Tonight I will visit her. I want to stare at her face, be close to her and show her how sorry I was for causing her too much pain. I will let her know that I miss her each passing day, that she is so close and yet so far. I will hug her and make her feel that I still love her, even only in her dreams. I will kiss her pain away even for a while and make her feel loved by me even for one night. I went to her room and saw her sleeping in her nightdress. She is so beautiful. She is like a princess sleeping for a thousand years and waiting for her prince to kiss her. Her cherry lips are tempting me. Her body is calling me. I sat on her bed beside her and whispered,
“Hello, my majesty” I saw her smile with her eyes closed. She hugged her pillow and she is dreaming that it was me.
“I am here now, my majesty,” I said and touched her face. She opened her eyes and looked at me. She blinks her eyes because she can’t believe seeing me sitting beside her bed, staring at her. I saw the excitement in her eyes because she knew that I would come back and steal the night, even for a while. I am like, every time I am with her. I am stealing her heart, but that’s alright because she does the same. She silently stared at me. Maybe she thinks if I am real or just in her dream.
“How are you?” I asked and touched the softness of her face. Her gentleness makes me see the other side of life and the goodness of it.
“I know you will come back,” She said. Her sweet voice is a piece of music to my ear straight to my senses that energizes me, and her smile is like an electric shock to my heart that makes it beat a hundred times.
“Oh, wait” She looked around and looked at me again and said, “I hope I am not dreaming.” I smile at her because it doesn’t matter. I am in her dreams, and I am controlling them.
She stood up while staring at me. She can’t take her eyes off me, and I feel like I am hypnotizing her. She started to kiss me, and I kissed her back. The indescribable feeling that I am feeling right now is incomparable every time our lips are touched I feel the fire that is burning inside. I looked at her in her nightdress. nightdress, and I can see her breasts. Each time we get closer, I can feel its softness that makes me aroused, but I need to fight it because I respect her, and it is not the right thing to do. It can wait, and I know the future that awaits us will be in favor of our love and when that time comes. I promise she will bore my child, and I will give her everything—especially my never-ending love for her. I looked at her, trying not to kiss her again because I didn’t want to provide expectations for her. I just want to be with her. I love her, but everything needs to wait, and that is the saddest part of it.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, “Don't you love me?” She wondered again while looking into my eyes. My eyes turned all black, and she wasn’t scared because she accepted me for who I was, and she didn’t care as long as we were together.
“I love you so much”, I answered, and I said the only words.
I hold her hand and spread my wings. I am ready to fly again with her, but she had me close and hugged me tight, shook her head, looked at me, and said, “No.” I looked at her and wondered because I wanted to fly with her again, but she refused.
“I just want to stay here with you,” She said.
“I want to spend this night only with you,” She added. I am speechless. I think she is testing me. I want to fly with her to stay away from the temptation, but here she is, standing in front of me while staring at me with her nightdress and her goodnight look that makes everything sexy.
“Please,” She begged.
“Stay with me, and don’t ever leave me,” She added. I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to spoil the night.
“I will come back for you” Is the only word I said because I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know how to tell her. I am afraid that she might not understand.
“Are you going to leave me again?” She asked. I hugged her to answer her question because I didn’t want to answer it. I am afraid that she will find somebody else one day because she is tired of waiting for me.
“I will always be here for you.”
“So please stay?” She begged again while I was hugging her.
“I love you,” She said, and her tears were almost falling in her eyes because she was scared that I would leave her again.
“Why are you always leaving me? what is wrong?” She asked me and made me look at her. I tried to look away, but she made me look back at her.
“Why, please tell me?”
I looked at her and in her eyes. I saw her eagerness to know about the real me; she knows that what I am showing here is just a half of me, and I am surprised to see that she is ready to know everything about me. I tried to control her dream, but it didn't work because she was the one who was controlling me. Amazing!
“Isaac,” She said, calling my attention while I was thinking about what to say to her.
“I will never let you go unless you tell me,” She said, and she held me tight just to show that she would not let me go. I pulled her close to me and hugged her tight. I spread my wings and fly. I showed her the reason why.
