Stepping out of the car, Zoe’s gaze wandered around, taking in the house that seemed both strange and familiar. The white-painted walls and the beautiful transparent windows carried a homely scent. A Christmas wreath, long withered, hung on the door. Everything looked familiar, yet he couldn’t quite remember.
“This feels so familiar…” Zoe muttered to himself, “Have I lived here before?”
He reached out to touch the dried wreath and smiled to himself.
“Is this a dream? Or… could it be from dreams of the past?” Zoe felt confused, unable to distinguish between reality and memory.
“Come inside,” Neil said naturally, taking Zoe’s hand. Zoe didn’t pull away; he just looked at Neil and allowed him to lead him into the house. Neil gave him a tour, including his bedroom.
Since moving back home with Neil, Zoe’s personality had changed significantly. He was no longer the quiet and reserved person he used to be; he had become more lively and cheerful. He often stared at Neil with a smile, as if calculating something, though he didn’t know why he felt such an unusual sense of closeness to him. Despite not recalling anything about Neil, he felt like a brother.
Having grown up in an orphanage, Zoe had always been introverted and afraid of being abandoned. The care and concern Neil showed him, even though Zoe couldn’t remember, made him genuinely grateful. The fact that Neil stayed by his side and took care of him without any familial ties was something Zoe deeply appreciated.
It had been over a month since Zoe returned home. During this time, Neil hadn’t shared much about their past, not wanting Zoe to relive painful memories, even though those memories were tied to him. Neil decided to stay by Zoe’s side, regardless of whether Zoe remembered him.
As Zoe’s health improved, Neil decided to enroll him in school again. Over the past month, Zoe had grown a bit taller, and his once gaunt face had filled out. His pleasant smile, innocent eyes, optimistic thoughts, and familiar voice often left Neil flustered during their conversations.
Like today, after Zoe came back from school, Neil was in the kitchen preparing dinner. He wanted their lives to resemble a family more closely, so he had come home early to cook for Zoe. In the kitchen, he was struggling with the pots and pans, feeling quite out of his element. Suddenly, a pair of arms gently wrapped around his waist, and Neil felt the cool temperature of the person who had just come in from outside.
“…!” Neil stood frozen in surprise.
To his astonishment, the person behind him buried their face in his neck and sniffed gently. “It smells burnt,” Zoe murmured softly in Neil’s ear.
Neil snapped back to reality, flustered. “Oh… I’m sorry… I wanted to cook but I don’t know how.”
Throughout, Zoe had been observing Neil’s flustered and awkward demeanor. Neil’s clumsy attempts at cooking were often met with Zoe’s affectionate smiles. Zoe didn’t know why, but he always wanted to be close to Neil and witness his endearing awkwardness.
Standing behind Neil, Zoe’s lips curved into a gentle smile as he released his embrace.
“I’ll cook,” Zoe said, rolling up his sleeves and putting on an apron.
Neil, feeling a bit reluctant to lose the warm embrace, asked, “Can you cook?”
“Not sure, but I think I’ve cooked before,” Zoe replied with a smile.
“Do you remember anything?” Neil asked, worried. He didn’t want Zoe to recall anything that might make him resentful and leave again.
Zoe shook his head. “I still don’t remember, but I have a feeling I know how to cook a few dishes.”
He smiled at Neil. “Let me give it a try.”
“Well… I’ll leave it to you then. Do you need any help?”
“No, just stay by my side.”
Zoe’s cuteness made Neil unable to resist gently patting his head. That simple gesture made Zoe’s heart race, as if something extraordinary was happening. Although Neil had often patted his head recently, the nervous feeling intensified each time, causing Zoe’s heartbeat to accelerate.
After a challenging evening, they finally prepared a few simple dishes and set the table. They enjoyed a pleasant meal together and watched TV. They sat on the sofa in the living room, where the TV program had ended, replaced by a romantic psychological film. As they watched, Neil felt Zoe inching closer to him. Zoe, sitting beside him, slowly moved closer and then lay his head on Neil’s lap.
Neil was surprised but remained still, afraid to move and disturb Zoe.
