The flashing lights, the heat, the noise—it’s all too much. I already regret coming. King’s friends are already there, waiting for him, and they greet us loudly. Drinks are passed around, and I try to stay in the corner, away from the chaos.
I look around and my face crumpled.
I know I said that I won't come, but I did... I'm here in this crowded bar with my brothers, nice.
"Hey King, it's good to see you again." King looked at me then back at his friends.
"Happy birthday!" King greeted his friend and I watch how they both do fist bump.
"Thank you, bro."
But even here, the air feels thick with tension. I watch as King interacts with his friends, laughing and joking, while I feel like an outsider. One of them approaches me with a broad grin.
“Who’s this beautiful lady?” he asks. "Hi."
“Hi,” I reply, smiling awkwardly. He offers his hand, but before I can shake it, Ace steps in between us.
“She’s not available, dude, not my sister” Ace says and playful shove him. The man looks at me in surprise.
"Really?"
"Yes, she's my sister, so fuck off." Ace adds. The guy shrugs, walking away.
"You never told us you had a sister, King," one of his friends says. King just shrugs it off, looking at me with a teasing smile.
“I know someone’s gonna hit on her. But trust me, none of you stand a chance. My sister has high standards in men, of course, she deserves better." King said proudly and they all laughed.
I roll my eyes, a little embarrassed, and push past them. They continue to laugh, and sighed trying to ignore them.
We head upstairs to the VIP room, and I try to focus but I was keep being distracted by the noise outside, on the flashing lights.
"Is it okay to bring me there? Won't your friends get mad?"
"Why would they when we're all paying for the room?"
"Ahh. I see." I said and then we meet three girls on our way to the room, I look at King and at the girl beside him.
Are they planning to invite them?
When we do arrive, King immediately handed me the orange juice, and I look at the booze on the table. Are they planning to kill themselves tonight?
Vodka, tequila, rum, brandy, whiskey... Macallan 1926... Dalmore. I was reading the names of liquors there when I heard them asking my brother.
I turn to look at the group, noticing the heavy tension in the air. People are talking over each other, arguing in low voices, and suddenly...
"We heard that you and Allison did already ended your relationship, since when?" I look at them and raised my eyebrows, I thought King's girlfriend is Vernice, so who is this Allison girl?
Before I can ask, one of King’s friends drops another bomb.
“So, we heard you and Allison broke up, huh?”
King shrugs nonchalantly. “We didn’t date, man. She’s just a friend.”
“That’s what she told us too. She is the one who ended her relationship with you because you do keep seeing girls. She said you were a two-timer.”
I smirk and shake my head, so who is the one who tells the truth?
I look at Ace and he was awkwardly sitting beside a girl and kept on looking at his phone ignoring the girl.
"Ace."
"Hmm?"
"You said you need to call our cousin." I smiled at him at first, he was confused then he nods.
"You're right, Haha. Thank you for reminding me, excuse me..." the girl beside him looks disappointed and for a second, I saw it she glared at me and I raised my eyebrows on her. Shs rolled her eyes at me and I laugh it off, when suddenly I felt someone near me. I looked at King's best friend.
"Hi." I look at Mr. I don't know his name, his eyes landed on my hands that were holding a Hamilton Saint Lucia Pot Still. I carefully place it again on the table and he giggled. "My name is Julius."
"Ah, okay."
"HA-HA-HA, you won't tell me your name?" Ah, I didn't think it was needed.
"Queen."
"Haha, for real?" I nodded and took a sip of my juice.
"Yeah. Do I look like I'm lying to you?" He smiled widely and shake his head.
"No but… King, Queen and Ace. It’s a nice name,”
“Thank you.” I boredly said and didn't say anything after that.
“Are you really a silent person? Or perhaps mad at me and just want me to leave you alone."
"A silent person... I just really don’t talk too much." he nodded and we didn't say a word just watch them talking as they enjoy drinking. Then he said his goodbye and leave the room.
I tried the tequila secretly and King didn't even notice it. We had been there in the room for almost an hour and a half, and Ace still hadn't returned. It had been fifteen minutes already.
When some of them decided to go down to dance, but we stayed in the room. I poured myself another glass of tequila, and then I suddenly felt dizzy.
Damn it, I won't have another drink. But I like this one...
“King,” I call, my voice a little slurred. He turns to me, already drunk, his face flushed. “I’ll just go to the restroom and try to find Ace,” I say, but King insists on coming with me.
“No, let me go with you,” he says. “What if someone harasses you?”
I shake my head. “I can handle myself, I can fight back. Just let me go by myself.”
He sighs, not convinced. “Alright, but be quick. I’ll come get you if you’re not back soon.”
"Hmm."
I step out into the hall, the noise and lights are overwhelming me. My head spins as I make my way to the restroom, covering my ears to block out the chaos. The dancefloor below is a blur, the lights flickering like they’re about to swallow me whole.
Fuck. I think I'm drunk.
Inside the restroom, I finally take a moment to breathe.
"Hmm... Hmm, hmm..." I was ready to flush it when I heard a loud bang outside. But then I hear it—a loud crash, followed by shouting.
“Remember this, Anya. He’s not yours!”
“What are you talking about, you slut!?”
“Fuck you!”
"Congrats Fuck you too, you bitch!" I cover my ears when they bombarded each other with curses. I just wait for them to stop then they started to hurt each other. I flinched when I heard another loud bang looks like someone was already knocked out.
I waited in the silence. I wait until their friends found them and finally leave. I sighed and finally get out there. I look at myself in the mirror and slightly punch it. 
I hate you...
As I walked out, my heart raced when Ace suddenly appeared.
“Ace!” I gasp, my heart racing. “You scared me.” " I massage my chest and I was shocked when tears suddenly came down. His face was a mess and he keeps murmuring sonething. "What happened?" he shakes his head multiple timed and with trembling lips, he uttered the words.
Tears spill down my cheeks before I even realize it. His face is a mess, and his lips tremble as he whispers, barely audible.
“She’s gone, Queen. Aphrodite... she—she committed suicide.”
My heart stops. 
“No...”
—IAmRoseee