I saw her eyes open wide when she saw all the lost souls waiting for me. I showed her the fading barrier, explained everything to her, and told her about my mission, and it was amazing because she was not surprised or scared, or maybe she thought that this was all just a dream. I know that she doesn’t want to wake up because she doesn’t want this night to end. She doesn’t want another day without me. She didn’t know that I was just here, watching her, silently, secretly from afar.
“I love you for who you are and what you are,” She said after I showed her everything.
“If death is the only way for me to be forever with you. I would gladly accept it, just don’t leave me, my angel.”
My heartbeat was fast. I can’t believe what she said. She is willing to die just to be with me forever. That is how much she loves me. That brings a smile to my face even though I tried not to show her. She didn’t know how much she made me feel loved, and I assured her that I would do the same, just wait for me.
“Can you wait for me?” I asked her. She smiled and answered, “ I am already doing that '' I smiled back at her. Maybe she didn’t know how much I was in pain every time I heard her voice, seeing her, but I couldn’t be with her. I might look okay right now, but deep inside, I am dying, each passing day, that I am not with her because she is the air that I breathe, and my world is empty without her, but this all will pass someday. I believe we'll be together, and when that someday comes, it will be unbreakable. We went back to her room after I showed her everything. It was nothing to her because she accepted me with all her heart and I am so lucky.
“I will come back for you,” I told her.
“I know that,” She said
“Are you not scared of me?” I asked
“I am so in love with you”, She answered and kissed me again. I tried to refuse her kiss, but it is like a poison that every time her lips touch mine, it gets on my nerves, bringing me an electric feeling that makes me want more.
“You didn’t know how it hurts me every time I am not with you,” I told her
“So don’t go… I don’t want to go back to sleep… I don’t want this night to end because I am scared…—” Then she paused and looked at me for a moment and then turned her back to me and faced the window.
“I am scared that tomorrow when I wake up, you are still not here. Without you is a nightmare and to be with you is my dream…that I hope it would come true,” She continued, and I went close to her and snapped my finger.
I turned her room into a romantic beach where we could hear the waves, the sound of the popping of the burning woods, and feel the heat of the bonfire that warms our cold bodies. I touched her arms. My hands are gently gliding in her soft skin, and my breath is on her neck, making her feel warmer. I saw her eyes close while feeling my breath into her. I know she wanted to make love, but I can’t give it to her now. I could feel her moaning, and I heard her whispering, “Make love with me”, with her closed eyes.
“Make love with me tonight” Her voice echoed in me, which made me freeze and out of my mind.
She stared at my eyes and started to kiss me. I can’t refuse her kiss because it is like hypnotizing me. Her soft lips and gentle kiss make me forget about everything. She kisses me on my neck and gives me heavy breathing. I bite my lips because I know this is not the right time, but I don’t want her to stop. I can’t dare to make her stop. I can feel her tongue gliding to my chest. I watched her tongue play on my body and when she felt that hardness of my penis. She tried to put it inside her mouth, and I stopped her by snapping my fingers to make fireworks. Fabulous fireworks color the dark skies and divert her attention. I know I want it too, but I need to wait, and she needs to wait. I snap for music to play. The radio suddenly appears beside us, playing mellow, romantic music. I want to dance with her while staring at her eyes before this night ends.
“Your eyes can see, what they can’t see
As the darkness end, I need to kiss you goodbye
I want to hold you close for one more time
And feel the warmth of my love and the longing of my heart
Because tomorrow will bring the new pains to our lonely hearts.”
She holds me closed while we are gently swaying to the music. I know she won't want to let me go, but I have to go. I looked into her eyes one more time because I didn’t know when I could look into her eyes again. I saw sadness in her, and I felt a longing inside her heart. She might not know, but I feel the same. Goodbye is the hardest part of all, but I don’t have a choice but to wait for the right time. She kissed me again with her closed eyes, and I felt her tears gently fall. I know it’s hard for us, but we have to make it for the true love that awaits us.
“When can I see you again?” She asked while crying. I touched her face, wiped her tears, and said, “Don’t cry.” She looked at me without a word.
“Just promise me you will wait for me,” I said. She turned her back to me and watched the bonfire.
“I am always waiting for you,” She said and looked at me again.
“But until when?” She asked, and I didn’t answer because I didn’t know how long. She holds my hand and puts it close to her heart.
“Please, stay”, She begged while staring at me. I looked away and said, “I am always…inside your heart” She smiled, and then she laughed.
