SOREN
The music in my living room was blasting. Alexa was supposed to come home today, but I didn't let her; Marshall couldn't see her. I couldn't let them meet. I didn't care how much the child missed her father. I wouldn't allow it. My daughter is mine. And if Marshall were to come after me, it would definitely be for my daughter.
"You stupid fuck," I muttered to myself, shaking my head as I leaned back on the sofa. Why did I trust him so much? From the start, I knew he was the one who ruined my property so I would go to him - and he succeeded. Maybe he has a fetish for destroying property because that's also what I heard he planned to do. I knew it meant nothing to Dad, it was a small thing, but...
Damn it, what else can I do? It's already happened. We fucked, and he didn't even bother to use a condom, which I know he did on purpose.
I'm so stupid. I'm so fucking stupid. What if I get pregnant? Even if it happened just once, I know it's possible. Remember? It only took one try back then, and Alexa was conceived. I was a virgin then, so I shouldn't have gotten pregnant, but I still did. And now, when I'm fertile? Haha. Fuck me, damn it.
But the thing is... Do I need to tell my brothers what I heard?
No. I think not yet. Not now. They need to know, but not now.
But damn, my parents are already at peace, so what's Marshall's problem? Why do they want to "destroy" our business branches in England? If they plan to establish there, then do it. Why drag us into it? Hello? My brothers are chill as fuck. They won't act unless provoked. They're crazy, but they're not like Marshall.
Ah. I don't know. This is one of the million reasons why I fucking hate business.
I kicked the table in front of me, making it move violently away. I'm angry. So much. But I don't have the energy to lash out now. I want to do something, but my body isn't cooperating. My mind is a mess, and I don't know how to react.
I'm really stupid. I graduated with flying colors, so how did I get tricked this easily? Ah, right. Because he's good at it. He said he loved me, but is that true? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Soren. But he doesn't love you.
And what? He'll dump me after? How dare he? What did I ever do to him? If he hadn't interfered, Mildred and I would still be together. I could take care of her sister, fuck it. But he used both of us!
And now, he's slowly gaining my love and trust. I even slept with him, damn it. I don't call it 'making love' anyway. We fucked. That's it, we fucked. I fucked him, and he did the same.
I sighed. I took my phone and dialed my brother Caleb's number. It didn't take long for him to answer the call.
"For Alexa, please," I said softly.
[Okay, okay. Wait -Alexa, your mom is calling!- ]
I heard Alexa shout at Caleb, my daughter seemed annoyed too.
Soon, I heard Alexa's voice.
[Mama?]
I smiled bitterly, "Hi, how are you?"
But I should also thank Marshall. I wouldn't have my daughter now if it weren't for him.
[I'm fine, Mama. But Uncle Caleb is so annoying! He keeps introducing his friends to me! You know, cockroaches!]
I chuckled softly, "Stay there, okay? We're making baby George with your dad."
Yeah, right.
[Really?]
"Yes..."
[Are you alright, 'Ma?]
I smiled, "Of course I am. I just wanted to check if you haven't beaten up your uncle yet."
The door knob turned, making me pause.
I expected it to be Marshall who opened the door, and yes, it was him. He hadn't seen me yet, but I was glaring at him from where I sat.
"I'll call you back, okay?" I didn't wait for Alexa to respond. I quickly ended the call and hid my phone.
I stared at him - the father of my child.
When his eyes landed on me, he paused for a moment.
"What are you doing there?"
Waiting for you, I'm just planning to poison your food, asshole.
"Nothing. Just thinking."
He approached me, and I still didn't take my eyes off him. Seriously, he's so different now compared to earlier when he was with his siblings. He literally looked like a bad guy back there, but now...
I bowed my head. My short hair fell to the sides of my face. I'm annoyed. I wanted to slap him, but I didn't have the strength now. I just... I feel bad for myself.
In my entire life, this is the first time I've felt this sorry for myself.
"I think I'm pregnant..." I said softly.
He paused. He was about to sit beside me when he straightened up again. But then he quickly sat in front of me, looking up at me with his hands resting on my thighs.
I remained bowed.
I'm angry, but not like before when I would lash out when I'm angry. I'm weak now. I just want to sit here and not move.
I feel so heavy, damn it. If I could get drunk, I would, but what if I'm pregnant again?
I suddenly sobbed.
Ah, damn it.
"Sorry, I really become a crybaby when I'm pregnant. I was like this with Alexa too," I lied.
He was about to wipe my tears, but I swatted his hand away, "I'm fine."
I don't want him to touch me. He has no right.
He hugged my waist. He leaned on my thighs and rested his head there. His eyes were closed, and he looked tired. I wanted to push him away, but he would definitely wonder why.
"Don't cry, okay? I'm here."
Yeah, I know. You're here. You're fucking here.
"Nobody took care of me," I said softly, "I was all alone when Alexa was in my womb," I told him quietly.
I felt bad. But I didn't have the energy to scream now; I'm angry, but I'll keep it to myself for now.
"No one took care of me. When I craved something in the middle of the night, I bought it myself because, obviously, I was all alone."
It's true. Even during storms, I would go out to buy the food I craved when I was pregnant with Alexa. Fortunately, I met Elias back then; he helped me with everything.
Why didn't I end up with Elias if I had to end up with a man? Elias is way better than this manipulator.
Yeah, he's a manipulator. A fucking control freak!
He opened his eyes but still didn't move from his position.
"Will you take care of me?" I asked softly, my voice almost inaudible, "Will you take care of me if I'm pregnant? I'm tired, dude. I just want to lay here and do nothing."
So, this is the feeling of betrayal, huh. I like women, but I've never thought of taking advantage. I didn't think Marshall was like this.
Marshall immediately stood up and sat beside me. He hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Of course. I'll take care of you."
Liar.
I looked at him and met his eyes, "Then marry me," I said firmly, "I'm tired of being alone all the fucking time, Marshall. I want a peaceful life; can you give that to me?"
I didn't let him see the bitterness in my every word. I fucking hate him.
He wants to marry me? Fine, I'll give him what he wants. I don't care if he'll dump me after this, I just want this to be over. Because I know he won't stop until he gets what he wants. So when he gets his way, Alexa and I will be at peace again.
He gave me a small smile, "I can give that to you, Soren."
Of course, you can, asshole.
I looked away from his face. I couldn't look at him for long. I just... I can't look into those eyes.
"Marry me immediately." Then you can take advantage of my family.
"I want a quick wedding. Nothing too fancy. I want only a few people to attend."
I faced him again, "And I'll pay for it."
He frowned, "Why you?"
I smiled at him, "You're gay, remember? You're the woman here."
He nodded and laughed a little.
How I wish that laugh was genuine.
I reached for his cheek and stroked his skin.
"Thank you for giving Alexa to me," I said softly.
Fuck him.
******