“You feel like my brother…” Zoe said softly, resting his head on Neil’s lap. “Even though you’ve said we’re not siblings, sometimes I’ve mistaken your concern and care, your cooking for me, and your head pats… It feels so warm and familial. I really want us to stay like this.”
Neil stayed silent, listening to Zoe’s gentle voice.
“Neil, can you pat my head like before?”
Zoe’s voice was tender and pleading, like a younger sibling seeking comfort from an older brother. Neil felt that Zoe’s request was his biggest wish, yet he didn’t want to grant it.
Neil smiled ruefully. “Okay.”
His voice was choked, struggling to keep his feelings at bay. How could he be a brother to Zoe when his heart was filled with Zoe’s image?
He took a deep breath and gently complied with Zoe’s request, running his fingers through Zoe’s soft black hair. Zoe closed his eyes to savor the warmth of Neil’s touch.
Zoe lay there for a while before opening his eyes and looking at Neil. “I can let go of the painful memories and look forward to a brighter future, but you must always be by my side.”
“Mm,” Neil replied softly, his gaze tinged with sadness. His gentle hand stopped stroking Zoe’s head. He feared that if Zoe remembered everything, he might leave him.
“I will always be with you. I promise.”
Zoe smiled contentedly, resting his face against Neil’s body and closing his eyes. Neil sat silently, his mind blank, grappling with his emotions.
What are you to me, Zoe? The love I have for you is not a newly kindled flame but a fire that has burned fiercely for a long time. It has always existed deep within my heart, buried and suppressed, waiting for the day it could ignite. Yet, you seem like an innocent child, a kid who doesn’t want to grow up and stays by my side, dragging me into a bottomless abyss. You are like a careless breeze, easily drifting in and out, making it impossible for me to grasp, pulling me into your world and leaving me lost, while you remain blissfully unaware.
It seems that loving someone in silence, without revealing it, is like planting a forbidden seed that grows and takes root in the silence, becoming impossible to uproot once deeply embedded.
—---------
Zoe sat alone in the quiet of his room, the shadows stretching across the walls as the sun dipped below the horizon. The absence of Jill, the spirit who had haunted him for so long, left an almost surreal emptiness behind. It felt like a heavy fog had lifted, revealing a landscape he hadn’t seen in years.
He closed his eyes and let out a deep, slow breath. The silence that now surrounded him was a strange comfort, a stark contrast to the constant whispers and cold shivers that had plagued him. For the first time in what felt like forever, Zoe felt a profound sense of relief. The oppressive weight that had once settled on his shoulders was gone, and he could finally breathe without feeling the cold, malevolent presence of Jill.
Memories of Jill flashed through his mind—vivid and unsettling, like a film reel stuck on a loop. But now, those memories were fading, becoming less distinct with each passing moment. He could feel a newfound lightness in his chest, as if a burden had been lifted, allowing him to move forward without the constant shadow of fear and unease.
As he looked around his room, Zoe noticed the small changes he had made recently—a few personal touches here and there, signs of a life that was slowly moving towards normalcy. He could finally enjoy these simple things without the dark influence that had clouded his perceptions. The corners of his mouth lifted into a soft smile, a reflection of the peace he was beginning to feel. It was a smile that spoke of hope, of a future unburdened by the haunting past.
Zoe took a moment to simply sit in that silence, savoring the absence of Jill's ghostly presence. The quiet was soothing, a gentle reminder that he was no longer trapped in the cycle of fear and torment. It was an invitation to embrace the present, to look forward to each new day with a sense of freedom he hadn’t experienced in a long time.
For the first time, Zoe felt a true sense of liberation. He was free to explore his own thoughts and emotions without the constant interference of Jill. It was a freedom that felt both exhilarating and comforting, a chance to rebuild and redefine his sense of self without the haunting whispers of the past.
As he gazed out of the window at the twilight sky, Zoe felt a deep sense of gratitude.
He was finally free to embrace the life he wanted, unshackled from the chains of fear and despair. And with that freedom came the promise of a brighter, more hopeful future—one that he was ready to face with renewed strength and optimism.