“You are not going to come back, right?” She asked
“You and your wife have already reconciled, right?” I looked at her because I didn’t expect that she would ask that.
“No”, I answered. “You are the only woman that I desire,” I told her
“Would you think I am going to believe in your mission?” She asked and laughed again.
“You can do that while seeing me,” She said. “Right?” She asked in almost a whisper. I shook my head and said, “I am sorry.”
She held my hand and tried to meet my eyes, but I refused to meet hers. “I will not be a hindrance to your mission. Just stay, please.”
“I am sorry because everything is complicated for us. I know how hard it is to wait, and I am scared that one day when I come back for you…you will love someone else…I am scared that one day you will see me as a stranger… I am scared to live without you,” I said, but I don’t know if she believes in me because she is looking away, and she doesn't want to look at me.
“We are the two hearts who are ready to be one, and what makes it complicated? I don’t understand. I am not asking for your time because I know you have a mission to do; just see me every day, even for an hour. Be with me because I want to feel your embrace that I am thinking, your kiss that I am longing for, Your presence that I am craving. I am ready to sacrifice what I have in life because I know that I will live the best in life with you,” She said, and she cried again even though she wiped her tears and tried not to cry.
“Please”, She added, and she sat on the sand beside the bonfire and watched the waves. Hearing her cry watching her tears fall is breaking my heart. I walked close to her and tried to help her stand because she didn’t deserve to cry because of me, but she didn’t allow me.
“Just let me go if you will keep on leaving me”, She whispered. I looked at her with surprise because I didn’t expect to hear it from her. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. I can’t move while hoping for her to take it back. Her words make me freeze.
“, Please… please… please…” She cried, and she looked up at the sky.
“, Please… please… Please give him to me because I love him so much!” She screamed
“You don’t have an idea how much I love him… don’t you?” She asked while still looking up above. At the same time, I am here watching her with a surprise. She is talking to him now and asking him to give me to her. I heard thunder, and I saw lightning as I looked up. I didn’t snap. Maybe he answered through lightning and thunder.
“I WANT HIM! I LOVE HIM!” She screamed, and the rain poured hard like a typhoon. The fire died, making the place dark. The waves are getting stronger as her tears fall and the rain falls too. I held her close to me and spread my wings. It is time for us to go.
I snapped my fingers, and we were back inside her room. She immediately falls asleep while she’s whispering how much she loves me, with her tears still falling. I lay her down on her bed, wiped her tears, and got clothes inside her cabinet. She is soaking wet, and I need to dry her or else she will get sick. I remove her nightdress, and her beautiful body is now in front of me. I got her towel and wiped her while thinking about the hugs and kisses a while ago. She didn’t know how much she was tempting me, even in her sleep. I wear her new clothes, and I spread her wet nightdress on the chair beside her bed. The wind blew cold and made her shake. I covered her with her blanket, and I watched her sleep for the last time because tomorrow when she wakes up. I know she will remember everything about her dream, which is not a dream. I know she will look for me and get dismayed if she does not find me in my apartment again. I kissed her lips for one more time and whispered in her ear,
“Sleep well, my majesty, because tomorrow I know you will look for me
The hugs and kisses that we had tonight will remain in me
This waiting shall end soon… so please hold on,”
I snapped my finger, and I already have fresh, red roses in my hand, which symbolize my love for her. I put it on her table to make her smile when she sees it tomorrow when she wakes up. Even I know it won’t help to ease her longings for me. I looked at her for one last time before I spread my wings and fly, leaving my love sleeping alone while longing for her love to come home and be with her is a nightmare. Tomorrow is another day. She needs to go on with her life even without me. I am back inside my apartment with Tania’s thoughts inside my head. I hope the roses will help ease the pain I caused her, even for a moment. I sat on my chair and reminisced about her love for me, how she begged me to stay and how she held me tight because she didn’t want to let me go. All of it will linger in me. That will add pressure on me to finish the task given to me. I took a deep breath, leaned on the chair, and closed my eyes while still thinking of Tania.
“Is she your new girl?” The voice behind me suddenly asked. The familiar voice that I had almost forgotten. My whole body froze as I heard the voice again. I slowly turned around to see who she was, and I get surprised because I didn’t expect to see her again.