Back in the wine cellar, Zoe sat and looked at the revenge list, noting that every name had been crossed out and all targets had been dealt with. He put down his pen and stood up, addressing Jill.
“It’s over now. It’s time for us to part ways. Don’t follow me anymore.”
As Zoe went around Jill and headed for the door, he heard the ghost’s voice cut in, “Not yet. It’s not over because there’s still one person left.”
Zoe hesitated, knowing well who Jill was referring to. But he couldn’t and didn’t want to seek revenge on Neil. For those who deliberately harmed him, Zoe could mercilessly kill without a second thought; after all, those people were not innocent. So, he felt no sympathy or psychological burden when exacting revenge. However, for Neil, Zoe couldn’t bring himself to be ruthless.
Beyond his feelings for Neil, Zoe had his own sense of right and wrong, as his conscience had not yet been completely twisted.
“That was an accident. He didn’t intentionally cause harm or want to kill anyone.”
Jill persisted, “But Zoe, he indirectly caused the death of your parents. You can’t just forgive him like that.”
“I’m not forgiving him because I’m a murderer. I have no right to forgive anyone.”
Zoe muttered, “It was an unfortunate accident. At the time of the incident, he was only sixteen…”
“That’s just your excuse. You can’t act against him because you have feelings for him,” Jill said, moving closer to Zoe. “If you can’t do it, then let me help you.”
“Be quiet.” Zoe glared at Jill and shouted, “Don’t touch him. If you dare…”
Jill trembled at the intensity in Zoe’s voice. The tone was something Jill couldn’t have imagined coming from Zoe.
Zoe extended his hand towards Jill, each finger tightening slowly. Seeing this, Jill thought of her own neck and quickly shook her head, forcing a smile.
“I was just joking.”
With that, Zoe left the bar. As he walked, he felt someone trailing him. Zoe quickened his pace and hid in a dark alley. In the dim light of the alley, he realized that the person following him was Neil. Although Neil wore a cap that made it hard to see his face, Zoe was too familiar with his figure. Even without seeing his face, Zoe knew it was Neil.
Zoe remained hidden in the shadows, silently watching Neil, who stopped and looked around. Under the bright streetlights, Neil’s tall figure in black became more distinct. Seeing someone so close yet so distant, Zoe’s heart ached, making his breath feel shallow. It was as if he wanted to end everything, even his own life.
When Neil turned his head in Zoe’s direction, Zoe quickly retreated further into the darkness, covering his mouth with his hand. Tears streamed down his cheeks due to his panic.
Neil waited for a while, searching around but not finding Zoe. He then walked away. Only when Neil had gone far did Zoe step out from the shadows. Not seeing the person he longed for every night, Zoe forced a bitter smile and murmured to himself.
“It’s over, Neil. Forget me. It’s better for you.”
Wandering through the city alone without a destination or a clue where to go, Zoe gazed up at the bright moonlight. Through his tear-filled eyes, the moon’s silver light seemed to reflect Neil’s image, now only a memory.
Lost in his thoughts, Zoe touched something cold against his chest. He remembered that Neil had taken off a necklace and given it to him before leaving. Zoe sat down on a bench by the road, hesitated for a long time before removing the necklace, and looked at it. He smiled softly.
“I need to return this to him, and then I’ll leave this city and never come back.”
Thinking this, Zoe stood up and went back to where he last saw Neil, but he was nowhere to be found. Assuming Neil had gone home, Zoe aimlessly walked along the familiar path to Neil’s house.
By now, it was late, and street vendors were packing up and heading home. Zoe wove through the pedestrian traffic and noticed an elderly woman squatting by the street corner selling silk flowers. The old woman, with disheveled hair and a tattered appearance, sat hunched in a corner. In front of her was a piece of worn gray cloth spread out with a few delicate and beautiful silk flowers scattered across it.
Zoe approached, crouched down, and picked up a small, dark red silk flower. It felt surprisingly soft and real, almost like a genuine flower just picked from the branch.
The sensation was odd. Zoe looked at the elderly woman, who, despite her ragged appearance, had crafted the flowers from high-quality materials, showing great craftsmanship.
“How much for this silk flower?” Zoe asked, holding the flower up to the old woman.
Seeing someone interested in buying, the old woman looked up, revealing a kindly face, her eyes like clouds as she smiled at Zoe. Her voice was frail, “The price depends on the size of the flower, young man. If you like it, you can take one. I’ll give it to you for free.”
Zoe shook his head, “It can’t be like that. I see you…”
Halfway through his sentence, Zoe stopped. He didn’t want the old woman to misunderstand that he was pitying her. But the old woman seemed to understand his thoughts and only smiled kindly.
“Though I am poor, giving away one flower won’t feed me for life. What matters is selling them to those who appreciate beauty and giving them to those who truly cherish it. Just like people, when they value something, they will treasure and protect it, while those who buy things just for their outer beauty will soon grow tired of them and discard them.”
“But how can you know who truly cherishes something and who just buys it for its beauty?”
“It’s in the eyes,” the old woman smiled gently, her voice calm. “If someone loves and cares only for beauty, they’ll only look at the flowers and decide whether to buy them or not. But you, the first thing you looked at wasn’t the flowers but the old woman.”
The old woman continued, “You want to buy it not because it’s beautiful, but because you want to help this poor old woman. You will surely cherish it because it’s made by a poor old woman with worn clothes, who created such beautiful flowers, so you feel the need to treasure it.”
Zoe smiled, “Do you really think I’m that kind of person? I’m… not as good as you think.”
Zoe tightened his grip on the silk flower, bowing his head, feeling a pang of self-loathing. He saw himself as a strange, different being in this world, using his cruel power to take lives. He felt he should not even exist.
The old woman glanced at the silk flower in Zoe’s hand and spoke softly, “Good or bad is not something you can judge accurately yourself. What’s important is whether you’ve lived in the way you want. Do you feel happy living the way you choose? And have you ever hoped to bring happiness to someone you love?”
The old woman’s eyes sparkled as she looked at Zoe, “You still have the opportunity to choose. What matters is whether you want to.”
Zoe looked silently at the flower in his hand. Indeed, he had never lived according to his own desires. He had never thought of killing someone, even if they abused or insulted him. He had never felt happiness from it, only disgust and fear of himself. Since meeting Neil, he had hoped for happiness, and more importantly, to bring happiness to him.
But he failed. It was all due to his choices, not anyone else’s or fate’s. If he had thought more carefully and calmly, letting go of the past and accepting Neil, his hands would not be stained with blood, and he might now be beside Neil, watching movies, sharing a bed, and waking up together in the morning.
What seemed so simple was pushed away by hatred, so far that now, reaching out to grasp it again was too late.
Zoe sighed and shook his head, “I’ve missed many things. I don’t think I can ever get them back. I don’t deserve to receive this flower from you.”
He placed the flower back and stood up, taking one last look at the old woman. Although he felt strange about her words, he couldn’t pinpoint what was peculiar. He turned to leave, but the old woman’s voice stopped him.
“Take it and give it to the one you cherish the most.”
Zoe hesitated, looking back at the old woman. Her gaze seemed to hold countless secrets, leaving him puzzled. But after all, it was just a flower, perhaps simply the old woman’s kindness seeing that he was troubled.
Zoe thanked the old woman and picked a flower. After he left, the old woman watched him for a moment, then slowly stood up, wrapped the remaining flowers, and disappeared into the darkness of the alley.